LizardQueen

My 13 year old daughter announced to me a few weeks ago she is gay and has a girlfriend. I'm fine with this. If she is happy, I'm happy. I haven't told my hubby and I'm not sure how. Any advice? I don't know what he will say. My Godfathers are trying to guide me as far as supporting her decision and I'm actually suprsingly happy about the whole thing. Hubby, I'm not so sure, but I can't keep him in the dark forever.

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Amber
Open RNY 2/22/05
278/103.5 way below goal

CiCi

Amber, with your positive approach, it sounds like you'd be the right one to tell your hubby. Hopefully, he'll feel the same as you. If not, give him a little time and that might help. Remind him that your daughter's sexual preference shouldn't matter when it comes to the love of a parent.

Best of luck!

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T r a c i
RNY LAP March 30, 2005
244 pre-op / 121 current and holding!

Baron Patrick

Amber -

You are soooo cool about this! Your daughter is very, very fortunate to have a mom like you. I'm sure your husband will take the news as well as you did. To bad we don't have more understanding in this crazy world!

As far as how to tell your husband, simply find a quiet time in the evening and tell him. Don't beat around the subject but just tell him matter-of-factly this is how it is.

I gotta say I also admire your daughter. At 13 and being able to tell you something this serious says something about her maturity and the close relationship you two have - and that's very unusual for kids that age.

She will most likely encounter discrimination and harrasement at school, but with you and your husband by her side supporting her, it will make this difficult time easier on her.

Take care, God Bless, and let us know how it went!

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Baron Patrick

It Ain't Over Till I Say It's Over-And I Won!
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Top / Goal
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LAP RNY 5/29/07
TT Gym Rat Club Member #19

new me

Amber,

Your daughter is amazing. Such strength at a young age. I am in awe of her courage. She obviously has wonderful support at home to know who she is and that she can talk to you about it.

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Deanna

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

January 5, 2006
BMI: 42.4/30.1/23.2
-61lbs

Bypassingme619

Amber wow I commend you for supporting your daughter. My brother came out the closet about a couple of years ago and I embraced him because he had been hiding his life style all this time. Even though I know his life style is a sin, I am not who will Judge him at the end of his days. That is my brother and that will never change no matter what his life style is. Amber maybe you should speak to the hubby privatly before doing it with you daughter. Don't want to scare her off. I hope all works out.

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Your Girl,
Denise

Dr. Mueller
7/14/05 Lap
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Kristen

Amber,

You've got a spirit that I so admire. As for telling your husband, have you asked you daughter if she wants to tell him herself? (I figured you had since she came to you first and you are going to tell him) I wondered if she would feel comfortable telling him with you there to support her. I remember myself at 13 and remember that I liked boys but still thought a part of them was icky and it was fun to pull their hair! Kids today face a lot more than they did when I was growing up in the eighties. I don't know your hubby so I can't tell you when the best time would be to approach him with it, but better sooner than later. If you need anything please PM Me!

Kristen

feliciaespinoza

Well Amber personally speaking I had the same situation occur when my daughter was that age that and among other things that I found out she was doing at that age smoking pot, smoking ciggs and drinking well wrong crowd of friends and pressure then I would find notes that she was gay and liked girls I was to say the least besides myself and was raising her on my own cause her dad was not very involved in her life at the time and well I called him to tell him what I had discovered first of all I was besides myself with all she was doing (the bad stuff) I figuered I would deal with the gay issue after we dealt with the drug & alcohol issue which to me was much more important well once all was taken care of we had some very heart to hearts because we are very close and she shares almost everything with me turns out that I did support her and her liking girls it was whatever made her happy but as it turned out it was more of a phase then anything and it only lasted about a year then she grew out of it well as far as I know she did who knows though she could still like girls but she has had the same boyfriend for over a year and and a half now shes 17 now but you sticking to her and supporting her is really all a parent can do she may grow out of it or she may not but at least you give her the option to be herself and to make up her own mind and that will let her know she can be open with you if anyone about how she is feeling I totally understand about you not being sure about your hubby I didnt know how I was going to tell my ex husband there really is no way of easily telling your spouse something like that but I think maybe a good idea would be that she be there when you talk to your hubby. Well good luck honey and Im here if you need to talk or need any advice just PM me.

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Dr. Potts
297/160/190
May 14, 2004
Open


DRAVEN ROBERT STROME was born on May 7TH @ 5:27 A.M and weighed 7lbs 10 oz. and was 21 inches long

bridgetgirl

Amber I friggin' dreamt about you and this topic last night!!! You and I were sitting around talking, i talked with your daughter..... it was nice to meet you! lol

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J.Bridget Fisher
Find me on face book using this email; bridgetgirl@msn.com
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"People will argue with you that getting what you want in life isn’t something you can learn, if you’re destined to be one of the worlds winners as opposed to one of its perpetual whiners, its because you have been born with the right talents and temperament and have a big dose of self-esteem, ambition, and good judgment." Kate White

LizardQueen

Thanks everybody! I'm gonna wait unti lthis weekend to break the news. I don't think he'll freak too bad. I just don't want him to blame my godfathers for it. I know they didn't "turn her". It may very well be a phase and if so that is okay, if not thats fine too. We are very very close. She is my best buddy! She is a good kid straight A student, scholar bowl, and math counts (it's scholar bowl with tough math problems kinda) and pretty active in sports. No smoking or drinking that I know of. I let my kids have wine on holidays and special occasions (always have because my family did it) usually they both pass on it. they say it reminds them of communion too much. I don't really have any concerns with her other than i want her to be happy. Bridget, it was nice to meet you too! One of these days we gotta do ti in real life though!

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Amber
Open RNY 2/22/05
278/103.5 way below goal

alikat

I was sharing this topic with my husband last night and he had the following take on the subject "Well, if one of my daughters is gay, cool...I can check out her girlfriends..." Guess you never know what they're thinking. Good luck and just remember that love comes in all shapes, sizes, packages and forms.