Just when you think all is said and done, there is STILL one more thing to be said (and not necessarily done!)
The registration at the hospital when very smooth, no problems, and no surprises. Just a bit of a reality check. The nurse asked if I have “advanced directives”, living will, if I wanted a priest. I told her “if your trying to scare me, your doing a very good job!” She assured me these questions are standard – even if one had a small cyst on their hand for outpatient surgery. I feel better about it, but it was a bit un-nerving. I was then sent to the cardio unit to receive my “breathing exerciser.” They explained why I need this, and told to bring it with me, as I will be using it every hour on the hour after surgery – I asked if I could just leave it here, she said “no, you need to practice.” C'mon, I’m just having surgery - I’m not here to learn to give gold medal hummers!
Then I saw the surgeon for my last pre-op check. Lo and behold I had managed to lose another 2 pounds! The one nurse there scolded me for not bringing a family member or another “adult” with me as they specified on the pre-op letter. Hey, my wife couldn’t get away (not with the VP of west coast operations at her site), and my son had finals. She said that people lie to their families about this. I just said whatever.
When I met with the surgeon, he told me the procedure will take about an hour, and depending if I balloon up with gas, he may keep me for a second night. Fine with me, I’ve got nothing better to do. At least I don’t have to worry about the hospital food – BECAUSE I CAN’T EAT IT ANYWAY! As we were talking, he shared with me a few stories of his patients who didn’t follow guidelines, and started eating solid food after coming home from the hospital. I think the one about the guy who ruptured his pouch having steak and baked potato shocked me the most.
He also changed my directions, and need to go on the liquid diet on Monday only (it was 3 days). I have this wonderful concoction called Magnesium Citrate I have to drink Monday afternoon. I was advised it will go down easier if it’s cold (oh great, just what I need, something as tasty as the Barium Swallow.) I couldn't even get my son or anyone to share it with – gee, wonder why?!
So what did I do when I got home? Pizza and beer baby! No, I didn’t over-do it, a couple slices and a bottle of San Miguel (Philippine brand). It was sooo good! I felt guilty, but hey, I deserve at least one “bad boy moment.” I checked my email and got a message from a friend who is very fatalistic. I didn’t read it all – I don’t need that – especially right now.
Funny how reality sets in. I had a bad night, thinking about the surgery, and what all this is going to mean. Then, as if right on que – I started questioning myself if I’m doing the right thing, all sorts of “What-If’s” and other “stuff.” I’m okay, I know everything will go fine. As shocking as this may sound, I discovered I’m “normal.” (And I’ve worked so hard not to be!)
So there you have it. The last of my appointments before the “Big Day” on Tuesday.
Oh, and our son (the nut) went to the midnight showing of Pirates with a group of friends. He got home as I was getting up this morning!
Do I Get Fries With That?
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