What on earth is going on around here? - Page 3 - ThinnerTimes

Duckie · 01-13-2007, 04:16 PM

I think I just need some sleep. Night.

eyesthatkissu · 01-13-2007, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alleusion

Honestly, I don't even post those things on social and art forums I belong to.

I joined the forum about a week after I decided to have the surgery. I had done a google search on WLS forums and this was the first site on the list. I didn't even have Dr. C or Dr. Potts do my surgery. Back in May of 05 this forums was instrumental in helping me through my journey.

But now. . .I rarely post. I see what Robin and Bridget are saying. We've become a bunch of cheerleaders, and when someone tries to point out the real issue, they either get jumped on or the topic completely dies.

The point is, we need to be real. I didn't get fat by talking about my issues and dealing with the emotional pain I was in. And when the time came to be real, trust me, I didn't want it. But like ripping off a band-aid, it hurts in the beginning, but the pain goes away and you heal.

The problem comes alot of times by the way we choose to deal with what's going on. Bridget is correct in some people thinking that the harder you smile and be happy about things, the more you hope people won't notice what's wrong. It's why I don't post my issues here anymore. I don't want or need a cheerleader telling me that everything is okay. If you knew what was going on in my life, you'd know it's not okay. I go to my support meetings so I can look Bridget in the eyes as she sees through the smile and asks me how I'm dealing with it. Going out drinking all the time after surgery, eating too much, too little, the wrong foods....IT'S NOT OKAY DAMNIT.

No one is telling anyone else how to post, or what they should or shouldn't post. But maybe that we should think about what we're posting, and where we're putting it. Maybe we should think about why we're here and what we hope to gain by being here. I'm didn't come here to make friends, but it happened. And I appreciate them more for being real to me instead of my personal cheerleader.

Jenny my love, you brought tears to my eyes, that was very well put, and very REAL and just what I meant. Thank you! BTW I just asked Bridget where you were and that I was missin ya, it was ESP cause poof here ya are!

Alleusion · 01-13-2007, 04:20 PM

Hey you disappeared on me first my little long distance pod person.

There's so much seriousness in me right now that I can't even come here to laugh at the senseless anecdotes. And because there's so much fecal matter in my life at the moment, I don't want to burden someone else with what is essentially "my problem".

Now, if someone knows a lawyer that will take a case for free, a bank that will loan someone with horrible credit $3-5000, or a way to get a good job, I'm all ears.

eyesthatkissu · 01-13-2007, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueyz

I answered the hernia question because I have been there and done that. I think sometimes people don't want to take the advice that is given, but if it is thrown out there, well it can be taken or ignored. I agree with what you are saying Robin as I have shared my experiences on numerous occaisions. One of which is the topic about Plastic Surgery and how I know from experience that we should wait until we stabilize weight. I don't post on numerous posts to say it over and over because I want to be mean, I do it because I CARE and I KNOW that our bodies continue to change after a year out. I wouldn't want anyone to waste money and have to go back in for more PS later. I have posted this so many times and noticed I never get much of a response, so I just move forward. I figure, I can share what happened to me and then move on. Take it or leave it. I always try to pay it forward and hopefully someone will be able to solve a problem or worry less if something they are asking is normal. I have been blessed with the support of so many lovely people here and hope that everyone knows how much I really do appreciate it.

That's exactly what I am saying Dale, you have an insight in that area that not many do, and you share it whenever you can. And you respond to the posts as you see neccesary. And I'm sure the posts are helping people. Helping people is what this place is all about, and all the other stuff is just gravy. WLS is the turkey.... the fun posts should never be the turkey... just the gravy.... Gawd I'm such a fat chick... I just made myself hungry.

SDphotogrl99 · 01-13-2007, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyesthatkissu

That's exactly what I am saying Dale, you have an insight in that area that not many do, and you share it whenever you can. And you respond to the posts as you see neccesary. And I'm sure the posts are helping people. Helping people is what this place is all about, and all the other stuff is just gravy. WLS is the turkey.... the fun posts should never be the turkey... just the gravy.... Gawd I'm such a fat chick... I just made myself hungry.

lol see that is what I love about you Robin!

eyesthatkissu · 01-13-2007, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alleusion

Hey you disappeared on me first my little long distance pod person.

There's so much seriousness in me right now that I can't even come here to laugh at the senseless anecdotes. And because there's so much fecal matter in my life at the moment, I don't want to burden someone else with what is essentially "my problem".

Now, if someone knows a lawyer that will take a case for free, a bank that will loan someone with horrible credit $3-5000, or a way to get a good job, I'm all ears.

I don't know if I can help with all that honey but I can certainly listen and try. And yes I take the blame for dissapearing, but it was excess fecal matter in my life as well.

eyesthatkissu · 01-13-2007, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDphotogrl99

lol see that is what I love about you Robin!

You just like knowing there's someone out there way dorkier then you are. I totally just stuck my tongue out at you! And you can't do nuttin about it! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

butterfly2b · 01-13-2007, 04:30 PM

As a "new-be" this is one of the most outrageous threads I have read thus far.

I was introduced to the board because I am a patient of Dr. Callery's. I was told it would be informational and cover a lot of questions that would come up along the way. I have been relieved to know that my journey is not unique. I have posted a little, primarily because it is in my nature to be quiet and reserved. I have learned a lot about early post op & old timer issues - the one that stands out in my mind is grazing on Peperidge Farm cookies all day instead of eating healthily. I used to to excatly THAT 24 years ago - it scared the &*#! out of me that I could be doing that again in a year. But it also reminded me a what a hard journey this is and will continue to be. My take away - no one is perfect, no one.

One of the complex issues of obesity is that we all got there for different reasons. The very people who now enjoy the light hearted posts now may have greatly enjoyed the get to know you posts that went around in 2004. Different people need different things from this forum, & for some it may be as simple as socialization. (Don't forget, we the obese are isolated from many parts of society and relationships becasue of our appearance.) BUT, everyone comes to GPS in their own time and to talking about their weight issues when it is emotionally safe for them. This posting and some of the responses lack a sense of humilty and brotherhood that I usually encounter when reading here. Sadly to me, some of the responses have a mean tone that do nothing to support the forum community.

JenBear7 · 01-13-2007, 04:37 PM

I can proudly say I am a newbie.. been reading here for a while, positing for a couple weeks... I can tell who the regulars are because I have read a great deal of the posts here (old & new)..Maybe intolerance of seeing the same posts, or unrelated questions is a stage of WLS..

I havent had it yet, and I feel it very useful to know that the scale doesnt always move, or that you are going to need chapstick in the hosp, or that just about everybody's hair falls out.. or that someone is excited because they are in a smaller size jeans... or people actually get to stop taking certain meds... or even when people are having a rough time with other parts of their lives..

I chose this forum to "park my pre-op butt at" because even the people who had been around forever seemed to answer the questions of everyone without treating them like outsiders... everyone is friendly & helpful.. and the feeling of comraderie on this site is apparent.. even to us outsiders (

)

I think it is all relevant... and if people want to play.. then people probably need to play. I would say that there are probably people with fake lives, but most of us probably get out of bed and go to work every day.. and deal with enough "real" bs that signing into a forum to hear how so and so is doing is a release in and of itself.. and its nice to know you arent the only one in the world feeling a certain way (even the silly posts!)

I think when people have knowledge in a certain area they are very eager to help.. the hernia may not be getting the responses this time, but I bet if someone had the same experience.. they will chime in.

I am sure you feel like you have answered the same posts a million times.. and I would say to you.. THANKS!!! You have probably made someone feel less alone, or less afraid, or more comfortable with whats happening or not happening .. those same million times.. and that is priceless...

Just my newbie two cents.. (I may be new.. but Im not shy

)

eyesthatkissu · 01-13-2007, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by butterfly2b

As a "new-be" this is one of the most outrageous threads I have read thus far.

I was introduced to the board because I am a patient of Dr. Callery's. I was told it would be informational and cover a lot of questions that would come up along the way. I have been relieved to know that my journey is not unique. I have posted a little, primarily because it is in my nature to be quiet and reserved. I have learned a lot about early post op & old timer issues - the one that stands out in my mind is grazing on Peperidge Farm cookies all day instead of eating healthily. I used to to excatly THAT 24 years ago - it scared the &*#! out of me that I could be doing that again in a year. But it also reminded me a what a hard journey this is and will continue to be. My take away - no one is perfect, no one.

One of the complex issues of obesity is that we all got there for different reasons. The very people who now enjoy the light hearted posts now may have greatly enjoyed the get to know you posts that went around in 2004. Different people need different things from this forum, & for some it may be as simple as socialization. (Don't forget, we the obese are isolated from many parts of society and relationships becasue of our appearance.) BUT, everyone comes to GPS in their own time and to talking about their weight issues when it is emotionally safe for them. This posting and some of the responses lack a sense of humilty and brotherhood that I usually encounter when reading here. Sadly to me, some of the responses have a mean tone that do nothing to support the forum community.

This posting was meant to be all about helping each other. The board used to be much more about helping each other and the struggle we all endure. My intention was to try and get us to focus on that aspect once again. I understand that people use this for socialization, I've said repeatedly that I don't want that to end, but I also don't like the posts that deal with the important issues to be set aside and go unanswered, or sit with 200 views and only 2 responses. We all need help, that's why we are here.