Cute and funny... - ThinnerTimes

cnvh · 10-17-2007, 05:32 PM

This was posted on the boards through my hospital; it's probably been posted here before but i thought it was cute...

You know you're WLS post-op when...

- "I have a date" has nothing do with going out.
- "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
- "Welcome to the other side" does not mean you have died.
- You love the taste of Chewable Centrum Rug Rats Vitamins or biting the head off of Wilma.
- When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club!!
- When it's not Vikings vs. Bears but lap vs. open!
- When "No, I couldn't eat another bite" really has a deeper meaning!
- When you have to prove you are the person on your license!
- When Saying you're" open" doesn't mean your gay!
- When you run you don't hear a flapping noise.....oh wait you still do.....but at least you are running!
- Vitamins and calcium feel like a meal.
- You've lost 100 pounds, and someone who hasn't seen you in a while says, "Did you change your hair?"
- When you bend over and see daylight through your thighs.
- You can cross your legs!
- When you walk by a mirror and say to yourself "Who is that?"
- When the Sharpei you pass on the street reminds you of someone you know....Yourself! !
- When your hand will fit in the Pringles can again, but you don't want any.
- When the thought of an "all you can eat" buffet makes you want to throw up!
- No more cracked toilet seats!
- When your spandex shorts are used for "jogging," and not merely used as an anti-chaffing device.
- People who know you are concerned that you are working out too much.
- Running into old flames, and saying "Do I know you?"
- You look forward to flirting with the new cute phlebotomist at your doctor's office.
- You turn on the morning show just to see Al Roker!
- You are actually bold enough to not only admit your weight, but post it on the internet!
- When you call Lane Bryant and cancel your credit card.
- You have to start putting your name in your underwear again because you get them mixed up with your kids.
- People stop asking you to bring something to the pot lucks because they know you will only bring a salad.
- When you spend more time reading product labels for protein and carb content than you do reading books.

Squishy · 10-17-2007, 05:37 PM

Oh!! I thought of a good one...

"When your eyes really "are" bigger than your stomach!!"

fisher1000 · 10-17-2007, 06:28 PM

When you eat 5 shrimp post-op, and it feels like the pre-op feeling of eating a pound and a half of spaghetti and meatballs..

-Mike

Toony · 10-17-2007, 08:13 PM

Those are good ones!

When dumping takes on a whole new meaning.

When you go to the grocery for one item and walk out with one item.

When you order a kids meal and a doggie bag...

Lap Band patient: "I've had my fill" when passing on 2nd helpings...