This is why I am telling few people... - ThinnerTimes

LORIL · 05-01-2007, 07:20 AM

that I am having my surgery. I made the decision to tell only my supervisor and one close friend at work, my family (husband, mother, brothers, and sons), and two close friends who knew that I was trying to get approved for this a year ago.....

My moms first reaction was "you don't need that surgery." True, I am a lower BMI (39), but I have issues with sleep apnea and high blood pressure. The next thing my mom said was that she knew several people who had the surgery and a year later had gained back all their weight. I am not saying that can't happen, and I know this is a lifetime change and commitment, but the people that I know who had this surgery are doing very well with it.

So, has anyone else opted to not tell the world you were having the surgery? I get so frustrated with people's comments, and I guess my biggest reason is I do not want to be scrutinized after the surgery with what I am eating.

This irritates me.

Kevin · 05-01-2007, 07:29 AM

I told only those who I knew would find out or who I was close to. You have to remember you will be losing weight at a very fast rate. People may start to worry about you if they dont know whats up. Otherwise I would say just tell whoever your comfortable with.

Nette72 · 05-01-2007, 07:47 AM

I have only told my daycare provider and one coworker..(besides my husband and the people I have met at meetings and online)

I just can't go through telling my family yet. My husband and I talked about it and both agreed we weren't going to tell anyone.. Maybe later but right now it just wouldn't be good, my family isn't very supportive (sisters and step-dad).

Each person has to handle this in their own way. You are the one who has to deal with their comments regardless if they are supportive or not. It could be people just don't understand the procedure and what brought you to make this decision, you may need to educate them some.

It is your decision, make sure you are comfortable with your decision.

Oh and again welcome to this group...

Ronette

Dyann · 05-01-2007, 09:51 AM

I started off not telling many people. As time went on, I found that I was telling complete strangers and didn't care what anyone thought. Once you become comfortable with your progress and you can eat more normal food, it will sit better with you.

JenBear7 · 05-01-2007, 10:01 AM

I tell people I dont know. Everyone knows someone that knows someone that failed... I feel its important to educate people that not all of us fail. That not all of us have fatal complications but that there are very real complications. My mother was not a big supporter of the surgery. I give her kudos for taking the time to come read this board.. see some of the successes.. and then she did a little research herself. Know what she found out? That more people die from MO related issues, than with the surgery. Turned her around instantly and she is now my biggest supporter.

on that note.. I totally think its a personal decision. If you dont want to tell people, you dont have to. Its your body, your life.. cant get much more personal than that!

momto4 · 05-01-2007, 10:17 AM

I told those in my family leading up to the surgery ~ BUt AFTER my decision ws made... you do not need negative feedback at this point... BUT, please remember that your family loves you no matter what your weight ~they may not see the need ~ or it may be clouded by the dangers... in the end I hope they will support your decision as mine did. Now that the surgery is over ~ i have no problem talking about it !! Do what feels best to you ~ it is your body ~ your decision

fitbefore40 · 05-01-2007, 10:48 AM

Other than my husband, I only told my supervisor and my daycare provider - as I was planning the surgery. 3 days before, I told 2 of my friends . . . b/c I was already at the point of no return. I didn't want to hear the negative stuff. . . and it worked well for me.

Polly D · 05-01-2007, 11:55 AM

I have only told my closest friends, DH, and my therapist. My family of origin can be really negative, so I'm still considering when to tell them but it won't be before I've decided for myself.

I'm the type to blab right away if I'm pregnant, but I'm keeping this one from the world in general at least until it's over.

Rachel · 05-01-2007, 03:32 PM

I told only my mom, dad, brother, 2 ladies at church and my husband. Other than that I kept it to myself. I knew there would be a lot of negativity from people and I just didn't want to have to deal with that. I did however tell most people that I had been strict dieting and when they have asked how I have lost the weight I truthfully tell them I eat small portions, limit fat and sugar intake and have been just paying real close attention to everything that goes in my mouth.

I may tell them at some point, or I may not. Do what feels right for you!

LORIL · 05-01-2007, 04:36 PM

It is nice to get so many responses, thank you each and every one. So now my dilemma about work is: I want few people to know I am gone for this. I was just off work for 6 weeks - October to December for a hysterectomy. Man was I bummed when I had to have that surgery, but got denied for THIS one. Oh well, past history now.

So, what do I tell people when I am going to be gone 2 weeks? I will have to lie, and I am not a very good liar. I could say I was going on vacation for 2 weeks, but I really really want to use my sick leave this time. I had to use 3 weeks of vacation for my other surgery because it was "use or lose."

Some co-workers will KNOW if I am taking sick leave due to the software system we use. I could lie and tell them it is my gallbladder, but many people know I already had that out.

Any feasible ideas?

Thanks
Lori