I had this surgery because I injured my back so bad I can no longer work, and the weight came piling on due to not being able to be as active as I used to be. I thought that if I took 100 lbs off my poor back I would have a better quality of life and maybe not have pain 24/7.
Unfortunately for me, it appears I made a poor choice. I have had pretty much every complication in the book, I have lost way too much weight, and have had some real ugly stuff to wade through. Small bowel obstruction (surgery), small bowel perforation (more surgery) peritonitis, 4 unit GI bleed, and the most recent fun time was the grand mal seizure I had at a doctor's office last week because my antidepressant dose is too high for my body's size.
Now I can't drive until a neurologist does an EEG on me and determines if I'm likely to ever do this again.
I am sick of the problems, I am sick of the idea that even with all the complications and problems that this was a good idea, better to be thin and have seizures than to be overweight and in reasonable health. I have to say I'm pretty sorry I had the surgery, now my life is ruled by a wide spot in my esophagus, and my back still hurts. I don't think I can honestly recommend people have this surgery. Maybe peeps just need to think beyond the size stuff and contemplate if the surgery is really what is needed or if other life changes should be made instead.
My fear is that I've signed my death certificate and it's just taking awhile to die. My body isn't working right, I am having problem after problem--I was in better shape at 232 lbs! Yeah, it's "great" to wear a size 2--I'll have a really good looking corpse. Oh yeah, my depression is actually worse than it was when I was fat, and now I can't even take my Welbutrin to help my head.
I don't think I would have listened to anyone saying these things before the surgery, and I don't have expectations that anyone would listen now, but if you haven't had the surgery yet, THINK REALLY HARD to determine if it's what you want, even if you're sure. It can bring it's own demons with it, and those demons just get piled on top of existing demons.
I don't feel like I am capable of rational expression, and for that I apoogize. It's just freakin scary as hell to be in such bad health, and to know I brought it on myself makes me sad. I miss strong, capable Donna.
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