How did you come to your final decision to have surgery? - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

LoriAnn925 · 03-03-2008, 08:09 AM

Jamie, Our situations sound very similar. I was 36 when I started thinking about having this surgery. I was 37 when I had it. I too have 4 children. I can't tell you that I worried about what would happen if something went wrong during surgery, becuase I was way more focused on what would happen if I didn't. At the time my youngest was 4, and I did not have the energy to play with her. I am one of the "lucky" ones that have had relatively no complications to speak of since surgery. I have lost over half my body weight, and feel better than I have since I was 18. I am in the best shape of my adult life right now, and wouldn't trade it for anything. I am one of those people that research and research and research before making any decisions. And I research for a year before deciding but once I had made my decision, that's all there was to it. I knew I was doing the right thing for me, and it was one of the best decisions that I've made. I'm a list person, so I second making the pros and cons list. It helps to see it on paper. I had a huge list of things that this surgery would help me accomplish and I'm happy to say that I have fulfilled almost everyone of them. Good Luck on making your decision.

newme08 · 03-03-2008, 08:26 AM

I am 38, and also have 4 children. I actually decided to have the surgery for one major reason, my kids. My dad is morbidly obese, has several health issues, all leading back to the weight problem. One day I looked at him and thought do I want to be as miserable as he is when I'm in my 50's and 60's. He can't participate in his grandchildrens lives the way I wish he could. So I thought, thats not fair for me to do to my kids and my grandchildren. I want to be that sixty year old grandma riding roller coasters and stuff with them. My kids range in ages from 15 to 5, and I actually did not feel that I would be there for them later.
My dad was hospitalized last week. He was intubated and heavily sedated, I just looked at him and thought to myself, yea you did the right thing by having this surgery. Hes back to his normal now, but we just wait for the next time to happen.
We go to Disney this June, and I can't wait to ride every roller coaster and ride with my kids.

LyndasRoom · 03-03-2008, 08:41 AM

Jamie,
I was scared out of my mind...but the more I researched and realized the changes in store for me, the more I knew I needed more "life in my years" as opposed to "years in my life" (which wouldn't have been many where I was). I got pretty emotional thinking of leaving my hubby and son behind...but the risk of that is minimal. I am so glad I took the risk. My life is definitely better today.

marine · 03-03-2008, 10:09 PM

Jamie,
So much was said already. My daughter was 5 went I took the decision. THe most difficult. And we haven't any close and young family to take care of her..... Therefore I was really scared, and felt very egoistic. However:
my physicians told me if I do nothing, I will any suffer even more from diabetes/MI/ degenerative.
Feeling like a full potatoe bag that can hardly move, I was a shame for my daughter, and socially+ at work, the people were not always so nice: I had to face it: I was fat, not anymore a star at work, definitely incapable to play or run after my daughter, she was telling me that I am fat, and finally not really attractive for my husband.

But overall I took the decision for 2 reasons:
1) Health reasons, I was going to hell continuing so

2) I did not want my daughter to get fat.... never ever, I will do anything to avoid her
the hell I have been through. It is criminal for a parent who suffer to leave kids have this food inbalance.

NOw I have 5 months out, both my daughter and husband are eating less because of me eating less, and my decision - THANK GOD THAT I AM ALIVE - was a very risky but the best. We do sport together, I can run, I look healthier, I am healthier despite few stomac problems

All seem like mountains before, the only mountain - except the risk of the surgery - is to fight the head hungryness.

DO not underestimate the risk of surgery, it is a serious surgery, therefore discuss it with your physician, your husband your family.

Finally last but not least, you can considerably minimize your risk of the surgery by having the most experience surgeons: do challenge them, ask them how many bypasses they have done. . Make sure you have all chances from your side, get the best ones, and then if you are decided - only you can decided - pray and wish for the best, a positive atitutude, and determination to win short and long term is 1 key for success.
Let us know Jamie.

Marine, the sea girl

katzz87 · 03-03-2008, 10:23 PM

As strange as it sounds, one of my defining moments leading to weight-loss surgery was when I was re-filling my medication dispenser...I went and got my "little pharmacy" of meds and and realized that I had 7 pills, 3 fish-oil capsules, vitamins, eye-drops to take at the age of 44, with no end in sight! The pharmacy new my name by sight and would ask "How many"...I was in there three weeks out of every month picking up one med or another. I'd had enough!!! It's 7 weeks post-op and I am off cholesterol, diabetes, halved my blood pressure meds...and bloodwork is looking good!

Oh, so happy with my decision!

MiladyB · 03-04-2008, 04:45 AM

Jamie, like everyone said this is a big decision and it is normal to have fears. You have to do what is right for you. For me I used my fears as the motivator to finally take control of my life and my health. I was almost 50 years old with diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and high cholesterol. I was getting to the point that it was getting harder and harder to do a job that I loved. I have 3 children all of who still live home with 1 still in high school. I had approached my pcp about surgery a year before and let my fear get in the way. He had gone on vacation and never sent in the letter to my insurance company. I just let it go until my health and fears for my own life and the desire not to be a burden on my family brought me to my bottom and I FINALLY really did something about taking control of my life instead of my fears controlling it.

I thankfully have really not had complications. I have lost over 200 pounds and all of my co-morbidities have been resolved. For the first time in my children's lives their Mom can actually join them in life. They never knew a Mom who could do that.

You may never be 100% certain. Those fears may always hang over your head. For myself I did find peace in my decision though there was always a fear about the "what ifs?"...but for me the "what ifs" were far more certain if I never went ahead and had the surgery. I would probably be close to being wheelchair bound, unable to work and most certainly headed toward an early death.

For me I used my fears to motivate me instead of paralyze me.

Amandazon247 · 03-12-2008, 09:28 AM

Hey Chick .. I think everyone is scared of surgery .... but I think I am more scared at what will happen if I dont do it.... I am almost on Diabetic medicine.... my HDL is off the chart... I am so tired all the time... I am 34 with 4 kids too..(amazing how many of us have 4 kids) they are 15, 11, and 8(twins) ... Last year my then 14 year old was a little chubby.. that kid damn near starved herself to get smaller and told me Mom I never want to be overweight its awful. It broke my heart to hear my child have issues with weight at 14 because I have issues with weight at 33. She is fine now with her weight but she is pretty small. The breaking point was having cancer.... going through radiation... and chemo... and surviving... only to find out that me being overweight put me at higher risk to have it happen again.... God's plan for me is clear and I had to decide between possibley die doing something to improve my life.. or I can wait around a for sure die from not doing anything about these issues..

Girl just try to think about it in a positive manner and take some time to decide... YOU have to do whats best for YOU....

Good luck

Godsblessedme · 03-12-2008, 03:58 PM

i am 36 and have a 15 year old, 5 year old, and 3 year old. I figured that if i didnt have this surgery I may not be around as long for them but if i'm healthy at least we both have a chance for a long healthy life

when you love someone, you want the best for them which means living longer and healthier for your children as long as you can.

I wish you success with your decision