Doing it the hard way - ThinnerTimes

Groovey kinda Love · 05-30-2006, 01:55 PM

I seen my sister for the first time since my surgery the other day. She looked great, I bet she lost a good 60 pounds i was very proud of her and told her she looked great. She then told me Yep I did it the hard way! whats that suposed to mean? As in because she didn't have surgery she is better? I told her yea I did it the hard way too, I guess if you count the fact I almost died after my surgery. That I fought for my life the first year post-op, that it was by the pure grace of God why I am still here. Yep I did it the hard way too....... I can't stand self righteous, pious better than thou people. SO what if I had freakin wls and she didn't who is she or anyone else to judge me for who I am or for why I decided to have surgery? Does it make me or anyone else who has had wls any less of a person? I think not. People with that frame of mind just infuriates me. I was happy to see her then she said that. I mean lets face it we hadn't seen each other for over a year and we live about 2 miles apart. I don't get it. Some people you just can't make happy no matter what you do. Sorry I vented but I just had to. She is suppose to be my best friend, sister ect... never is there any support unless it benefits her!

Dave T in SD · 05-30-2006, 02:08 PM

Wow Suezq,
I know how ya feel!! Same crap I get from my sister!!

I know we did it the hard way and if they can sweat it out, good for them!!

With my sister, she has gained all the weight back plus some and now doesn't want to talk to me becuse I won't be gaining the weight back!!

How do you say..B***h!!

VanessaSFL · 05-30-2006, 02:17 PM

I can see both sides here.(Devil's Advocate...sorry)

For me ,It has not been easy but alot easier than a life of yo-yo dieting.I too had life threatening complications after surgery.

Before WLS,I did think it was the easy way out.Unless you go thu it...it is hard to identify with it.

Our friends and family will come around.I try to remember how unhappy and depressed I was MO,I was very jealous of those who could lose weight and keep it off.I wasen't happy for them...who you kidding?I was miserable inside.

It's hard to ignore family's comments but what else do you do?

Enjoy your success...you deserve it.

Gladitsme · 05-30-2006, 03:03 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{SuezQ}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry your sister decided to be that way. Whether or not she recognizes the agony you went through, we know what it took to get where you are. I can almost guarantee you that she wouldn't have lost an ounce if you hadn't had surgery!!

Americanwoman397 · 05-30-2006, 03:09 PM

You know it is funny that I read this post today. My husband and I were sitting at breakfast on Monday talking about this. When I was still heavy and people found out that I had WLS I got the easy way out look kind of like they feel sorry for me and now that I have lost over 150lbs people get so excited and say how happy they are for me. I think it is so funny the way people view this surgery.

coptergirl · 05-30-2006, 03:14 PM

Sue - you have lost your weight forever - your sister will most likely gain hers back. I am sorry you are contending with this roght now, though

Groovey kinda Love · 05-30-2006, 05:41 PM

You all are so right! I know my sister well, and most likely she only lost weight cause I had wls like nancy said. I just for once wanted her to be happy for me. I know it shouldn't matter, but it does. She is 10 years older than me and she must be one unhappy camper cause she is never happy with anything I do. I now realize she is a very misserable person and it is no ones fault but her own.

Blueyz · 05-30-2006, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suezq

I seen my sister for the first time since my surgery the other day. She looked great, I bet she lost a good 60 pounds i was very proud of her and told her she looked great. She then told me Yep I did it the hard way! whats that suposed to mean? As in because she didn't have surgery she is better? I told her yea I did it the hard way too, I guess if you count the fact I almost died after my surgery. That I fought for my life the first year post-op, that it was by the pure grace of God why I am still here. Yep I did it the hard way too....... I can't stand self righteous, pious better than thou people. SO what if I had freakin wls and she didn't who is she or anyone else to judge me for who I am or for why I decided to have surgery? Does it make me or anyone else who has had wls any less of a person? I think not. People with that frame of mind just infuriates me. I was happy to see her then she said that. I mean lets face it we hadn't seen each other for over a year and we live about 2 miles apart. I don't get it. Some people you just can't make happy no matter what you do. Sorry I vented but I just had to. She is suppose to be my best friend, sister ect... never is there any support unless it benefits her!

At least you have us to support you and darn it...you went through so much!! You did it the HARD way...sheesh. I am sorry that she doesn't see it our way and there are so many who think like that. Just know that I am on your side...girl, you went through sooooo much. I followed through your earliest days post-op and you are a trooper and had nothing but hard times. Chin up, you have our support.

Bypassingme619 · 05-30-2006, 05:45 PM

Sue sweety I am sorry you are not getting the kind of support from your own sister that you thought you would. The thing that upsets me the most is we are all in the same battle to fight for a healthier self, so matter if a person lost the weight by surgical means or weight watcher or changing their eating working out habits I commend them all. The goal is to reach a healthier lifestyle. Sue I am a stranger and I know how much you have been through since having this surgery and I would think your own sister would know up close and personal about how hard this has been for you. But I guess that goes to show there is a little jealousy there and there is some underlying feelings. Somebody is always going to have something to say. Keep your head up and smile big smiles.

Gina in NY · 05-30-2006, 08:29 PM

I am sorry you feel so put out, but wouldn't it be something if a few years down the road, your sister swallows her pride enough to ask you about your surgery? Like, she's interested in having it done too? I don't know - three years ago I declared that anyone who gets this surgery "Is completely insane!" and here I am.

Now don't forget, when she talked about doing it "the hard way", she is just trying to make herself feel good because, as you said, she doesn't feel good about herself. She may not even have been thinking of you. (well, maybe not anyway) When I am at my best, I take the high road with those people. "Yes - aren't you lucky you had that option - what a blessing it must be to you. (heavy sigh) I guess we all do what we have to do to be healthy".

In any case, I am sorry that your reunion was less than perfect. It is too bad, but try not to let it get to you. It is all about her, nothing about you at all, as you know.