Need to vent - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Pokey757 · 11-03-2005, 09:14 AM

Sorry to be such a buzz kill all the time, but i am so depressed. I still dont feel well, am still in some pain, still taking pain killers. I started back to work on Tuesday, and i have yet to put in a full day, becuz i get tired, or pain. I am just so tired of feeling like this.
My husband is frustrated (sexually)and prolly otherwise (sorry if that is TMI) I just cant make him understand how i feel. I am not getting any damn pleasure either, so what is the problem. I just dont get men and sex. He has NEVER been supportive. I dont know if he just doesnt know how, or what, but it is really getting on my nerves. I dont like being made to feel guilty, or like i am a bad wife, cuz i am not giving it up.
I cant seem to eat much without getting nausea afterward. I have been drinking my protein shakes, but not religiously. I have not been taking my vitamins religiously either, but am trying.
I dont ever feel like doing anything.
I have a Company Christmas Party in Early Dec, but i have no idea what will be served, can i eat? Should i bring something? No one knows what type of surgery i had except my boss & his wife, so i will feel awkward bringing something.
Oh, yes and mustnt forget, now i cant seem to go to the bathroom. (bm) again sorry if TMI, I have not gone for 2 days. I am pretty sure that is why my tummy is in such pain for the last 2 days. I was going to try Milk of Mag, or Benefiber. Which do you suggest?
When will this ever end?
Sorry for ranting, but i do feel a bit better.

bridgetgirl · 11-03-2005, 10:42 AM

Girlfriend, all is normal with you regarding your emotions. remember your hormones are going whacky right now. You are releasing estrogen, testosterone and and whole bunch of other stuff is going on. Its sad to hear that your husband is not supportive, but then again you state he NEVER has been, so it sounds as though you are used to it, but dont like it. I dont know how to help you get through that, other than the way you always have..... perhaps you could validate his feelings, ie, "I know your frustrated, Im frustrated too, but what I need you to understand right now is this........." Maybe opening lines of communication vs having hostility and resentment will help you emotionally.

Just know that you arent the only post op who has felt this way, hormones are going crazy and in turn that can make you feel as though you are as well! Chin up, shoulders back you beautiful creature you, one day at a time!

bridgetgirl · 11-03-2005, 10:44 AM

Take your vitamins!!! Its extremely important, no exscuses. You made the choice to trade a lifetime of obesity for a lifetime of vitamin taking! If you dont take them you could REALLY hurt yourself. Search vitamin deficiency to read about the horrible things that have happened to our friends.

Now go take your vitamin!

Gladitsme · 11-03-2005, 11:48 AM

Danette,
You've been thru major surgery, serious complications, hospitalized what 3 times now? I'm not surprised you're depressed. Honey, be gentle with yourself. As for your husband, I found being intimate helped me feel better. If you don't feel like it, you don't feel like it. And Bridget is right TAKE YOUR VITAMINS. You need them.

marisa · 11-03-2005, 12:01 PM

Pokey757,

Never apologize for feeling the need to slurge here! We are all here for YOU! Please, please, please try to understand that what you are experiencing is very NORMAL!

Your hormones are all wigged out right now and the husband issue is obviously not helping. Sex ALWAYS perks me up! It helps with the depression (at least for me). But if you are in pain due to lack of BM's than obviously sex is not going to help. Drink more water, take your VITAMINS! Those protein shakes take too long to drink. Go to GNC and get a drink that is called Isopure. They are yummy...they come in flacors like punch, grape and melon...there are other flavors too! They have 40 grams of whey protein and they are tasty unlike shakes that get warm before you can drink it all. Most of all....hang in there. Take those vitamins....take B-12 EVERYDAY that helps and if you are not on an anti-depressent than maybe that is something to consider. Hang in there Lady!

Pokey757 · 11-03-2005, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

Its sad to hear that your husband is not supportive, but then again you state he NEVER has been, so it sounds as though you are used to it, but dont like it. I dont know how to help you get through that, other than the way you always have..... perhaps you could validate his feelings, ie, "I know your frustrated, Im frustrated too, but what I need you to understand right now is this........." Maybe opening lines of communication vs having hostility and resentment will help you emotionally.

I did try that, with the letting him know how i feel. Everything is about him, and his feelings. Like back in 98 when my daughter died. If i hadnt been a nervous wreck trying to put on my bra, and could actually drive myself, he wouldnt of even come. Then while we are sitting there he breaks out crying about how everybody he loves dies. He was going on about his MOM, and Grandpa. Now i understand being sad about that, but i felt that was "my time". It actually pissed a few people off that were there. Then my grandmother died, and he did not even go to the funeral. My grandma was the only one in my family except my sis, who accepted him. (he is black, and i am white) She overcame all her predjudice, and totally digged him.
He was not happy about me doing WLS, but he was helpful. He is mostly just not supportive emotionally.
I guess i should be used to him by now, but i keep thinking he will get better.

bridgetgirl · 11-03-2005, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pokey757

I did try that, with the letting him know how i feel. Everything is about him, and his feelings. Like back in 98 when my daughter died. If i hadnt been a nervous wreck trying to put on my bra, and could actually drive myself, he wouldnt of even come. Then while we are sitting there he breaks out crying about how everybody he loves dies. He was going on about his MOM, and Grandpa. Now i understand being sad about that, but i felt that was "my time". It actually pissed a few people off that were there. Then my grandmother died, and he did not even go to the funeral. My grandma was the only one in my family except my sis, who accepted him. (he is black, and i am white) She overcame all her predjudice, and totally digged him.
He was not happy about me doing WLS, but he was helpful. He is mostly just not supportive emotionally.
I guess i should be used to him by now, but i keep thinking he will get better.

Im sorry your going through any of this right now hun. I wish he was more supportive of YOUR needs. (( HUGS ))

Pokey757 · 11-03-2005, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

Im sorry your going through any of this right now hun. I wish he was more supportive of YOUR needs. (( HUGS ))

thanks, i could use a big hug right now!

lealphachienne · 11-03-2005, 04:29 PM

First, and foremost, this is your time to care for yourself. When you're in a better place, then you can beter cope and deal with others issues. It's a tough battle to slug through. It's also normal and par for the course.