Liz and I rode home from the beach when we were dating with the sun roof open. Half of my face was burned so bad it was almost blistering, and the other side was white as driven snow. I looked like I had just escaped from the circus.
If I were you...I would develop a different personality for each shade of yourself and then spring them on John when he leasts suspects. Keep him on his toes. That seems easier than trying to half tan. Of course...there's always the bottle tan. Instead of being tan and white, you could be tan and orange.
I hope this is the worst thing you have to deal with right now!
-Mike
Silly girl 
Or, you could just keep doing what you're doing, even if the left gets darker. You know John won't care - maybe it will be a turn-on for him to have a gorgeous girlfriend who looks like a black-and-white cookie! 
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