Hey Peeps, Just Need Some Support Today - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

NewMel06 · 10-26-2006, 01:57 AM

I am having a really tough day. I am just overwhelmed with life today. 99% of the time I am upbeat, and always look for the positive in everything and the light at the end of the tunnel in any bad situation, but today the stresses of everday life are getting to me and I need to vent. I never do this on here, so I feel guilty dumping my problems out there, but I don't have anyone else to talk to and I just feel like I am going to burst. My husband is in and out so much (out to sea-Navy) I just feel like the whole weight of everything is cracking my thinning shoulders!! I used to be able to handle it all, and not feeling so strong and mighty any more. The transition of moving, quitting my job..... getting settled again.... It's all so much. We found out about a month and a half ago that my youngest son has a major speech delay. I have been working so hard with this child for a month now with the help of the speech therapist, day after day! Now when I go to his speech therapy appointment today, she says to me he is making no progress and now we need to assess his behavior, and see if that is the problem (hearing and language came back great- he understands what a 4-5 year old understands, yet can only communicate what a 2 year old can and he is three). Don't get me wrong, I want to find out and fix the problem, I just don't want it to be that then my stupid sister in law and everyone in my family who insulted me with comments about his behavior all summer are right. Until we get all this resolved, I feel like I just can't go back to work which creates a whole other bucket of troubles for me, since I had the higher income in the marriage. So now we have money problems to boot. Christmas is coming, two of my kids birthdays, my daughter needs braces, my kids are hassling me everyday for material items they want, I could give them a few months back but can't now, now I just worry about how to stretch the grocery money..... I just feel like I am a single parent right now wiht my hubby gone so much of the time, and when he is back it is only for a day or two, he usually has to work, and so doesn't have the time to take any of this on. At this point, whoever is reading this knows more about my son's latest speech news development than his own father because I know my husband hasn't even had the chance to read his email or he would have responded to me by now.

I appologize to for dumping this all out there. I just knew that if I didn't get on here and type, I was going to start raiding my cupboards until my tiny little pouch couldn't take any more, and I can't head down that road again in life. I will end up back to where I came from. Thank you so much to who ever has taken the time to read this, I know it is a lengthy rant on my own life. There isn't anyone I have to talk to. Don't want to admit to any of my family that I am failing as a mom with my son and God forbid I have money problems!

Well I have rambled on enough. It has helped to get my feelings out, but the anxiety is still there, so not sure what to do about that. I wish it wasn't too late for the gym, I could really stand to go work the hell out of my body right now!

SweetSouthern · 10-26-2006, 03:18 AM

Awwwwwww {{{{{{{{{{{{{MELANIE}}}}}}}}}}}}!! I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Wish there was something I could tell you that would help. You can rant anytime you feel the need. We are all here for you.

ready4achange · 10-26-2006, 05:49 AM

I'm sorry you are feeling that way...(sending lots of hugs your way ) How about trying to take a few minutes to yourself today...even if it's in the bathroom....sounds like that is what you need...As for your son ??? He is three years old ...I wouldn't stress that too much you are only one person and can only do so much. Do the best you can with him. He may surprise you in the long run. Kids do things in thier own time. The more you stress about it the more they "sense" it and react to your feelings...(my thoughts) Don't force things on him, make a game out of the "speech time" Then they don't realize that they are doing work....Things will work out....Give it time.... You can only do so much....
Sandy

Nans · 10-26-2006, 07:05 AM

Aawww sweetie! You do have a plate full, no one will deny that. But, no longer than I have been here (and I've read several older post) you have come across to me as a very strong person, well, now its time to let your friends here be strong and hold you up for a bit. I have no "wise words of wisdom", but I do have some motherly experience ((a grandson that is 7)) and we went through a similar stint with our grandson, let me ask you this, have they check your son for being tongue-tied?? Yep, that is how we found out; our grandson is tongue- tied!!!!!! And with age comes change!!! He now only has trouble with his long "L" words ie: love, laura--they come out as wove & wara. But we see change in him every week.
As for the money problems, trust me you are not alone!! I have talked to several friends as well as my hubbie & I---we all seem to be going through huge financial problems and it seems harder and harder to pull out of it! Maybe its the economy, who knows.
But I will add your son, you and your family to my prayers.
And never never ever be afraid to spill your problems to friends, thats what they are for, to carry you when you can't carry yourself!!!!!!

Hugs~~~nans

LisaM · 10-26-2006, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewMel06

Well I have rambled on enough. It has helped to get my feelings out, but the anxiety is still there, so not sure what to do about that. I wish it wasn't too late for the gym, I could really stand to go work the hell out of my body right now!

No advice - just commiseration - am moving Sunday to Illinois, got money worries of my own. The biggest thing that helps is communication, communication, communication. You have the right to be anxious, and I'm so proud of you for turning to us instead of turning to food!

While we can't solve the money troubles, or your worries about your son, we can surely listen--and exercise does help. Keeping yourself healthy so you can take the best possible care of your son does help. Telling your family members that running shoes are only $25 at Wal-mart (so they can take a running leap straight up your butt) may also help, even if you don't say it out loud. Other people judging you is NEVER OK.

Hang in there, girl, keep writing out your troubles. Start a journal if you don't have one already and pour it all out there.

Cinerbelle · 10-26-2006, 07:40 AM

Hey Melanie,

I didn't read everyone else's response so forgive me if I repeat what someone has said.... BUT...you are NOT failing as a Mother. You are doing the best you can and your son's speech problem is NOT your fault. You have a heavy load on your shoulders and you are carrying it. Keep plugging away and feel free to vent any time!

Mavisavis · 10-26-2006, 08:14 AM

Melanie,

The main thing I want to say is this.......whine, vent, rant, worry, and stress to us anytime! I use some of the wonderful board members here almost as a Dear Diary.....only they answer back.

Sometimes you just need to say it so you can deal with it. You are human and you are struggling. Try and just find a few minutes for a quiet time and then just keep doing the next right thing you know to do. It will, in the end work out......and kids are resilient. The important thing is that you are there and you love them......they will remember that when they are grown......the Nikes, Uggs, or whatever is in style now will no longer matter. Just remember we are here to listen and we care about you.

chilmoe · 10-26-2006, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewMel06

I am having a really tough day. I am just overwhelmed with life today. 99% of the time I am upbeat, and always look for the positive in everything and the light at the end of the tunnel in any bad situation, but today the stresses of everday life are getting to me and I need to vent. I never do this on here, so I feel guilty dumping my problems out there, but I don't have anyone else to talk to and I just feel like I am going to burst. My husband is in and out so much (out to sea-Navy) I just feel like the whole weight of everything is cracking my thinning shoulders!! I used to be able to handle it all, and not feeling so strong and mighty any more. The transition of moving, quitting my job..... getting settled again.... It's all so much. We found out about a month and a half ago that my youngest son has a major speech delay. I have been working so hard with this child for a month now with the help of the speech therapist, day after day! Now when I go to his speech therapy appointment today, she says to me he is making no progress and now we need to assess his behavior, and see if that is the problem (hearing and language came back great- he understands what a 4-5 year old understands, yet can only communicate what a 2 year old can and he is three). Don't get me wrong, I want to find out and fix the problem, I just don't want it to be that then my stupid sister in law and everyone in my family who insulted me with comments about his behavior all summer are right. Until we get all this resolved, I feel like I just can't go back to work which creates a whole other bucket of troubles for me, since I had the higher income in the marriage. So now we have money problems to boot. Christmas is coming, two of my kids birthdays, my daughter needs braces, my kids are hassling me everyday for material items they want, I could give them a few months back but can't now, now I just worry about how to stretch the grocery money..... I just feel like I am a single parent right now wiht my hubby gone so much of the time, and when he is back it is only for a day or two, he usually has to work, and so doesn't have the time to take any of this on. At this point, whoever is reading this knows more about my son's latest speech news development than his own father because I know my husband hasn't even had the chance to read his email or he would have responded to me by now.

I appologize to for dumping this all out there. I just knew that if I didn't get on here and type, I was going to start raiding my cupboards until my tiny little pouch couldn't take any more, and I can't head down that road again in life. I will end up back to where I came from. Thank you so much to who ever has taken the time to read this, I know it is a lengthy rant on my own life. There isn't anyone I have to talk to. Don't want to admit to any of my family that I am failing as a mom with my son and God forbid I have money problems!

Well I have rambled on enough. It has helped to get my feelings out, but the anxiety is still there, so not sure what to do about that. I wish it wasn't too late for the gym, I could really stand to go work the hell out of my body right now!

melanie, so sorry for what you are going through - i just want to add, i too have a daughter who went to speech therapy - only at 19months old as she had no sound - she understood everything said to her and tried to communicate back - her hearing and everything checked normal, so the docs chalked it up to being and get this, laziness, she had years of speech therapy and went to school, had a resource class once a day to help her with her speech, well today she is 11, in the french immersion program and is an honour student, so proud of her....dont give up and follow your own heart when it comes to your son, i will say one other thing something i dont tell anyone because i cannot believe i let the doc do this to my child at 20months old the pediatrician put my daughter on ritlin (sp?) the ADD medication as he diagnosed her with ADD at that age as he felt it was behaviour keeping her from being "normal" ....hang in there hun....it will turn itself around, just be patient with him, that was the hardest part sometimes looking back now, i was young when i had her and i know thats no excuse, i was 18 with my son and 20 with the one im talking about and 23 with my last one, but did the best i could and she turned out alright, her behaviour can still be challenging but it has worked out and i hope all the best for you...vent anytime, we are listening!!!

Baron Patrick · 10-26-2006, 08:25 AM

Hi Melanie;

Your finding out that life happens. Yes, it is tough what your going through, but you know what? It won’t last! I can guarantee that. I’m not going to spout a bunch of tired and worn out cliche’s abut how life will get better - it just will!

You are discovering you’re stronger than you think you are. Melanie, your doing great, and thing’s will get better. As for your son, don’t worry what your stupid sister-in-law and the family thinks. The main thing is getting your son the medical attention and help he needs. There will always be time later to set your in-law and others straight. Right now your son needs you and all the love you can give.

I admire you for being able to care for your family the way you have. Not everyone can do what you have done, moving to another state, settling in, an absent hubby due to military duties, and caring for the children. Not to mention taking care of yourself and your weight loss.

Your doing well! Take it one day at a time, just like you have done with your wls. Deal with things as they come. Your doing fine! If you need to vent further, go for it. Where here for you, we listen, and we care.

Blessings -

Jennifer Miller · 10-26-2006, 09:37 AM

Melanie.. all I can say, "I agree with Patrick, it will get better."
However coming to this board is a good thing. I did a couple of
months ago.. So many people helped.
Now things are better.. not perfect... but as Patrick said.."This is
life"..
Do the best you can today, then embrace tomorrow for it
offers the opportunity to try again."

Hugs,
Jenni