Friend made me feel ashamed - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Dyann · 07-18-2007, 05:18 AM

I can't believe she asked you how much you weigh with or without people around. Sizing is so arbitrary today. I wear a solid 4, sometimes 6 and sometimes 2.....but if I go for a high end designer dress, I could be in an 8 or 10. You never know. As long as you are happy with how you look and feel...that is all that matters!!!

Your friend was wrong and the only reason to mention it to her was to make sure she doesn't do it again.

Bmuscial · 07-18-2007, 05:33 AM

I think it would of bothered me weather or not people were around. She is a very blunt person but come on. I haven't talked to her about it yet but i plan on it. She joined my gym last week and she has been hitting it up on a regular basis but then on the way home from old navy she killed a big mac and large fry. I mean i wanted to say hello what is the gym for if your still going to put that stuff in your body. I just don't know.

cnvh · 07-18-2007, 05:52 AM

I have a bumper sticker thumbtacked to the wall in my office: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," by Eleanor Roosevelt.

The point: sure, what your friend said was horribly unthoughtful. But who's the one who should be ashamed here? You or her??? You have no reason to feel embarrassed or humiliated-- YOU'RE doing great, right? It's your friend who seems to have the issues; if anything, you should feel embarrassed for HER.

Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. So what if anyone else in the dressing room heard her comment about your weight-- what difference is it to you WHAT they think??? Most of us go through life far too worried about what other people think of us, when in reality, all those other people are just thinking about THEMSELVES anyway and couldn't care less about some stranger they saw for 30 seconds in a dressing room.

I'm not trying to make excuses for your friend, because clearly she's an idiot.

But really, it's not worth getting so upset over-- if you're happy and confident with yourself, there's no reason to allow her comments to take anything away from that.

Polly D · 07-18-2007, 06:24 AM

CNVH is very wise and I agree. It reminds me of a song lyric I heard recently, "You know they're only what they think of you."

Bmuscial · 07-18-2007, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cnvh

I have a bumper sticker thumbtacked to the wall in my office: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," by Eleanor Roosevelt.

The point: sure, what your friend said was horribly unthoughtful. But who's the one who should be ashamed here? You or her??? You have no reason to feel embarrassed or humiliated-- YOU'RE doing great, right? It's your friend who seems to have the issues; if anything, you should feel embarrassed for HER.

Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. So what if anyone else in the dressing room heard her comment about your weight-- what difference is it to you WHAT they think??? Most of us go through life far too worried about what other people think of us, when in reality, all those other people are just thinking about THEMSELVES anyway and couldn't care less about some stranger they saw for 30 seconds in a dressing room.

I'm not trying to make excuses for your friend, because clearly she's an idiot.

But really, it's not worth getting so upset over-- if you're happy and confident with yourself, there's no reason to allow her comments to take anything away from that.

You are so right. I don't know why it bothered me but that seems to be something i need to work on. I am still dealing with having a low self esteem. I still feel like a fat girl. Sometimes i find myself not looking people in the eyes. I need to love me more and worry less about what people think. Gee where can i buy some of that.

fitbefore40 · 07-18-2007, 07:23 AM

Kasey - I have a friend that made the same comment - here is my situation and what I said.

My size 6 friend at work had always joked that if I ever got smaller than her she'd hate me. Well, it became half true - while she is flat chested and wears a small top - I'm still in mediums, but I'm a 2P or 4P on bottom. So . . . One day she brings up that when she weighs over 120, her pants get tight and asked how much i weighed - I said 130 - she said something like "there's no way you can weigh 130 and wear a 2" . . . then I simply said "well, you know the saying, muscle weighs more than fat - and I'm pure muscle, baby." No more comments from the peanut gallery!!

lealphachienne · 07-18-2007, 07:41 AM

Has anyone consider that your friend is simply amazed? I'm a size 2 at the same weight that I was a size 8 in my teens. Without asking her what she meant, we don't know how she saw the situation.

Regardless the real issue is how you feel about yourself. Your reaction is reflecting what you're feeling on the inside. Something to identify and then move on from.

Bmuscial · 07-18-2007, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitbefore40

Kasey - I have a friend that made the same comment - here is my situation and what I said.

My size 6 friend at work had always joked that if I ever got smaller than her she'd hate me. Well, it became half true - while she is flat chested and wears a small top - I'm still in mediums, but I'm a 2P or 4P on bottom. So . . . One day she brings up that when she weighs over 120, her pants get tight and asked how much i weighed - I said 130 - she said something like "there's no way you can weigh 130 and wear a 2" . . . then I simply said "well, you know the saying, muscle weighs more than fat - and I'm pure muscle, baby." No more comments from the peanut gallery!!

I totally felt the same way. I worked my ass off to get here and i don't think that 148 is that much weight. My bmi is normal and i feel great. Also i work for a plastic surgeon and he want's to do an around the world on me. He thinks i have 5-7 lbs of skin but i don't have a problem with my back side i think it looks great. Did you just have a Tummy tuck? I looked at your picture and i thought that is where i would like to be. Did you lose any real weight with the tt or can you even tell yet.

ACORNEY · 07-18-2007, 11:00 AM

I have to agree with everyone . She is so wrong, but who cares. You worked your butt off to get where you are today. I think your friend wants to be in your place, a size 4 to a 6. Good luck with your friend, i would just talk to her if she does it again. Best of luck

Bypassingme619 · 07-18-2007, 12:35 PM

Kasey first off if she makes you feel like that then maybe she really isn't your friend. I honestly think you should let her know how her comment made you feel and let her know you didn't appreciate that comment and if she continues with such uncomfortable comments you two will have to part ways. She hasn't been you "friend" for long so it shouldn't be no real loss. You deserve better, demand it.