The Maple Bar and the Muffin Top - ThinnerTimes

eyesthatkissu · 02-01-2007, 10:17 AM

Why does my world... revolve around pastry!!! The other day we took my car to the car wash. I love this car wash... always have... they give free donuts and coffee while you are waiting! So I am getting my coffee and a cup for Chris when I look down and see the HUGE bin of donuts. I open it up to grab a cream filled demon for Chris. He loves those things. And then I see it.... cozied up in the corner. Snuggled up among chocolate sprinkles and coconut frosting. A long, thick, fluffy, decadently sweet maple bar. I'm staring at it. "Hello old friend. How have you been? I haven't seen you in 15 months. You look smashing. Where are your siblings? Last time I visited you I enjoyed the company of all three of you. Are you all alone? Well isn't it funny that these days I could only visit with one of you And here you are... all lonely and feeling neglected." I must have stood there, moth agape and slightly drooling for the better part of 5 minutes. Then Napolean (my lil pouch) grumbled at me, "If you even think about letting that evil doer visit with me I will surely have a fit. I will stomp my feet, and punch you in the gut, and send you a curse of shakes and fever! You may not think so now, but I promise you this is not a battle you will win!" I looked longingly again at my old friend.... and then there it was... set to the side as so many healthy things are... a whole grain bagel. I swear it started to whisper my name. I looked back and forth for a moment longer. Just then, Chris approached... grinning from ear to ear when he saw his demon in my hand. "Thanks babe!" He puts his arm around me and gives me a little squeeze at my waist. Except his hand landed on my muffin top. That area of chub and excess skin that constantly finds it way to the top of my jeans and spills over. As he stood there, groping my muffin top, I looked once again at that maple bar. The one that I would have eaten a year and a half ago, plus two more. And quickly grabbed the lone bagel. Thank goodness.... thank goodness for muffin tops.... they remind us not to eat the maple bars!

Dyann · 02-01-2007, 10:36 AM

You need to write childrens books. I was riveted by the story.
I love the internal dialog you had. It is funny about the food descriptives.
Scary thing is that high waisted jeans are coming back in. You know the ones that make your ass look like it is 8 feet tall. No muffin top in those, but long ass is a problem.
Thanks for sharing

Deb2 · 02-01-2007, 10:55 AM

Robin,

Artfully written! I think you have a career in the making...

This is a story to which anyone on the forum can relate. Keep 'em comming, girl--before you know it, you'll have a book!

JenBear7 · 02-01-2007, 01:18 PM

Sat here laughing.. when you got to the muffin top.. I am SURE you dont find the muffin top funny.. but.. the way you told that was fantastic! LOL.. thanks for sharing!

coptergirl · 02-01-2007, 01:24 PM

This was a wonderful read!!! I know you shared a very intimate moment with us that you had with a dear old friend, but it, too had me riveted as I can relate every single day to the internal conversation...and the damed muffin top. Thanks, sweetie!!

BethBaugh · 02-01-2007, 02:18 PM

Okay I knew what a muffin top was but opened the thread just because I had no idea what body part was referred to as a maple bar. Seriously ! I am so glad you shared that with us. I find that weigh in with the doc has helped me stay away from things. Soon it will be down to once a year though. I need an accountability partner. Although the maple bar would drop kick me into the nearest bathroom I still get the munchies every cycle. I'm so glad the "snack" cabinet is cleaned out and will stay that way.

Beth B. in TN

rainrain · 02-01-2007, 04:22 PM

What a great story and may I commend you on your strong will power...muffy or not. It was you who said no to junk and yes to health!!!

Good job lovely one!!!

Also, may I add, that while I have had many a triumph over a previous menace, the one time recently I gave in to the donut. First time in over 2 years, I paid a heavy price!!! Good to know the puch is still paying its rent!!!
I won't be doing that again, BTW, it was a glazed twist that captured my weakness!!!

Hunnyblonde · 02-01-2007, 06:07 PM

Oh God! How naive I am! I didn't even know the pooch was called a muffin top and I was thinking a maple wood bar with some kind of new fangled top like a muffin!

It was an awesome story and one I'm sure I'll be relating to a lot in my future! Thanks Robin for the education and the story!

bridgetgirl · 02-01-2007, 06:49 PM

Muffin is cute though.... mine looks like uncooked dough! Just spilling and drooping out all over the place!

eyesthatkissu · 02-01-2007, 09:08 PM

LOL... you all are so funny. I find myself naming all kinds of my parts... or myself as a whole... like I always say I look like Grimmace from Ronald McDonald!! Funny stuff!