Christi

I told my parents, husband, sister in law and select few friends. I don't regret telling anyone. One of my friends did give lots of negative feedback and it put a strain on our relationship, but we got to the root of her feelings and things are better now.

If I had to do it all over again I would tell the same people. People are now starting to notice that I am losing weight and are asking questions. I telling them what they want to know and thats it.

I have had some negative feed back but I chalk it up to being just life.

__________________
Christi


Pre-op 246 lbs
Surgery day 238 lbs
Current 204 lbs

Surgery date: September 16 2009

Battling PCOS and Hypothyroid one day at a time

GoolyMoogly

I chose not to tell a single soul except my husband. My children know that mommy had to go to hospital and mommy can't eat this or that but it isn't something they would announce to anyone else because they are both still very young and really couldn't care less. I chose not to say anything because I come from a background that has very "fixed" ideas about the causes of obesity and weightloss. I don't have obese family members so they have always failed to understand why I can't just "get myself together" and "get moving or something." They all think I am just a greedy pig and that I am lazy. I also suffered from severe acne well into my 20s and my mother was extremely critical of me and blamed it on everything from my diet, to not drinking enough water, to poor hygiene. None of it was more further from the truth but once she has something in her brain about what is wrong with me that is what she sticks to. I know they would have been violently opposed to my surgery. By not telling them I probably did myself a favor because I was able to get the surgery with little to no stress. They are such an influential bunch they may have banded together to STOP me from harming myself or possibly killing myself. This is how they think. I also know that there are other people who would see my surgery as a cop-out and I couldn't deal with that kind of criticism and rumors behind my back which would no doubt find their way back to me. I have enough on my plate just trying to do the right thing and get myself healthy so I can be around for my children and enjoy my life by doing all the things that being huge has prevented me from enjoying. My health history is my business and mine alone so I this why I chose to keep it to myself. I don't owe anyone an explanation for my sudden and dramatic weightloss. Let them wonder! Let them stay up at night wondering! I don't care!

__________________
*NOTHING TO LOSE, EVERYTHING TO GAIN*

Pre-Op Highest weight 262
Lost weight in preparation for surgery 247lbs but gained some.
Weight at surgery 252 lbs
Surgery date 09/10/2009
Current weight: 205 lbs (57lbs since highest and 47lbs since surgery)
Goal Weight 110!!!! Oh my I cannot wait!!

KimmyToo

I'm glad to see this thread! I am just beginning the process, and the only people who know are my mother and sister. I don't want people to know because I don't want their comments and stories. A lady I teach with had GBS several years ago, and I'd love to talk with her about it, but I also don't want everyone at work to know I'm considering it, going back to their comments and stories as said above. The decision is mine.

That being said, when my mom had this surgery 5 years ago she made the same choice. I have told her I don't want anyone to know, but my gut tells me she will be the one who feels she can tell a select few. I hope I'm wrong, since I respected her privacy, but only time can tell.

Thank all of you for sharing, as this is a wonderful resource!

Kim

kantonucci

I've only told a handful of people and only 2 co-workers. One of the co-workers had the bypass surgery over a year ago, so I knew I could talk to her and she really is a wealth of information.

I've noticed that my true friends are excited for me since they know I've done a ton of research. There are many people that I just worry about telling, so I've made the decision not to say anything to them until after the surgery.

It really is a difficult decision, but in the end I feel like it's my decision to make and I don't really plan on telling anyone else. Of course that doesn't mean that the people that I've told won't tell anyone else.

Good luck!

loki8481

I told my mom and asked her not to mention it to anyone outside of immediate family... so she of course told anyone and everyone that she ran into /sigh

so pretty much the entire 40+ population of the eastern seaboard knows.

personally, I take a "it's none of anyone's business" approach to pretty much everything in my life, surgery included. I told my close friends, immediate family (parents, sister), my boss at work, and a handful of coworkers who asked about why I was taking 2.5 weeks off of work in december when normal company policy doesn't allow more than a week off at a time (but the people at work I told have been pretty good about not really spreading it around the office).

__________________
~Alan


as of 11/18/09

goal #1: 225 pounds (my weight freshman year of high school) -- reached on 9/13/09
goal #2: onderville (199) -- reached on 11/19/09
goal #3: normal BMI (173)

Milestones:

12/04: pre-op diet start (406)
12/18: surgery (383)
04/03: century club! (306)
04/11: twoterville! (299)
09/13: goal #1 reached! (225)
10/23: double century club! (206)
11/19: onederland! (199)

rsw

I have an unusual situation. In 2003, I decided I wanted to pursure WLS, but my BMI was only 32. I really hope this doesn't insult or offend any readers. Because I wouldn't qualify thru insurance, I decided to pay out of pocket. I decided on the gastric band. I tried to find someone in the US to do it, but ended up finding a website that connects people w/ doctors overseas. In Feb of 2004, I traveled to France and had the surgery. I knew next to nothing about the follow up care required and expected to get thin overnight. I told a lot of people about this surgery--lots of friends and family. Problem was, I came back to US and had no one who would treat me since I had had a swedish band put in and couldn't even get it filled. I finally found someone to fill it, but it was a 4 hour drive away, so I obv couldn't go very often.

And the story gets even more depressing. The band slipped, and I found a surgeon to modify and replace that stupid swedish band with a lap band, slipped that past insurance, and thought for sure, I was on my way to thinness. Wrong again. According to my surgeon, the lap band just isn't effective for 15-20% of people and has encouraged me to convert to a RNY. I never thought I was a candidate for that b/c I'm still not heavy enough (so maybe the band did something after all).

Now my THIRD wls is scheduled for Feb 3. This time around, I am not telling ANYONE. Only my husband and 2 friends. If it somehow fails, no one needs to know. And if I succeed, presumably people will just assume it was from the original lap band surgery.

Long story, sorry. But in general, it is best to keep it to yourself and wait to tell people once the undeniable results are in their face.

Josephine

So what's your BMI now going into RNY surgery?

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rsw

Still about 32. Am I totally crazy to be doing this?

Time For Heroes

Ultimately it's about you being happy and if you feel you need to make this choice then it's nobody elses business to discourage you.

Personally if I had a BMI of 32 I wouldn't have considered the surgery. Hell, if my BMI was sub 40 I probably wouldn't have. It's major surgery which carries with it all sorts of risks and will impact on your life forever.

The question to really ask yourself is: Will losing any excess weight make a considerable difference to your life? If the answer to that is yes, and you can find a surgeon to do it then I don't see why you shouldn't, I would however think about it long and hard before going through with it.

TxHunni

LOL Alan. I really did LOL at this.