unwanted opinions.... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

moosie · 04-04-2007, 10:31 AM

I have great support system for the most part but I'm learning real quick to not tell anyone I'm not sure about. If one more person tells me about a friend or family member that is suffering horrbile consequences of the surgery or that so-so died I'm going to scream. Why do people do this?
I remember it happening when I was pg. All the labor horror stories were awful.
I'm getting a lot more discouragement than encouragment from the general population. My family is very supportive though.
I've heard about people losing weight and being extremely weak, or not being able to stop losing. I've heard about death. I think I've heard it all.
So, how do you deal with these people.
And BTW, most of these people are healthy and within or close to a healthy weight range and have no idea what morbidly obese feels like.

Miss Kitty · 04-04-2007, 10:37 AM

Yep, you have to be selective with whom you choose to tell! The best advice I got was from a WLS surgery patient. He said if people start asking how you are losing weight and start questioning you, just say "Per drs orders, I'm on a strict diet and excercise program." If they want more details, as most people do---then just say you are on a high protein, low carb, and fresh fruits and veggies program. It's the truth!

It's true huh? It's just like being pregnant and having a stranger touch your belly in the produce aisle!!

Baron Patrick · 04-04-2007, 10:39 AM

Hi Moosie;

That's the problem - people don't know, or are seriously misinformed. This has happened to virtually everyone here on the forum, and the best way to combat this is to either not tell anyone, or become as educated as possible about weight loss surgery.

It's great you have a good support system with your family, and that's the important thing - you have positive support. Keep your focus on the support and you will do fine.

It's your health. If others don't understand - it's their problem.

Oh and by the way, WELCOME - glad to have you with us!

bloomer001 · 04-04-2007, 10:49 AM

I deal with it one of two ways, and I can usually tell which one I need to use pretty quickly.

As Pat said, most people are either mis-informed or uneducated about the surgery or are listening to the people behind them at the grocery store line who are repeating something they read on the internet

My 2 ways:
1. Educate the person I am talking to, about the surgery itself, about the health benefits to me, and about the health issues if I didn't have surgery
2. Smile and think in my head "Shut up you skinny little thing and go eat a Twinkie for goodness sakes"

As I said, you can usually tell in the first minute or 2 which strategy you need to use.

Good luck, remember you have a supportive family and all of us here, so don't worry about what they think!

MILA · 04-04-2007, 11:10 AM

Whenever you encounter IGNORANT, RUDE people just ignore them - remember: you are doing this for YOU - getting someone else's approval or validation is pointless - just focus on what you need to do to fix you.

good luck

lealphachienne · 04-04-2007, 11:12 AM

Hmmm...tell them about all the great people you have met that are doing well and are successful...there are hundreds out there....we just don't scream it out there....humans prefer to bich about what went wrong or blame their cicumstances rather than take responsibilty fo their issues.

Yes, the reality is that WLS has it's risks. The reality is being MO has it's risks. The reality is, life is risky! I rather take the best gamblei have at life and see what happens.

I haven't died, I haven't gained the weight back, I can eat what ever I want in moderation, I can enjoy whatever life has to offer in all it's wonder, sadness, and joys!

mauldinmama · 04-04-2007, 11:20 AM

Marie....
Thanks for posting that is so cool................I hope mine journey goes as well....
YOU have a great outlook on life.....

Baron Patrick · 04-04-2007, 11:32 AM

Thought you would like to know what company your in with weight loss surgery!

I'd like to see people tell them they took the "easy way" out!

Gastric Bypass – Roux-N-Y

Carlie Wilson – Daughter of Beach Boy Brian Wilson
Al Roker – Today Show
Anne Rice – Author “Interview With The Vampire”

Vertical Banded Gastroplasty (VBG) - Fobi Pouch

Randy Jackson – American Idol
Rosanne Bar – Comedian / TV talk show host
Etta James – Legendary Blue’s Singer

Lap Band

Khaliah Ali – Fashion Designer, Daughter of Muhammad Ali
Brian Dennehy – Actor
Sharon Osbourne – Wife of rocker Ozzy Osbourne
Ann Wilson – Lead singer “The Hearts"

Dyann · 04-04-2007, 11:53 AM

Tell them that studies show in an age matched population, those who had the surgery vs. those who remained MO outlived them by 12-16 years.

Everyone knows someone...it is 6 degrees of GBP surgery separation.

I had the opposite. Strangers were supportive and family questioned every move. If they were worth it to me, I would educate them. If they were not worth my time, I was a bit more stern in my words and walked away.

JenBear7 · 04-04-2007, 11:56 AM

I know the bennys and down side of the surgery. I figure I am the only one I have to impress lol. I tell everyone what I am going to do. Im PROUD of me for it... and I have not run into any negativity. Everyone is curious.. and yah I have heard a couple so and so knows someone that had an aunt who went to a hairdresser with Kevin Bacon... who died from the surgery.. I always say.. Well.. My family is notorious for dying from Heart attacks.. and they are all MO.. so.. I'll take my chances. 2 out of 100.. or 90 out of 100.. hmmm... easy choice!