The Negative Side of WLS - Page 3 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Claire-in-Texas · 08-13-2007, 03:53 PM

Is there something I'm missing? I'm not getting the WHY that causes the regret.

We hear the WHY from those who are totally happy with the decision. But now we have two people who have posted regrets but don't say why.

Perhaps it's a personal thing, but to be totally honest, I feel let down with a quick shot about regrets and would never do it again, without some idea of the background. Two people who have been wildly successful as far as weight loss is concerned, but have regrets? Didn't it do what it was designed to do?

I feel like criying.....

paige52 · 08-13-2007, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire-in-Texas

Is there something I'm missing? I'm not getting the WHY that causes the regret.

We hear the WHY from those who are totally happy with the decision. But now we have two people who have posted regrets but don't say why.

Perhaps it's a personal thing, but to be totally honest, I feel let down with a quick shot about regrets and would never do it again, without some idea of the background. Two people who have been wildly successful as far as weight loss is concerned, but have regrets? Didn't it do what it was designed to do?

I feel like criying.....

Don't be sad Claire....

I thought I was pretty clear about why I have regrets in many other posts which is why I didn't go through it all again here but I'm happy to go over again....

I have been very sucessful at the weight loss portion of the surgery... in fact so successful that I haven't been able to stop losing. I'm underweight now and totally excited because last week I didn't lose anything!

I have to eat constantly to stop the weight loss which presents a problem because I get sick every time i eat. I have such a sensitive system that I dump on everythign but straight meat and veggies... it has to be straight. The problem with that is most meats make me nauseous... eating in general makes me nauseous....

Then there's the low blood suger issue I've develope which can normally be handled through diet... but alas I can't really eat the foods I need to steady my blood sugar becasue I dump on everything but meat and veggies. Latte's seem to do the trick for me... I can drink them slowly all day, they keep the blood sugar to a point that I'm only slightly ligth-headed and they don't make me feel sick and they are 290 each so I'm getting calories that way.

Unfortunately 3 lattes' a day is in not what I have in mind for a life long diet!

Add to that the fact taht I've had diarreah for 11 months, still have abdominal pain and have to take large amount of prevacid and pepcid to keep reflux and constatnt stomach pain at bay..... GAs... we won't even talk about that...Extreme fatigue.... that's a hard one to deal with.

In all.... this surgery has sucked for me. My body is not adapting to the new plumbing, my bypass is too long, my stoma is enlarged, I have developed hypoglycemia... my labs stay good only because I take only 3x the recommended amounts of supplements and also add the B's, oils, Vit A, because I was getting night blindness.... and I eat even though it makes me feel like crap.... the list goes on but why bore everyone.

I know some on this board are willing to live with complications as part of the deal and if I had one or two maybe I would feel the same way... but I don't. it's too much for me to deal with, I can't even live a normal life, I felt a better when I was fat and had less problems. Of course I didn't look as good but honestly thats not my highest priority right now.

Just getting the hypoglycemia under control before it starts damaging organs is a priority.

That all said.... I think this surgery is good for others. My hubby had it knowing full well what I have gone through. With the exception of a few tummy aches when he forgets to take his prevacid... he's doing fantastic. He can eat more than I can at 8 weeks post-op, he drinks with no problems, his labs are perfect and he is lovign life.

That's the gist of the story... I'm not going to lie and say this is all wonderful cuz it's just not. I'm in a place right now where I'm afraid to make anymore decisions... do I reverse it and make things worse... how can I live like that? The unknown scares me enough that I'm willing to live like this for a while longer... how much longer is still the question. If I could get a absolute promise that no more damage woudl be done and I would be back to normal from the surgeon, I'd be on that table tomorrow morning putting in the IV myself!

I'm excited for you that your surgery works... for Gina, Lisa, Beth, and all the others that have found sweet success in this surgery and are living full wonderful thin lives...... I think it's absolutely wonderful!

Claire-in-Texas · 08-13-2007, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lealphachienne

The reality is that WLS isn't a magic bullet......for every success, there is someone that isn't doing well. Even with success comes a price. Very few of us make it through unscathed by the drastic decision we have made for ourselves. In the end, it's not the choice we make, it's how we deal with the outcome that makes a difference.

Marie, well said! You have verbalized exactly what is in my heart and mind.

Thank you.

paige52 · 08-13-2007, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire-in-Texas

Marie, well said! You have verbalized exactly what is in my heart and mind.

Thank you.

Very supportive Claire...

I guess those of us with "complications" should just be happy and thankful we "look good" now and shut up about the hell our lives have become.

Perfect.....

Corrine · 08-13-2007, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paige52

I guess those of us with "complications" should just be happy and thankful we "look good" now and shut up about the hell our lives have become.

Perfect.....

I don't agree with you Paige.

Everyone is (or should be) informed about potential risks of surgery but I know that I wasn't fully aware of the potential long term problems of WLS until I joined this forum

It's sobering to read of these issues and I for one am very grateful to you for sharing your story.

andet · 08-13-2007, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corrine

I don't agree with you Paige.

Everyone is (or should be) informed about potential risks of surgery but I know that I wasn't fully aware of the potential long term problems of WLS until I joined this forum

It's sobering to read of these issues and I for one am very grateful to you for sharing your story.

I am 99% certain, I was not told about all the other complications of WLS. I knew about death, leakage, but somehow I thought once you make it past surgery, it's all gravy.

It was not until visiting this and another forum that I was able to read about all the issues people live with perhaps forever.

That is when I started to regret the surgery. Because it's scary to think about what may happen. I know, I know, why worry about that which hasn't happened.

I do say, I admire deeply those like Paige, LQQKn, Van, Keith and others who sit here and congratulate people day after day and are going through trying times with their surgeries. Makes me ashamed to "regret."

OTH, I watch people in this town who have had the surgery and are living perfectly "normal" lives. Just today, I was at school and watching the coach of the girls volleyball team who had the surgery 3 years ago, I looked at her plate of food, it was a dinner. Chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, corn, bread, green beans, she ate some of everything. She looks great, and seems to have no issues.

So far, I am doing fine, eating is difficult only because our doctor's office has lost his nutritionist and right now I have no idea what I should be eating.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

Claire-in-Texas · 08-13-2007, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paige52

Very supportive Claire...

I guess those of us with "complications" should just be happy and thankful we "look good" now and shut up about the hell our lives have become.

Perfect.....

Paige, it was not my intention to infer anything of the kind. I was simply saying what was in my heart and mind as I read Marie's post.

It isn't about looking good for me, it's the way I feel. I am so terribly sorry that you had complications. Clearly this is not a good thing. I empathize. I have had many surgeries, and many complications. I have also survived a terminal illness. So I don't take complications lightly.

However, having said that, I do feel entitled to voice my own inner joy for all the good that has happened to me since I began my journey. I am grateful that for the first time in many years I am able to walk without aid, for example.

Paige, consider yourself validated.

LisaM · 08-14-2007, 06:22 AM

Time out, time out...

Paige--you may not realize it, but many of the people on this forum who have been complication free with our surgeries feel what I can only call "survivor's guilt." We care so deeply about you and others who struggle with losing too much weight, and feel varying ranges of guilt because we have gone through the process without major issues like those you have. It makes us empathize that much more with your pain, because you're living our nightmares...and, overall, by the way, doing so with grace and admirable restraint.

No one, including Grace, is taking you to task for how you are dealing with those complications. We simply want to help, and feel that we cannot, no matter how hard we try. I am so glad you are willing to share your pain, as I, too, went into this surgery ill-informed of any surgical complication but death. I did not know that my life could become a living hell of wanting, needing and trying to eat and being unable to do so. I appreciate your candor and wish I could alleviate your pain, as do all of us.

Claire-in-Texas · 08-14-2007, 07:53 AM

Paige, please accept my apology. When I posted the last couple of times I hadn't seen the story of your regret, which was posted above them. I had never seen your story, only your regret.

And I think Lisa is right - in my posts there was a combination of survivor guilt and frustration because I can't be of help.

Paige, I have gone through so much in my life of 67 years, odd and deadly health issues. And what I learned is that there are answers. Please be open to answers and an end to your suffering.

By example, I had reached a point in 1994, after being so sick for 9 years, and bedridden, that I gave up. I and my then husband moved from Florida to CT, where my children lived, so that I could be near them when I died. I gave them all of my treasures gathered over my life. For me, it was over. And I got to the point of accepting that my life was over.

And then my daughter made a suggestion, and pleaded with me to take her up on it, just this once, for her sake. Reluctantly, I did. And long (very long) story short, she saved my life with that suggestion. And I was re-born. That was in 1994.

I must tell you, though, that as thrilled as I am with my WLS progress (and being re-born once again), I hold a fear that, like you, I will not be able to eat enough. I still can't eat more than I did 6 weeks post op, and that doesn't seem right to me. So complications can still be there for me, and I'm aware of that. At the same time, I know that I will find the answers.

And I hope you do, too.

jefrach · 08-14-2007, 12:27 PM

I don't spend much time on this site anymore, and i don't usually go back to threads I have already read...I wasn't ignoring your request for more info-- I just didn't realize the request was out there.

I chose not to list the reasons why when i first wrote my opinion because it has been my experience that listing reasons why I regret, only invites responses from well-meaning folks that want to fix it for me so I can be a WLS believer like them.

I don't have any great profound reasons for why. I have been complication free for the past couple of months so it isn't that. I just know that when I ponder the questions 'am I glad I did it? would I do it again?' The answers to those questions are: NO-- I am not glad I did it, and no, I would not do it again.

Even if i chose to share the why's, that information should not be a basis for whether or not another person has WLS. Every case is completely different and with that comes different outcomes for each of us.

-Rachel