Is this me??? - ThinnerTimes

AlabamaChick · 05-28-2007, 07:05 PM

I know Carrie just posted a thread about how in her dreams she is still the heavy girl she used to be. Well, I'm sorta having a problem similar to this too, but it's when I'm awake and when I see a pic of myself. For instance....when I post in the forum, I see my avatar and I have to always look at it twice because the question runs through my head......"Who is that girl"? I do it EVERYTIME I post now. I don't see myself looking like that and I can't relate to her. It's really starting to bother me and it has really been on my mind today. I even called my son over to my computer to look at my avatar and asked him if that is what he sees in real life when he looks at me...and he said......"ummmmmmmmm yeah" and looked at me like I was crazy. Then I explained to him what I was feeling and he is such a good kid....he tried to make me understand that I AM that person. It's so hard to explain what I feel...it's almost like that person in that pic is an imposture of me. It makes me feel guilty like I'm fooling people to thinking I'm something I'm not, if that makes sense. Does that sound crazy? My son told me I need to just get used to looking at myself smaller because I still expect to see what I used to be.

EDITED: Maybe I should have put this in the emotional section since I feel I am crazy! LOL

LyndasRoom · 05-28-2007, 07:09 PM

I am having the same problem Trina....I am wearing a top from pre op today, it's one of my favorites, I'm SWIMMING in it, and know I'll have to give it up...or maybe I'll keep it for my 'before show'...at any rate, I know what you mean about relating to yourself in a new way...

AlabamaChick · 05-28-2007, 07:15 PM

Lynda, GET RID OF THAT SHIRT g'friend! ROFL You are so funny. I would NEVER put on something I wore last year. But funny thing is.....I still have them hanging in my closet like I may need to wear them again. UGH!

chilmoe · 05-28-2007, 07:23 PM

trina i know how you feel girlie

at xmas time, i was near tears and freaking out when my sister sent our family photos by email to me, i couldnt find me in them and thought someone had cut me out of the photos - then i realized my outfit was in the photo and OMG that it was me wearing it

- so silly i know, but i couldnt believe that was me, i find myself staring at my progress photos alot cuz i cant believe its me

and hey get rid of those clothes now, you will not need them, get that out of your head - okay, done yelling at you - i have NO clothes of the past me, i wont ever be that size again, i would rather spend 6 hours a day in the gym that be that size, heck i would move to the gym if i had to just to not go back to that size!

love you trina

LisaM · 05-28-2007, 07:36 PM

Nope, you ain't crazy. Or maybe we both are. This is why my picture was in profile for so long. I'm having a hard time still with the avatar that I put up - it doesn't feel like me...I thought I was the only one.

MiladyB · 05-28-2007, 07:48 PM

Nope, definitely not the only one, Trina....I feel EXACTLY the same way. I look at my most recent pictures and I don't recognize myself. I was totally shocked when I loaded them on to the computer after my daughter took them. I still keep looking at them and my avatar and I don't recognize the person I'm looking at as me.

Nope...you are in good company.

LisaBoston · 05-28-2007, 08:07 PM

You are not alone by any means...why our head plays such silly games is beyond me.

I still have many moments where I don't know who I am. I see the picture, know its me, but don't see what others see. (Does that make sense?) I see more imperfections than I did as MO. I know its gonna take time, but I am determined to figure this all out.

In so many ways I feel so different than before, but one of them is not how I see myself, I am the same person...so why does everyone in my town make such a big deal about it.

Then........a day or so later I feel fine about it, want my picture taken, post it here and feel pretty good. Ok, I am crazy...will stop typing!

RNY4me · 05-28-2007, 09:02 PM

Trina, if I say I completely understand what you are saying and feeling - does that mean I might be crazy too??!!

But seriously, our minds are just so hard to convince, it seems. Maybe it's like that weird optical illusion that happens after we stare at something for a long time, then we look away but we still see it. We are so used to seeing ourselves a certain way, we have changed, but we don't see the new us. We see the old us. Like it's burned into our brains. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

PS - Of course, we don't have that problem when we look at others who are changing. I see an amazing transformation with each new picture you share. But I always see you, that beautiful smile is so absolutely 'you' in every picture I look at. Your kind, caring, loving soul always shines through. Yes, I am quite aware that the 'wrapping paper' has changed, but the gift inside is still as special as ever!

AlabamaChick · 05-28-2007, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNY4me

PS - Of course, we don't have that problem when we look at others who are changing. I see an amazing transformation with each new picture you share. But I always see you, that beautiful smile is so absolutely 'you' in every picture I look at. Your kind, caring, loving soul always shines through. Yes, I am quite aware that the 'wrapping paper' has changed, but the gift inside is still as special as ever!

Awwwww, how did you know today is an emotional day for me? Now you have me crying..... I don't know what is wrong with me today. Thank you, that was so sweet of you to say!

lealphachienne · 05-28-2007, 09:17 PM

Last year I freaked out when I passed a mirror and saw a stranger in my home!.......then I realized it was just me in the mirror