"They don't see what I see..." - ThinnerTimes

eyesthatkissu · 07-17-2005, 11:46 PM

Last night my husband and I went out to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. We had such a wonderful time. As some of you know and I'm sure most of you can relate too, I always feel like my weight is in issue in our relationship. He never makes me feel that way, but I still feel like it is. So last night, over dinner, we were talking about me heading back into the work force. It's been 9 years! My youngest will be in school full time starting this fall, so I thought it would be a good time to get my feet wet with a part time job. After my WLS of course. He mentioned maybe me being a secretary in his office. As an afterthought he added, "After you lose weight though." I paused a moment, and stared at him, and then he looked stricken as he realized what he said. He stopped eating and just kind of stared off into space for a few minutes. I knew he didn't mean it as an insult, and didn't want him to feel badly, so I kind of giggled and asked him if he had stopped eating because he felt guilty. He thought a moment and said, "I want you to know I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I want to tell you this though. When we used to go out people looked at me and thought I was the luckiest man alive. I still think I am! But when they look at us, I know what they are thinking, and I get frustrated because they don't see what I see. I get mad because they don't know you yet they judge you. I just want you to be happy again. The kind of happy that rests in your heart and sparkles in your eyes. But know this, I love you more today then I did 15 years ago, and I still think you are the most beautiful woman in the world." I am lucky to be loved so much.

WLS is a life changing experience. But I'm just now starting to realize how much, not only WLS, but obesity changes the lives of the people that love us. Being an obese person, so much of my "healing" time is spent on myself. Trying to cope with what I have done to myself and the reasons why. It takes an awful lot to remember that my weight has effected everyone around me. My husband, my children, my father and sister, my friends. So many things in my life have been adversely affected by this. I can't wait to take life changing steps to have the happiness rest in my heart and sparkle in my eyes once again. I just can't wait.

lealphachienne · 07-18-2005, 03:33 AM

You have a smart man there to answer you honestly and lovingly. Count your blessings. The sparkle will return. However, let's be honest, we know that looks account for a lot in the workplace. That's just the way it is. You can find some way to try to change the enviroment and remain miserable or you learn how to work it to your advantage and make it a postivie thing. I'm in the same postion at work as I was pre-op. Yet, I'm getting a lot more respect now. People have forgotten how fat I was. Of course, if they saw mw now, bloated with 20 lb water gain, then they'd run

watergirl · 07-18-2005, 06:28 AM

That was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal moment with us. I really got more out of it than you probably know. Thanks again.

I believe you will get that sparkle back. I can't wait to celebrate that moment with you.

eyesthatkissu · 07-18-2005, 08:31 AM

Thanks guys..... funny thing is, I didn't know I wasn't sparkling anymore! LOL.... I guess as hard as we try we can't hide our pain. I really can't wait to work again, but since I'm in the industry of making people beautiful, guess I better wait a bit! LOL

Jeanie · 07-18-2005, 09:03 AM

Ok so I've never met your husband, but I so totally love him.

What an awesome guy. I hope that some day I will find someone to love me as much as he loves you.

eyesthatkissu · 07-18-2005, 09:12 AM

Awwww Jeannie..... you totally will! And keep in mind... he didn't come out of a box like that! This is the same man that after we had had a great Mother's Day, I looked over and asked... "well, don't I get flowers or something?" he replies..... "I totally was going to get you flowers! But I didn't see one of those guys standing on the corner." *snort*

bridgetgirl · 07-18-2005, 09:59 AM

Chicken! What a neat post. It gave me chills because its so true. I just love ya guys.. I cant wait to see you on Saturday!

Anyone wanna come with me to see Robin, this is the day I make miracles happen and get her to LOVE MK! he he

I cant wait to hug your fabulous lovely neck!

eyesthatkissu · 07-18-2005, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

Anyone wanna come with me to see Robin, this is the day I make miracles happen and get her to LOVE MK! he he

I cant wait to hug your fabulous lovely neck!

Hey that's a good idea! Come on up people! I'd love to have the company! Maybe we can BBQ even. Ya'll can split a drumstick!

Cinerbelle · 07-18-2005, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

Chicken! What a neat post. It gave me chills because its so true. I just love ya guys.. I cant wait to see you on Saturday!

Anyone wanna come with me to see Robin, this is the day I make miracles happen and get her to LOVE MK! he he

I cant wait to hug your fabulous lovely neck!

What is MK?

eyesthatkissu · 07-18-2005, 11:27 AM

MK.... Mary Kay..... having been in the beauty business for YEARS, I was not a fan of the products back in the day. But Bridgette swears they have changed... and is comming up to prove it to me! LOL..... Oh Cin..... only an hour and a half to go! Woo hooo!