Other People's Opinions - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

loki8481 · 11-01-2009, 01:08 AM

fuck 'em

but yeah... that's why I don't tell the world about my surgery. I told the lady who does my laundry for me because it's hard to hide when my jeans shrink from 54" to 34" and my tops shrink fom XXXXL to XL in a matter of months (people who see me every day night not notice on a day to day basis, but my laundry lady sees the numbers. lol). the first thing she said after I mentioned it was "well, I hope you don't gain the weight back" and proceeded to tell me a story about a cousin of hers who died from the surgery.

it's like, gee thanks.

momrobare · 11-01-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loki8481

fuck 'em

but yeah... that's why I don't tell the world about my surgery. I told the lady who does my laundry for me because it's hard to hide when my jeans shrink from 54" to 34" and my tops shrink fom XXXXL to XL in a matter of months (people who see me every day night not notice on a day to day basis, but my laundry lady sees the numbers. lol). the first thing she said after I mentioned it was "well, I hope you don't gain the weight back" and proceeded to tell me a story about a cousin of hers who died from the surgery.

it's like, gee thanks.

HI
Well I asked this lady who I knew from soap opera websites why she had hers reversed...so I guess I asked for the horror story! I've known this lady since 1998 online so when she said she was recovering from stomach surgery...I just had to find out what kind...since she said she couldn't eat for 2 weeks just liquids!

She told me what went wrong but STRESSED that it was an anolomy and that many people do just fine...she happened to be one that didn't.

So I guess it's my own fault in a way because I WANT to know the good and the bad...and not just from the dr because his was pretty cut and dried...I wanted a first hand personal experience.

GoolyMoogly · 11-01-2009, 08:40 PM

What I don't understand is that people seem to think that WLS is some kind of cosmetic surgery that people opt to do just to lose weight and look nice. The truth for many of us WLS was a matter of life and death. Many of us were suffering from debilitating illness that decreased our quality of life and increased our mortality rates. If I knew a person needed heart by-pass to save their life or chemotherapy to fight a cancerous tumor I would support them wholeheartedly. I don't understand this nonsense about people trying to discourage very sick people who need to save their lives by having this surgery from having it. Looking slim and nice is a wonderful side effect of the surgery but is by no means the sole reason one considers this. All the tedious tests and appointments back and forth on and on and on, is to meant to make sure that one absolutely needs it and that remaining obese is a danger to their life. For me the risk has been well worth it and it would have been a bigger risk to my life had I remained on the dangerous path I was on. No one desires to be sick and despite the causes if one needs surgery to fix it then surgery one must get. If a smoker gets lung cancer do we condemn them and leave them die without care. No we stop the finger pointing and focus on attempting to find a solution. Everyone deserves a chance and a chance they can succeed at. Fat people are no different and should not be condemned and shunned for needing help. (RANT OVER!)

A few facts to consider:
Obesity is estimated to cause about 300,000 deaths in the U.S. every year, according to the American Obesity Association. It also causes many other serious health conditions, such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.

GoolyMoogly · 11-01-2009, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loki8481

fuck 'em

but yeah... that's why I don't tell the world about my surgery. I told the lady who does my laundry for me because it's hard to hide when my jeans shrink from 54" to 34" and my tops shrink fom XXXXL to XL in a matter of months (people who see me every day night not notice on a day to day basis, but my laundry lady sees the numbers. lol). the first thing she said after I mentioned it was "well, I hope you don't gain the weight back" and proceeded to tell me a story about a cousin of hers who died from the surgery.

it's like, gee thanks.

LOL. I don't say a word either. One of my neighbors was probing me the other day about how I am losing all this weight. I just told her, smaller portions, eating the "right" things and plenty of exercise. Lord knows that ain't a lie. My dignity remains intact. I don't have to subject myself to her "opinions" about my health. In much the same way I would not discuss if I was suffering from hermorroids (sp?) or if I had a vaginal infection. Nobody's damn business.

GoolyMoogly · 11-01-2009, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hychap2009

I think you have to keep in mind that not everyone fully understands or appreciates the need for WLS. It's not always an easy decision to make - having the surgery, but once you've made it - it has nothing to do with anyone else apart from your nearest and dearest. You have your support system around you, so what does it matter about what others think. I would suggest you just don't discuss it - its off the agenda. Do what you need to do, you know the reasons why you even considered having the surgery. You want to be healthy and fit to spend time with your family as they grow.

Don't let other people pressure you.

Silence is golden. lol

I 100% agree.

KimmyToo · 11-02-2009, 08:50 AM

I am so thankful for this message board and for all of you who are willing to share. I have my surgery consultation on Thursday (Nov 5). My mom had GBP years ago and has never had a single complication (knock on wood). She is so excited for me that some days I feel like she's pressuring me, but I know she just realizes what a huge change it made in her life and wants me to feel the same.

For all of the reasons mentioned here, I don't want to tell anyone who doesn't need to know, either. I've been on WW off-and-on since October of 2000, so they probably will just think I'm back on the wagon, and I will likely leave it that way, too. I am a teacher, so I am crossing my fingers that my surgery can be scheduled as soon as school is out. I don't figure my insurance will approve any faster, so that's what I'm aiming toward.

I'm scared because I've never had any sort of surgery, but some days I'd do it next week if they'd schedule me. I assume this is normal. My doctor first sugested this months ago, and it took me plenty of time to decide to even see the surgeon. I realize it's my personal decision, but again I am thankful for those of you here who offer so much encouragement and are so willing to share.

poet_kelly · 11-02-2009, 08:55 AM

Hi, Kimmy. Sounds totally normal to me.

Kelly

mistymee · 11-02-2009, 09:19 AM

I ended up telling everyone, cuz as you might've noticed (or will) I talk. A lot. LOL. I knew there was no way I'd be keeping it a secret. So I told people at my work and my friends and only one tried to talk to me out of it, giving me horror stories he'd heard, but in the end, he was very supportive.

The women at work who were not US born, of which were the majority, had a little trouble understanding it, so when I came back still fat from my medical leave they were a tad confused, as they thought I was gonna have it all cut off. There were too many languages to try to find someone to translate so it left a few comical instances but it also had me extremely frustrated at times and regretting how open I am.

Honestly, moving away was the best thing for me, because 99 % of the people I meet now have NO idea what I was like before and I like it that way. Though it does remove the "WOW, look at YOU" that happen post op for a lot of people.

(And does anyone else add the "Opinions, are like assholes..everbody has one" to this thread when they see the title, or is it just me

)

Sunmaid · 11-12-2009, 02:27 PM

I'm struggling with the decision on whether or not to tell family members.

My husband knows, of course, and I'll probably tell my children something about it just in case something bad happens on the table (they're 12 and 8), but not the gory details. Also, a good friend of mine is significantly overweight and I think she could benefit from this as well (has been her entire life and is diabetic for years). That's about it though.

I was just going to tell my boss that I need surgery, hence the time off, but not what it was for and it really isn't anyone else's business. As another poster mentioned, if folks ask, I'm losing weight by watching portions, eating mostly healthy protein and veggies, cutting out sugar and processed foods, and exercising.

The problem is my parents. My mom in particular. Should I tell her or not tell her? She's very judgemental and is part of the reason I started getting fat in the first place. She had me on diets from the time I was 16, even though I was 140 and 5'9", she wanted me "model thin". I rebelled with food. So, you'd think she would be happy that I was doing something to take care of the weight, but she's also very against doctors and the medical profession. She's into holistic medicine and objected to my vaccinating my children.

Frankly, I don't want to listen to it one way or the other, and I know there will be a ton of lectures in there. But if I go into surgery and she doesn't find out about it, she's going to guilt trip me like nobody's business. Either way, I'm screwed.

Highlandlass · 11-12-2009, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunmaid

I'm struggling with the decision on whether or not to tell family members.

My husband knows, of course, and I'll probably tell my children something about it just in case something bad happens on the table (they're 12 and 8), but not the gory details. Also, a good friend of mine is significantly overweight and I think she could benefit from this as well (has been her entire life and is diabetic for years). That's about it though.

I was just going to tell my boss that I need surgery, hence the time off, but not what it was for and it really isn't anyone else's business. As another poster mentioned, if folks ask, I'm losing weight by watching portions, eating mostly healthy protein and veggies, cutting out sugar and processed foods, and exercising.

The problem is my parents. My mom in particular. Should I tell her or not tell her? She's very judgemental and is part of the reason I started getting fat in the first place. She had me on diets from the time I was 16, even though I was 140 and 5'9", she wanted me "model thin". I rebelled with food. So, you'd think she would be happy that I was doing something to take care of the weight, but she's also very against doctors and the medical profession. She's into holistic medicine and objected to my vaccinating my children.

Frankly, I don't want to listen to it one way or the other, and I know there will be a ton of lectures in there. But if I go into surgery and she doesn't find out about it, she's going to guilt trip me like nobody's business. Either way, I'm screwed.

Hi Sunmaid - I feel for you in the situation with yur mother. I know a Holistic Doctor, she is actually my son's mother in law, and she didn't understand why I would go the surgical route either, but she has been really supportive now that the surgery is over and done with and she sees me happier and healthier. I suggest if you do tell your mother, and its totally your call, you need to preface it with the fact that its going to happen whether she agrees or not and she can help you best by supporting you in it rather than opposing your judgement. She might be a great advisor post op with the vitamins, supplements and mineral replacements and with proper eating. Give her some reading material so she can be educated about bariatric surgery. Use her knowledge and love for you and just don't allow her to be a negative force in your journey. Just my opinion, hope it helps a bit!

You do need supportive, positive people around you during your pre- and post-op times.