How did you come to your final decision to have surgery? - ThinnerTimes

jlcunni · 03-01-2008, 03:52 PM

I am on a constant battle with my myself about doing this, I know the risks are minimal but I'm still so scared something will happen to me. One second I'm 100% sure this is the right choice for me, then the next minute I'm freaking out. I'm only 37 and I have 4 young children, I'm so worried about leaving them behind, even tho I know that chances are small that will happen, I just can't help but think about it. How did YOU overcome these fears? Did YOU have these thoughts? I just wish someone could guarantee a problem free surgery so I could relax a bit.

Robin W · 03-01-2008, 05:36 PM

Honestly, having a grandchild born last year and realizing how much I missed with my own children because of my obesity was the drawing line for me. Now, 6 months post-surgery, I am down on the floor playing with and then able to run after my almost one-year old granddaughter. She's the light of my life and I just wish I had done this when my children were younger so their quality of life may have been better or less embarassing.

The fears are normal, I'd feel safe saying we all have them. And thankfully, the majority of us will tell you this initial anxiety is so worth it to come out on the other side with our health and energy restored. Only you can make the decision to have or not have this surgery, my testimony is only that I wish I had done it years ago. I feel wonderful and no longer huff and puff going up the stairs. I can walk the malls with my daughters and not feel like I'm an embarassment to them. I can sit in a seat at a theater, concert and airplane and not feel like I'm crowding the person sitting next to me. I shop in the "regular" people section of the department store, no longer looking for the plain, boring clothing so I don't draw attention to myself. I'm Happy. Food and cravings no longer control me. I just can't express how much the surgery has done to change my life and I couldn't be more thrilled. I wish the same for everyone else who chooses the same decision I did. To live life, not just watch everyone else living life.

Take a deep deep breath and truly think about the reasons YOU want/need this surgery. What means the most to you? Are you willing to let your fears of the unknown override your potential future happiness and health?

I'll step down now. I'm sure you'll get plenty of responses. I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

Claire-in-Texas · 03-01-2008, 05:59 PM

I'm with Robin.

I was scared, yes. I was, however, positive that it was my only option. I was in a wheelchair (degenerative lumbar spine disease - spinal stenosis), and I realize now that it was my obesity that put me there. I am very glad I had the surgery, and would do it again 100 times.

Now, having said that, howeve,r it is very iimportant that YOU feel it is the right thing. What do your instincts tell you? What makes the most sense, both logically and emotionally? Are you comfortable that the surgeon you hav selected is the right one? If you haven't chosen one yet, then that will definitely affect how you feel about the surgery. Your surgeon is one of the two keys to success -- he/she must be vastly experienced in this surgery and specialize in it (my opinion), and the patient must be a compliant one, and follow all of the surgeon's guidelines.

I hope this helps.

Janelle · 03-01-2008, 06:21 PM

I, too, am 37; however, I am single with no children. So, I have only myself to think of. I never considered gbs seriously until after my mom died. My mom was VERY anti gbs. And I would have been too afraid to "rebel" against her, even at 37! However, she passed away last April. So many aspects of my life were out of control at that point. And one night, I was up late surfing the web and came across my doctor's website. I called that Monday and signed up for a seminar.

I have little thoughts that something could happen, but I am sick of living the way I do now. I easily get out of breath. I want to sleep all the time. My back aches constantly. I just don't want to live like this anymore.

My surgeon is extremely skilled, and even at the hospital, the nurses who performed the pre-op testing had nothing but fabulous things to say about my surgeon. That made me feel much better.

When I balance the quality of life I have now against the risks to have surgery, there is just no comparison. I'm very willing to roll the dice.

becca69 · 03-01-2008, 07:27 PM

Jamie,
I too had the same exact feelings. I am a parent also and so wanted someone to just say to me, I guarentee you there will be no problems. But nobody ever said that. It was a decision that you just need to come to on your own. As soon as I got my date, from that point on there was nothing else I could think about. It totally consumed me, I was scared to death and then something happened to me and I was no longer scared, I was excited. I slept great from that point on and on the morning of my surgery I woke up as calm as could be. I'm now 5 wks. post op, doing great and am down 45 lbs. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Phoenixfire · 03-02-2008, 12:54 AM

Hi Jamie,
I didn't overcome the fear or make the decision quickly. I researched and contemplated it for nearly two years. I didn't have that one moment of epiphany, if that's what you're asking. What I had as a list (I'm very logical) and that list was a pro vs. con one. And the pros were five times longer than the cons. That's what was my deciding factor and what gave me the certainty that it was the right choice for me.
Funny thing is that there are "pros" I didn't even know back then but have now become ones I LOVE. Goes to show you that as much as you rationally approach a big decision,, there are always things you cannot anticipate.
And yes, some of those are serious "cons" as others have found here. I can't address those.
So make a list. One side have the WHY I THINK IT IS RIGHT and the other side is WHY I THINK IT IS WRONG. And carry it with you and KEEP it. That tool was my deciding factor

I_love_Hello Kitty · 03-02-2008, 01:20 AM

I was worried about my children as well...4 and 7. I was so nervous I'd die on the table. But in the end I was more fearful that within just a few years I'd be one of the people who needed one of those scooters to get around. My knee was hurting bad...I had plantar facitis (heel spur), I had hip pain (still do a bit, but think its arthritis)...most of the pain is now gone. I was just so fearful I'd be immobile soon.

Physically its a different story for me now. I do feel a lot better. However, unlike many I can eat anything...so my food issues are not gone...I still do battle cravings all the time. So that hasn't gone away. And I am continually fearful of gaining it back. But I feel I have given myself a decent headstart I wouldn't have had otherwise.

Claire-in-Texas · 03-02-2008, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janelle

I, too, am 37; however, I am single with no children. So, I have only myself to think of. I never considered gbs seriously until after my mom died. My mom was VERY anti gbs. And I would have been too afraid to "rebel" against her, even at 37! However, she passed away last April. So many aspects of my life were out of control at that point. And one night, I was up late surfing the web and came across my doctor's website. I called that Monday and signed up for a seminar.

I have little thoughts that something could happen, but I am sick of living the way I do now. I easily get out of breath. I want to sleep all the time. My back aches constantly. I just don't want to live like this anymore.

My surgeon is extremely skilled, and even at the hospital, the nurses who performed the pre-op testing had nothing but fabulous things to say about my surgeon. That made me feel much better.

When I balance the quality of life I have now against the risks to have surgery, there is just no comparison. I'm very willing to roll the dice.

Janelle, in my opinion, your thinking, logic and emotions are very sound.

This isn't about going against your mother - it's about making YOU a better, healthier, happier you.

Hugs,

Deirdrea · 03-02-2008, 03:51 PM

I will be 100% honest. I started this process a couple of years before I actually had surgery. I had 80% of my tests etc. done and then just stopped everything for a year. In that year I hit my highest weight and during that time I found out that one of my daughters classmates had made some really unflattering comments about me and the thought of that is REALLY what pushed me over the top. The thought of being the "fat mommy" really upset me.

People who opt for surgery are generally speaking food addicts. Like any other addict you need to hit "bottom" before you do something about it. What "it" is depends on the person. Some people are able to conqure their deamons and lose weight without having the tool from surgery some can't. I honestly would have continued to gain and become even more unhealthy and died at an early age.

I've now lost over 100lbs and feel 100% better and in general am a happier and healthier person who is no longer the "fat mommy". I still have a ways to go and I look forward to reaching my goals and being the best possible mom I can be for a very long time.

jlcunni · 03-03-2008, 03:09 AM

Thanks everyone, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has had these thoughts, I just keep waiting for that moment that I feel 100% at ease with this and it's not happening...yet. SO for now I'll continue getting everything in order and pray for that calm to wash over me soon.