Warning: Long, emotional rant... - ThinnerTimes

LisaM · 12-07-2005, 01:05 PM

Hi, guys,

I'm sitting here crying, struggling with EVERYthing. I'm too far out to still be having estrogen floods, I think...

I do know what triggered it... family. My freaking family... My sister was in town this last weekend (from three hours away) and wouldn't even come see me, call me, nothing. Long story, but I spent three years enabling her manic-depressive behavior, finally told her she had to leave in September. We've talked a few times since then, inconsequential stuff, but when it came down to it, the five minutes where I told her she didn't have to go back to her ex-husband but she couldn't stay with me, were more important than the years that I took care of her, gave her money and made sure she was OK.

Then I visited my older brother last night. I have lost 53 %$&#ING pounds, and he never said a word. My sister-in-law and her daughter told me I looked great, but my brother, instead, tells the story about when I came back from overseas 20 YEARS AGO and had gained a bunch of weight, and how he didn't recognize me. What is up with that?

My favorite brother (I have nine brothers and sisters, sorry, there's no way NOT to have a favorite) is leaving for Tennessee in the morning, in the middle of a Texas ice storm. NOT happy about that, but can't say anything without getting "mother hen" comments.

My husband is hundreds of miles away, won't be back until Friday. And hugs over the phone just suck. And speaking of him, I just realized a few nights ago that for the last 20 years of our 25 years together, I have expected him to be sexually attracted to a woman who ranges between 260 and 300 pounds most of the time. This is a man who, when asked the question, said his ideal woman would be a long-legged redhead. I'm a 5'1" brunette, and a lot closer to tree stump proportions than anything I would call leggy. NEVER ask my husband a question if you don't want the answer.

And ALL I want to do today is eat. Thank God for this tool that makes that so hard to do. Otherwise I would be up to my ears in something incredibly caloric, high-sugar and high-fat.

Thanks for listening.

Realtor Linda · 12-07-2005, 01:20 PM

Lisa,
I am sure you know this already, but girls can be #$#$%! Especially girls who are in "competition" with us in one way or another. Your sister is not interested in celebrating your success. She is jealous. Bottom line. It is horrible. It is very sad. But it happens. You cannot however, let her selfishness and jealousy disrupt your success. Look how great things are for you. 53 lbs.....WOW!
And you rmen....well, your brother moving is not easy. Wish him well, let him know you love him and stay close via email or calls. Imagine how excited he will be next time he sees you at 100 lbs lost!
And your husband ....well....he's a guy...what can I say. Men are men. Besides, your husband loves you, leggy or not. Most men say their ideal is a 3some....you gonna comply to that? I don't think so. Your husband loves you....wait till he sees the 50 lbs gone! Don't cry anymore....your sister isn't worth it and besides.....too much salt is bad for you!
LOL
I hope you have a better day now!
Linda

Bypassingme619 · 12-07-2005, 01:29 PM

Lisa the devil is real busy this time of year, and who better to break our hopes and dreams then the ones close to use. I know this is gonna sound easier said then done but brush them comments off, let it roll off your shoulders. Everytime you hear something negative you sit back and think about all you have worked for, how far you have come and then put a big Smile on your face. I hope this feeling will pass and it will make you stronger for whatever lies ahead. Big Hugs sweety.

Mavisavis · 12-07-2005, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaM

Hi, guys,

I'm sitting here crying, struggling with EVERYthing. I'm too far out to still be having estrogen floods, I think...

I do know what triggered it... family. My freaking family... My sister was in town this last weekend (from three hours away) and wouldn't even come see me, call me, nothing. Long story, but I spent three years enabling her manic-depressive behavior, finally told her she had to leave in September. We've talked a few times since then, inconsequential stuff, but when it came down to it, the five minutes where I told her she didn't have to go back to her ex-husband but she couldn't stay with me, were more important than the years that I took care of her, gave her money and made sure she was OK.

Then I visited my older brother last night. I have lost 53 %$&#ING pounds, and he never said a word. My sister-in-law and her daughter told me I looked great, but my brother, instead, tells the story about when I came back from overseas 20 YEARS AGO and had gained a bunch of weight, and how he didn't recognize me. What is up with that?

My favorite brother (I have nine brothers and sisters, sorry, there's no way NOT to have a favorite) is leaving for Tennessee in the morning, in the middle of a Texas ice storm. NOT happy about that, but can't say anything without getting "mother hen" comments.

My husband is hundreds of miles away, won't be back until Friday. And hugs over the phone just suck. And speaking of him, I just realized a few nights ago that for the last 20 years of our 25 years together, I have expected him to be sexually attracted to a woman who ranges between 260 and 300 pounds most of the time. This is a man who, when asked the question, said his ideal woman would be a long-legged redhead. I'm a 5'1" brunette, and a lot closer to tree stump proportions than anything I would call leggy. NEVER ask my husband a question if you don't want the answer.

And ALL I want to do today is eat. Thank God for this tool that makes that so hard to do. Otherwise I would be up to my ears in something incredibly caloric, high-sugar and high-fat.

Thanks for listening.

Lisa,

I don't know how long the hormones rage, but would guess it's as long as weight is dropping. Regardless, life has some ups and downs.........and you are just having some temporary slumps. Family things can really cut to the heart. I have had a lot of people not mention my weight loss also, probably all for varying reasons. I guess they can range from people who truly don't judge and therefore don't notice, ones who don't know what to say, people who are jealous or upset by it, some might feel you wouldn't want attention drawn, who knows all the reasons. When I get comments, and then lack thereof, I try to remind myself that I did this for health and that looking better was an awesome side effect. You know how great you've done, and there will always be someone ready to drag you down.

I know it makes you doubt when you ask your hubby such a question and get that kind of answer. My boyfriend, rather than lie, will answer such questions with......."Do I have stupid stamped on my forehead?" lol I'm sure he loves you from the inside out.......how could he not?

Just keep doing your best and being yourself........that's all you can do. This slump will pass. Thanks for always being here to encourage all of us.

LisaM · 12-07-2005, 02:15 PM

Every word y'all say helps. As does the Sugar Free, Decaf Suisse Mocha that I just picked up at the grocery store. I'm afraid to drink anything alcoholic...

Mavisavis · 12-07-2005, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaM

Every word y'all say helps. As does the Sugar Free, Decaf Suisse Mocha that I just picked up at the grocery store. I'm afraid to drink anything alcoholic...

LOL, I'm glad you feel a little better, even without the alcohol.

justawoman · 12-07-2005, 03:20 PM

Lisa,

I sure hope things are better for you now. I am sorry to hear your not having such a great day..Your an amazing woman and I believe I have told you that before, you have guided me and helped me in so many ways. Please keep your chin up and remember your a success. You are an inspiration to me

Alleusion · 12-07-2005, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Realtor Linda

Men are men. Besides, your husband loves you, leggy or not. Most men say their ideal is a 3some....you gonna comply to that? I don't think so.

Oh I just had to reply to this line......ROFL!! My husband says the same thing Linda, but not like he's gonna get it. Fortunately for me, mine likes tall brunettes.

Now Lisa...I get this same bulls**t from my sister. She's so jealous I can practically see her turning green with it. Just remember that you made the decision for a healthy life and you will be skinny and beautiful while she will just be....green. I almost want to say the same for the brother who brought up your weight gain. Does he have weight issues as well?

I have only 2 sisters, but I do have a favorite, so I know what you mean with "favorite brother". Mine lives almost 3000 miles away from me on the southeast coast of Texas. I worry about her daily, and she just shrugs it off. She's older then me too! And you're right, hugs just aren't the same over email or via the telephone.

As for missing your husband. . .you're lucky, he'll come home in a few days. Mine tries to email me daily, but the satellite connection out in the middle of Camel's Behind, Iraq isn't all that stable. I feel weird giving him internet kisses (almost a little dirty too when he starts in on his latest dreams), but I know he needs it just as much as somewhere deep inside I need it too.

You go on and have yourself a good cry hun, you deserve it. And while you're wallowing in your SF swiss mocha, add a dash of SF carmel syrup to it too, make it taste like a sin even when it isn't. ((((HUGS)))) (see there I go again with the internet hugs)

LisaM · 12-07-2005, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alleusion

.... I almost want to say the same for the brother who brought up your weight gain. Does he have weight issues as well?

As for missing your husband. . .you're lucky, he'll come home in a few days. Mine tries to email me daily, but the satellite connection out in the middle of Camel's Behind, Iraq isn't all that stable.

Yep, my brother does have weight issues... and just had open-heart surgery AND continues to smoke and drink.

And you're right, too, that I'm lucky that my hub's coming home in a few days. We were Air Force for 20 years, and I watched him leave for other countries enough to know some of what you go through, Jenny. Fortunately, he had blown a shoulder shortly before the First Gulf War, which kept him from heading for the world's biggest sandbox. We were lucky. And my heart is with you every moment that you spend without your sailor.

I don't know why I can't pull out of this funk... I just know that yesterday I was on top of the world, had a good time at support group, it didn't even bother me to sleep alone last night. And today I've been on the edge of tears all day. It's not PMS - the hysterectomy was four years ago.

Maybe part of it is that, while I was given this tool, the nature of our tool has put a spike in my biggest emotional control - food. I regulated every emotion with food, and I have yet to develop anything to take its place. Maybe.

LizardQueen · 12-07-2005, 07:23 PM

Sorry you are feeling so crummy! It is a damn shame you can't choose your family! You just get stuck with 'em and have to love 'em! Just allow yourself to feel however you need to for a couple of days and I'm sure this will pass. We all have our days when everything is gloom, doom, and depression. I give internet hugs all the time so-Big hugs to you!!!!!