Ashamed...didn't speak up - ThinnerTimes

VanessaSFL · 11-25-2005, 04:12 PM

Hey guys,

I went to craker barrel yesterday morning , met one of my husbands friends who had a lay over in Ft.Myers.
The guy is in law enforcement and flies on airplanes.Well he makes the comment,"this lady sitting next to me was very large,I am sure she wants that gastric bypass thing,She needs it"
I just smiled...everyone else at the table knew I had the surgery.I was surprised by my reaction.I didn't say anything.The topic just changed.

I felt embarrassed.I don't know why.I guess I have not come full circle with my emotions .Sometimes I talk about it...other times...like it never happened.

I should have said,"I was that 300lbs woman 8 months ago...."
But didn't.Maybe because it was a man?Hmmmmm

Just wanted to post and read about simular situations,

Van

LizardQueen · 11-25-2005, 04:18 PM

The further out i get the less wls seems to define me. I am me. I hate fat jokes and hate conversations about Mo people. I may have reacted the same I may have spoke out. It depends on the situation and my mood. The guy made an ass out of himself because everybody else knew that is the bottom line. Just do what you feel comfortable doing. Every situation and person and persons involved is different and that determines how we act. Just keep in mind you did what you thought was right at the time and let it go. We all know what a doll you are, do you really care what this guy thinks?

Bypassingme619 · 11-25-2005, 05:51 PM

Van in some ways I understand why you didn't say anything(it was Thanksgiving) I am sure you didn't want to get into a GBS debate over your dinner around others who might judge you. I will be honest I might have chimed in and told Mr. Law Enforcement about his comment and continued with my couple of bites of food. You have to be careful when you make comments and you don't know who you are sitting next to. But I know God has a special place for people like that. Sometime silence is golden, maybe even if you had said something about it, who is to say that would have change his out look on the situation. Besides who says you will not run into him again or someone else who will give him an ear full about what he thinks big very large people should do. I am upset(can you tell?). Van don't trip off that, you kno who you are inside. It all happened the way it did for a reason.

SDphotogrl99 · 11-25-2005, 11:31 PM

I know how you feel. You can't stick up for every MO person in the world. Sometimes I am ok with talking about my experence, other times I feel like it would just take to much energy and I don't feel like answering all those stupid questions.

coptergirl · 11-25-2005, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LizardQueen

The guy made an ass out of himself because everybody else knew that is the bottom line.

Because if this, 'nuf said. Someone at the tabel has prpobably discreetly told him anyways, and he probably feels like an idiot now as it is. It was taken care of for you

Mavisavis · 11-26-2005, 05:50 PM

It's hard to handle these things when they happen off the cuff like that. I do hope someone told him later........and I certainly hope he felt shame and learned a lesson.

700MMS · 11-27-2005, 09:51 AM

When you were that lady 8 months ago did anyone ever stick up for you? You shouldn't be scared to let a person know in a friendly way that what they said offends you.

Shawn

CiCi · 11-28-2005, 06:38 AM

It's hard to be ready for someone to say something shocking like that. You weren't prepared. Maybe you will be next time - or maybe not. Like others have said, don't feel bad. We can't take on the world... although sometimes we want to.

bridgetgirl · 11-28-2005, 10:06 AM

What I hear from him, as you tell it doesnt sound insulting. We see MO peeps all the time and wish we could have the courage to emabrace them and share our WLS journey with them. I wouldnt be insulted if I heard it. perhpas I would have responded, "What makes you think she hasnt already and has lost 100 pounds?" Theres food for thought.

VanessaSFL · 11-29-2005, 06:21 AM

Someone asked if anyone ever "stood up for me"?I would have to say no..but I was in total denile...I was MO but didn't see it.I knew I was "KINDA"big but still thought I was cute.(280 lbs..kinda big...such denile.)

It's not what he said it was my reaction.I clammed up...glanced at evryone else at the table.It was like from a movie.

I feel like a weight loss loser...had to revert to surgery to control myself from emotional eating.*yes I see a therapist*But thats how I feel or have been made to feel.

This was the hardest thing I have done in my life...to offer my body up on the chopping block....rearange what GOD designed....so I can, with Gods grace control my destructive eating habits.

I hear so many times it's the easy way out...I cringe when I hear those words.

Ok...I'm done...feels good to just let it rip.....on the keyboard.

Weight off chest in Fl~

Van