Some questions for everyone... - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Zenomia · 01-16-2007, 10:30 AM

Everyone who has read my posts since the beginning know why I had this surgery. That wasn't the important point in Robins question for me. For me, it was asking myself if I was ready to give up my "FAT, LAZY" persona that I had adopted from the views of others and myself. Here I am almost 100#'s smaller than that 'other' person. I am no longer in Large or Women's sizes. I shop in the Juniors section...yet I still have that "FAT, LAZY" mentality in my head. I look at cookies I have baked for the kids and think...I could eat one. But that Fat mentality demon lies to me and says, mmm, but their sooo good, eat another, and another...and down that slippery slope I fall. Here I am 8 months out and still trying to get a handle on the demons that led me to the surgery in the first place. Why does that other person have such a hold on me? Why can't I just chuck her like I did the weight? Why do I still cringe when walking by a mirror? These are the things I ask myself....am I ready yet to get rid of my Fat self...or I am clinging to her like a security blanket?

LyndasRoom · 01-16-2007, 10:35 AM

OK~~~ brutal honesty...when society tells you you're a fat slob/invisible/not worth air...you start to believe it. Movies, television, magazines project an ideal as thin...or 'normal'. Big people are not portrayed in the biggest light/fat slobs, lazy, etc...we internalize...lose confidence...put our focus elsewhere. I became about 4th in my life...hubby, child, job, me....how sad now that I see it in black and white. I NOW realize that I am more important in the equation. I'm not to the point of self confidence you, Robin, or Dr. Dyann have discovered...I still have a loooong road ahead of me. But I make better choices daily (stumbling now and then, I'm human)...and that's a head start on a long and healthy life.
ETA-Zen, I think the "fat chick" will live in us forever...she will keep us humble --she will try to live again...it is our lot to fight that...I struggle with that too.

Danniboi · 01-16-2007, 10:39 AM

Hello Ladies...

Sorry for not checking in more frequently. I am alive and well and feeling great. Why did I have surgery? Because I am a vain middle aged man who felt invisible. That, and I guess the diabetis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and bad knees ankles and back. Over simplified? Perhaps, but I think there are a myriad of different factors we take into consideration when we allow someone to re-route our innards huh?

What has the surgery done for me? Besides saving me from a slow death, it has given me the enregy and confidence to achieve all the things I've ever wanted to. The changes have been radical and sometimes painful both physically and emotionally but all in all they have been worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Hope all of you are well and continuing to blessed in this new year. I'll be better about posting.

Cheers!

eyesthatkissu · 01-16-2007, 11:15 AM

Wow Zen... how true is that and Lynda too.... we are so used to having our weight be our identity it's hard to dig deep and find out who we really are. It's an ongoing process. And we all fight those demons on a daily basis. I still call myself fat, I still pick out all my flaws and concentrate on them instead of my successes. I still have to tell myself everyday that I am worth it. I will have to do it everyday... and I'm okay with that.

SDphotogrl99 · 01-16-2007, 11:17 AM

I did it because I was scared to die. I was 24 and almost 400 pounds. I could not do anything without getting tired. My real turning point was when I was in Vegas with Chad. Chad wanted to walk the strip and go into every hotel and check them out. It sounded like a great idea until we started walking. I could not make it. My legs were killing me and I could not walk and talk because I was so tired. I was so mad at myself. Here I was a young girl and I could not walk a few blocks. I called Dr Wittgrove the day after I got back. I knew I had to change my life and I could not do it alone. This has been the best thing I have ever done. I feel like I have a new life and I am ready to walk the strip again and out walk Chad!

Zenomia · 01-16-2007, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDphotogrl99

I feel like I have a new life and I am ready to walk the strip again and out walk Chad!

Next time you do walk the Strip with Chad, be sure to STRUT! You deserve it Holly!! Hold your head up, and walk away from that girl that couldn't!! Hell, RUN!!!

Gina in WI · 01-16-2007, 12:10 PM

The reasons I had the surgery were:

Some health issues: HBP, very high for 10 years and peaking the last 2 years, Sleep Apnea, Asthma

I'm a single parent with no family support, my son has no relationship with his dad so if something happened to me where would he go? He's only almost 5.
My son also started talking about fat people. I couldn't believe it because I didn't raise him this way! It's hurtful. He's very young though. I want him to be healthy and he's on a healthy journey with me also. He's a bit of a chubber. almost 60lbs! The maddess has got to stop early on before its too late.

I reached my high weight that I did NOT want to go over and FAT seems ugly to people... someone I was dating, I know loves skinny girls... I just feel it... he never has said one bad thing about me... good for him because I'd remember that but in a perfect world to me thats what a man wants and I don't want to be alone forever!

Also just like alcoholics or drug addicts it's not always easy to acomplish on your own. Many people have suceeded with a 12-Step Program and I was hoping the stomache limitation, support groups and EXTRA SUPPORT would pull me through and make me accountable to meet my goal.

That's why I did it.

Dyann · 01-16-2007, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LyndasRoom

I'm not to the point of self confidence you, Robin, or Dr. Dyann have discovered...I still have a loooong road ahead of me. ETA-Zen, I think the "fat chick" will live in us forever...she will keep us humble --she will try to live again...it is our lot to fight that...I struggle with that too.

That fat chick still lives in there. The confidence/fat chick rollercoaster is alive and well. It is sort of like the rollercoaster of the weight loss...It is a ton of loss or I am going to stop losing. Some days I still look in the mirror and see the fat chick. Others I think I am faboo. I would love a happy medium.

I think a bit of not putting ourselves on the list of priorities pre op was this for me. I liked food and hated to work out. So by concentrating on everyone else, it gave me license to pig out. I am glad I am a nurturing person, but it enabled me to indulge in things that were horrible for me. It was an excuse to eat Mc Donalds because I was too busy being superwoman. REality is I wanted the McDonalds and the excuses were noble causes which justified it up to the point of MO when you say EEEEEKKKK all of a sudden.

gottaloseit · 01-16-2007, 01:24 PM

P.S. Robin, I love your new picture.

fitbefore40 · 01-16-2007, 02:07 PM

I've always been one to say that I had surgery b/c I didn't want my son to go to school in the first time (Aug 06) and have the fattest mom there . . . but it wasn't about him as much as I didn't want to BE the fattest mom there. I guess I've always known that I had this surgery for me, but I didn't want to admit it - like it makes me too selfish or something.

I was never the "fat and lazy" one - I was the one that everyone marveled over b/c I did so much physical activity and still weighed over 250 . . . yeah, that's something to be proud of . . . I can't believe how many 5Ks that I ran while over 200 pounds.

Now, I have the confidence probablem - over-confidence. Everytime I buy clothes, I have to tell everyone that I've lost over 100 pounds . . . I guess it's b/c I don't see myself as losing that much weight and I need strangers to reassure me that I've lost a lot . . . or that I look skinny now. I don't think I do and I can wear any size 6 off the rack and some size 4s, but that doesn't really seem skinny or small to me .. . Now size 2, that seems small. Yeah, I know I have issues. I hoping the longer I'm post op, the more I'll figure out about myself.