Question or QueenB - ThinnerTimes

Squishy · 03-29-2007, 08:00 PM

Hello QueenB!

This question is kind of coming out of the blue, so I hope that it is OK that I ask you about this...

I read a post from Baron Patrick tonight (that was very thought-provoking by the way) and at the bottom of the screen, there was a box that said similar threads." I clicked on a post that you made on 09/30/2004; three years ago. In that post you wrote about the resistance from one of your health care providers and others and that, based on that, you were having doubts about whether you should have wls. I am posting a copy of your original message below. (It's interesting that this forum is like a time capsule. It's kind of cool that a person can look back and see what he or she was feeling three years ago.)

My question is: If you read your post again, what would you tell someone like me who is in process of getting approval, and getting resistance from well-meaning friends and medical professionals? If you could go back to that moment in 2004, knowing what you know now, what would you tell that physical therapist?

Thank you in advance for your response. If this is too personal, please forgive me.

Sincerely,
-Mike-

Your post was titled "Totally against it...." Here it is:
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My physical therapist is totally against me having surgery. He says he actually has patients in PT for pain from WLS. I am not discouraged but he is adamant that I am not a candidate Obviously I can't count on him for a letter of recommendation. I have had so much negative feed back that I sometimes wonder if I am wrong for wanting this. I doubt that the years and years of failed diets were enough, like maybe I wasn't trying hard enough because there are so many out there who seem to think I can just do it on my own. What have I been doing wrong and what do they know that I don't? I still haven't heard anything from my ins about the referral although my PT referral went through the day they called on Friday, how long should I wait until I call to see where things stand?

Ugh, I thought it would be such a positive step once I got a Dr. behind me but there are just as many people trying to talk me out of it than there are supporting me.

mauldinmama · 03-29-2007, 08:29 PM

5 years ago in January 02 I had a heart attack at 36...over the last 5 years my weight has stayed the same despite everything I have tried. I did have a few more heart attacks and not once did my cardio doc suggest WLS. As a matter of fact they went out of there way to tell me when I was complaining of not losing any weight that I should expect to lose one lb a month given my history age and metabolism....WTH I didn't accept that and so I started the wls surgery journey with the help of my pcp who offered some resistance until I wrote her a heart felt letter "of the story of my life."

Lastly my insurance company approved me and my cardio doc got in my way again ordering more test...he cost me a week delay in my surgery I am having it 4/17 instead of 4/10.

I might not have the history or stories of others but I can tell you for me it was worth the fight and I am not through YET. i PROMISE AFTER my one year I am on my way to PS....

So I wish you the best and for every road block that was put up....I am so glad I didn't give in or UP! 18 days to go!

bloomer001 · 03-29-2007, 08:50 PM

Hi Mike, I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you, but I just wanted to tell you, nothing it too personal on this board!

I talk about things and feelings here that I would never even tell my best friend. After all we have all been through that is the great thing about this place, you can say anything, someone will understand and everyone will be there to help you!

bridgetgirl · 03-29-2007, 11:02 PM

QueenB aka Brittany doesnt come here too much anymore, you might be best off trying to send her an email. She's a sweetheart... a busy one at that! But there maybe other people here with the same story that can help.

Welcome to the board buddy!

Squishy · 03-30-2007, 06:01 AM

Good Morning,
Thank you all for the responses! I may take your advice and drop her an email. I also appreciate the reminder that I need to own my health and not let someone else's opinion get in the way. It is nice to get the continual reinforcement from people on this board that it is ok to ask uncomfortable questions.

I had not told anybody at work about my plan, because I really did not want to hear everybody's opinions, diet tips, etc. I told my boss last week, because he was trying to plan some meetings and I was trying to avoid locking into dates because I am awaiting insurance approval and hoping to set a surgery date. I felt I needed to tell him why I was being evasive about it.

His reaction was complete shock. He said that the fact that I had been able to lose weight in the past proved that I did not need this procedure. I ended up educating him about the procedure and by the time we were done, he was supportive.

I know when I tell my closest friends there will be similar reactions. I am considering calling them together at once, maybe a little party or something and explaining it them all at once and asking for their support. I know they will support me in this once they understand and I'm thinking this might be easier if I explain it to everyone at once and answer all their concerns together. Has anyone tried that?

Thanks again!
-Mike-

mauldinmama · 03-30-2007, 08:37 AM

Mike that is admirable! I have told a small circle and my family does know because I have a relative who had this surgery in 12/05...
But 4 months ago I wanted everyone to know because I was so excited and I couldn't wait....I would throw it in a conversation every chance I got to strangers hoping to hint there was a way out.....
BUT as my date gets closer my feeling are changing and now I am not sure I want anyone else to know!
This may sound weird but the closer I get the less I want to talk about it...

kwiktrip · 03-30-2007, 10:26 AM

Leesa,

I Know What You Mean About Not Wanting To Talk About It . I Felt The Same Way. My Thing Was I Didnt Want Anyone To Try And Talk Me Out Of Doing This . My Husband Said Something About It , Like He Didnt Understand Why I Neded To Go Through This Surgery When I Didnt Try Hard Enough At Dieting. Well Duh Of Course I Didnt , Cuz I Was An Addict !!!! For Food. And By Altering My Body I Had No Other Choice But To Only Put Healthy Thgs Into My Body. And Now That I Am Losing Weight It Feels So Incredible . I M Excited For You Leesa . And Everyone Else Who Is Going To Go Through This Journey. And Because I Feel Good I Dont Want To Gain The Weight Back , Therefore I Will Be Carefull To Maintain My Goal Weight Once I Get There .

mauldinmama · 03-30-2007, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwiktrip

Leesa,

I Know What You Mean About Not Wanting To Talk About It . I Felt The Same Way. My Thing Was I Didnt Want Anyone To Try And Talk Me Out Of Doing This . My Husband Said Something About It , Like He Didnt Understand Why I Neded To Go Through This Surgery When I Didnt Try Hard Enough At Dieting. Well Duh Of Course I Didnt , Cuz I Was An Addict !!!! For Food. And By Altering My Body I Had No Other Choice But To Only Put Healthy Thgs Into My Body. And Now That I Am Losing Weight It Feels So Incredible . I M Excited For You Leesa . And Everyone Else Who Is Going To Go Through This Journey. And Because I Feel Good I Dont Want To Gain The Weight Back , Therefore I Will Be Carefull To Maintain My Goal Weight Once I Get There .

Yea...my husband said a dumb remark like that too....at first I yelled at him....then I pouted and sulked...then I started questioning was he right....but like you said duh I am addicted to food...but sometimes I still question did I try hard enough.

mauldinmama · 03-30-2007, 10:40 AM

If we got off your subject....but it really helped me get some feelings out....for that I thank you!