Shetaz0028

Hi everyone,

Let me start with a little back ground here. I just turned 40, am 5' and weigh 210, with a petite bone structure. I am the wife of a retired Marine with Tricare Prime.

I know quite a few people that have had this done and the results are amazing. They have been trying to get me to do it for years but, I was brainless enough to think that it was the "quick" way out. I know better now. I have done the 5 glasses of water before eating, using a small plate and fork, JC, WW, Herbalife, Slimfast, Southbeach, and shamefully enough leptoprin. Of course with all of them the weight went on vacation for about a month and when it came back it brought friends and extended family.

I recently spent some time with my mother in law who is 5'2 and 350. For her to come visit us for 7 days she had to bring a cooler filled with meds and even when she got here we had to get O2 tanks. She was breathless walking from the apartment to the elevators and is just miserable. I saw me in 20 years and I don't want that. Yes, my knees, hips, back, and feet kill me if I have to walk and if I push it they swell.

I asked my PCM about this and she didn't even finish her "I'll be right back" before she handed me the seminar information and Tricare contact. I'm going to the meeting next Monday and my referral has been turned in (yesterday).

I have been living on these forums since I made the decision and can not seem to make heads or tails of a few things. I would greatly appreciate any help anyone can give.

1) How can I find out if I have to do the 6 month diet thing?
2) For the most part I do not go to the doctor because I am told that everything is because of my weight. (I can't sleep because of my weight, my skin is dry because of my weight) Will this keep me from being able to get the surgery?

I don't want to do this to get into that cute little dress. I want to do this because I am sick and tired of sitting on the sidelines of life. I want to play in the game too.

Thank you so much and have a great day,
Shetaz

snick1899

Hi, and welcome!
If you call your insurance company they should give you all the requirements to getting approved. My insurance company provided the info by phone and refered me to the website to see the official document.
Hope this helps!

__________________
Jen

Lap RNY July 22, 2008
Couch to 5k Runner #1!
Scale Whore #23!
Gym Rat #122!

298/277/160/190/140
Highest/Day of Surgery/Current/Dr.'s Goal/My Goal

12/29/2008 - ONEDERLAND!
12/31/2008 - CENTURY CLUB!
2/1/2009 - Beat my surgeon's goal!

"Some things I cannot change, but til I try I'll never know!"
~ Elphaba (Wicked, The Musical)

mistymee

Hi there, Shetaz.. welcome to TT! the answer to #1 is to ask your insurance company as was suggested already.. they are your best source of this information.

The answer to #2 is.. probably not, however it might mean you will need to do the six month thing first. I didn't have to do the six month pre-op diet due to the fact that I had BCBS of MA and they allowed it to be waived if I met certain criteria, which I did, plus the fact that I had been with my PCP for 15 years and she had documented all my past attempts at weight loss.

I know some here have written detailed letters to their insurance company's, explaining all their past attempts and it seems has helped some get approval.

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karrie

Hi well I understand all your thoughts I went to 2 seminars and still waited 7 months before making a choice to have surg. I was sure that I could do this my self. I could not understand why I did not have more control. The fact that I was looking at not being able to see my grand kids graduate, marry, laugh amd be here to hold them when they cry made my choice.I have BC they did not require the 6 months diet program but I did spend alot of time on my papers to the surg making sure I put everything I have tried I went to a center of excellance which my insurance approved my surg in 4 days I had to wait 1 1/2 months for the surg which comparied to others is very fast. I am 6 days post op and am doing so well still on clear liq not hungry at all it changes somthing in your head hot sure how or why. I know you will do great the fact that you waited just means you wern't ready. You need to be ready this is a complete life change. Let me know if you need any info that I can help with.

Karrie

__________________
Karrie
RNY 8/28/08
starting 328

Shetaz0028

Thank you so much ladies. I have to say that since I made this decision I have not been able to keep much down because of the butterflies in the tummy. I want to get so excited and dream of the "after" life but, I just can't until the surgery day is here.

I did have a strange situation come up after I discussed this with my husband though. He's afraid that if I'm thin again I won't love him anymore. Which is so untrue I can't even put it into words. He hasn't slept and even though I tell him that I loved him at 80lbs when we met and married and I love him more today at 209 and the fact that he thinks I am the most beautiful woman that ever took a breath. He's still worried that I'll leave him once other guys start looking at me. I've told him over and over again that he's it for me. He's been the one since we met when I was 17 but, he's still worried. Did anyone else go through this? If so how did you deal with it?

Thank you so much for all of the encouragement and support. I feel like I'm home here. )

mistymee

Hi hon.. I think this is a common fear for a lot of people.

WLS can affect relationships but from what I've seen and from what other people have said what it seems is that the good relationships tend to get better and the rough relationships tend to get worse.

There does seem to be a rather high divorce rate reported after WLS, and I know that anecdotes don't mean much if we're talking statistically, but it seems that those that divorce often had trouble in their marriages prior to surgery; statistics just don't allow for reasoning behind the situation, you know?

"They" say (not really sure who 'They' is, lol) that often an obese person has a tendency to settle for someone who isn't really their true love. This doesn't sound to be the situation in your case, though so I wouldn't worry about it.

I'm thankful that even though I met my fiancé while I was obese that he is not at all worried (or at least doesn't voice those worries, if he is).. I remember when we visited my office a few weeks after my surgery and one of my male coworkers says to him "What are you going to do when she loses the weight and gets sexy?" and Geof replied "what do you mean GETS sexy? She already is!" Ahhh.. gotta love that man Sounds like yours thinks similarly

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Shetaz0028

Hi Misty.

I did luck out and get a great one that's for sure. This is just throwing me because I have never known him to be insecure about anything before. If this is what I have been like all these years it amazes me that he's still around. I guess I'll just have to remind him every day that he still takes my breath away. )

Have a great day

__________________
Mad luv and respect,
Charlie

LAP/RNY 8/20/09



"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
– St. Francis of Assisi

karrie

My husband had the same concerns. I think that the relationships that fall apart after surg are ones that were not stable before. My husband was visably nervous when I went in to surg and was there when I woke up he showered me, he covered me up, he kissed me like I was a super model. I could never be more in love with this man. I'll I hope is that with my weight loss I will be able to spend more years with him to hold his hand and thank GOD for him. You are a lucky women but he is a lucky man and sounds like he knows it.

__________________
Karrie
RNY 8/28/08
starting 328

Shetaz0028

Happy Friday,

Well, hubby and I pulled an all nighter talk session and I think I have a handle on the situation. Yes, he is afraid that some other man could sweep me off my feet. The only man in the world that has that chance is Sean Connery and I really don't think he's going to be beating down my door. Even then I just want him to talk to me. ;o) But, more importantly I have become so dependent on him that he's afraid that I won't need him any more. Of course this is totally untrue. I ask him to do things because I'm tired of doing them myself. He's been gone most of our marriage that I want him to be a part now that he's home. Lastly he's afraid of something going wrong and losing me. But, I have done so much research and talked to so many people that I know I don't have to worry except for a freak thing. But, that could happen in our home. I could just as easily die from a slip in the shower as I could on the table. I told him that he would have to take the time off to go to all my appointments with me and wish he could go to the seminar with me but, I'll tell him everything from it. I explained that this decision effects him almost as much as it effects me and he seemed pretty happy about that. I then pulled out the teddy from our wedding night and hung it on the closet door. That's his reward for loving me so much )

__________________
Mad luv and respect,
Charlie

LAP/RNY 8/20/09



"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
– St. Francis of Assisi

Linda in MN

Aw, you two sound like you are really in love. I think you will be fine. I do think it would be great for him to go to your appointments with you so he feels included in the process. I had to have three psych appointments and my husband went with me to the last one. I think it's good for the spouse to do that if possible to help them with their feelings about the surgery.

Keep us up to date on your progress! I know you will do well.

Linda
RNY scheduled 10/7/08