North v. South - ThinnerTimes

Dara · 08-25-2005, 01:20 PM

My family is originally from the South and I was raised with a "Southern flavor." For those of you who are in the South or have a Southern background...this is pretty funny! Enjoy!

NORTH V. SOUTH
The North has coffee houses. The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services. The South has family reunions.
The North has double last names. The South has double first names.
The North has Cream of Wheat. The South has grits.
The North has green salads. The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters. The South has crawfish.

FOR NORTHERNERS COMING SOUTH:
In the South, if you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing, "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big 'ol" truck or "big 'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "he needed killin'" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Have a good day! Send this to at least four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.

lealphachienne · 08-25-2005, 01:22 PM

Hilarious...know of any East vs. West?

katlover66 · 08-25-2005, 01:23 PM

Dara,
Boy did that bring back memories. My nana was from the south and I lived in the plain states for a while. And yes I'm a pretty good shot.

VanessaSFL · 08-25-2005, 01:29 PM

Dara,
Very cute.I think the only thing I say that strikes people funny ...when someone asks a question or makes a statement I respond,"I guuuuessss"
I try to correct myself but then I hear my Daddy say it and I know where it comes from.
BTW~My son will be 9 in Dec and is already been SG and bow shopping with his Daddy.

I grew up in NC and always wore slips under skirts...well here in FL you can't find them anywhere....Is that a southern thing?Slips under skirts?

Florida is not the south in my book...

Thanks Dara, Vanessa

katlover66 · 08-25-2005, 01:37 PM

Try penny's or mervyn's somebody has to carry slips.

Dara · 08-25-2005, 01:42 PM

Van:

Where in NC did you grow up? We lived in Lexington for a year or so when I was 4 and my brother was born there (yes, he's a tar heel). I still have a couple of relatives in Lexington.

I was actually born in Arkansas! We moved to San Diego when I was 6 (thank God), so I'm almost a California native. However, when your family is Southern, you're still raised as a Southerner! Love those black-eyed peas (not the group) and collards!

LOL

Arkansas and North Carolina...now THAT'S the South!

VanessaSFL · 08-25-2005, 01:43 PM

Katy~Do you wear slips in CA?I'm telling you,we wear them under everything.Summer...winter...spring ...fall.I can't find them here in Fl to save my life.Maybe it's because I am in the sub-tropics?

Van

VanessaSFL · 08-25-2005, 01:47 PM

The Sandhills of NC...Pinehurst...now a HUGE PGA area...two hours from the coast ...two hours from the Mountians.Right in the middle.

Dara~Do you ever see Down home cooking with Paula....on the food network?She reminds me of everyone of my moms friends.Cracks my husband up..he's a good'ol GA boy..he has NO room to laugh.

Van

Americanwoman397 · 08-25-2005, 01:49 PM

Girl I thought I was going to die laughing at that. My family is from the South so when I go see them now I laugh. I love them all but it is just to funny. Thanks for making me laugh when I wasn't have the best day.

pambragg · 08-25-2005, 01:49 PM

Thanks for a good chuckle. I, too, would be interested to hear an East/West version