Help me pals - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

bridgetgirl · 09-21-2005, 02:32 PM

Yeah its too much to think about, having a longdistance relationship. Come to find out he doesnt belieive in marriage, in short that makes me feel that he doesnt believe in me.

So *F* him right?

I have been chatting with Linda and Robin for about an hour, I feel so much better. Thank you stapler sisters. The saddness of all of this must be written all over my face... my co worker asked me if I was feeling okay-that I dont look good.... like I told Robin and Linda, I'll be okay I have chocolate chip cookies at home.

Thanks right wingers, y'all aint so bad. I am just so grateful that Al Gore invented the internet so we could keep connected! lmfao!

Realtor Linda · 09-21-2005, 03:08 PM

What a riot Bridget! If ya have to believe that to make you feel better....then I'll let that one go! ha ha ha
1 of 2 rightwingers

katlover66 · 09-21-2005, 03:57 PM

Bridget,
It will all work out. remember you will find the one you're meant to be with, just be patient and don't look to hard. He will find you.

bridgetgirl · 09-21-2005, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katlover66

Bridget,
It will all work out. remember you will find the one you're meant to be with, just be patient and don't look to hard. He will find you.

Thank ya Katy.. much appreciated lil lady! Im in no rush n stuff

Bypassingme619 · 09-21-2005, 04:43 PM

Bridget BIG ((HUG)). I have had my fair share of millitary relationships(please don't ask me why). But they all ended the same way, they get shipped off and either they got someone else pregnant before I could break it off or I broke it off before they left. Sweety if Stan and you are meant to be then you two shall be together again when the time is right. Maybe this is time you might need for your self maybe when Stan comes back he will be ready to make you his wife. Good things happen in time. You never know what the feature holds. If he is yours the Lord will send him back your way. I wish I could be more support to you. Maybe we can make a girls nite out and take bridget dancing.

bridgetgirl · 09-21-2005, 05:27 PM

Denise, that is incredibly sweet of you. The military thang, ugh! Thats why I usually never date 'em... hadnt dated a military dude for 7 years before Stan... and damn the luck-he is shipped off!

Its all good-I will take you up on that dancing offer! I wanna go out tomorrow night with Jeannie, and who ever else, to "clear my head" and fill it with really loud music!!!!!

I need a babysitter.. any takers? lol C'mon Isaiah is adorable!

If I find one, im out tomorrow night... gonnna wear that sexy shirt Jeannie turned down so Janice offered it this way...holy moly! Who let my back out?! lol

Thanks again peeps for all the encouragement, I am starting to feel better-for now.

Peckkale · 09-21-2005, 06:37 PM

People who don't believe in marriage don't believe in themselves (or their ability to make an intelligent choice), love, or life.

Trust me here girl, he will one day come to regret letting you get away from him.

Blueyz · 09-21-2005, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

I decided today to cut things off with Stan. Im trying to be strong about it, but its starting to "hurt" a little. Everything bewteen he and I is GREAT! SUPER! WONDERFUL even.... but I found out he's leaving for 3 years, not 2 and I really do not want to have a long distance relationship. In my heart I know it wont work its too great of a distance as well as time. I want more for myself. I dont see him asking me to marry him or anything like that, so I feel its best to move on.

All I want to do is grow old with someone, white picket fence, yada yada yada... but it always falls through. <sigh>

I dont have a best friend or anyone to talk to about these things without feeling like a burden, so I just wanted to put it out there, to kind of get it off my chest because my heart is just aching.

Do you guys have any thoughts on this? Am I being too hasty? Im sad. Thanks pals!

You may not have a best firend, but you have all of us. It will get better...prince charming is out there. I thought after my divorce that I would never find anyone and look...I have Tino...the best guy in the whole world!!!

09-21-2005, 08:10 PM

Hey girl,

Yo gotta do what ya gotta do.

I know that I was not cut out for military life, thats why when I met my husband and he wanted to re- enlist I said see ya!!

As you may have figured out, he did not re- enlist and we have been together since.

It is a tough life the military and if he doesn't even want to consider marriage, what does that make you??

Moooooove on!!!!

Rain

sdgrrl · 09-21-2005, 08:42 PM

Because I never met Stan, and I have met you, Bridget, please allow me to be a little pragmatic. So you and Stan are together and everything is great between you. That's way cool. But he "doesn't believe in marriage." A lotta guys who say that don't believe in marriage because they feel like they couldn't mess around, it's really that they don't believe in the SANCTITY of marriage. That's big stuff.

So let's imagine Stan realizes he's about to leave the best part of his life and wants to marry you. You two get married, then he deploys. Now you are without your mate for three (count em, 3) years, knowing that he doesn't really respect the sanctity of the vows the two of you took. But you DO believe in the sanctity of the vows you took, so you can't look at anyone else, even if they are the ONE, because you are married to someone who is many miles away.

So as time goes by, you start to feel resentful and suspicious, and he starts to feel like his leg is in a trap and wants to chew it off, maybe he finds someone, then he starts to feel resentful and angry that he is married and that means he can't mess around, or he might piss you off and then all hell will break loose. About this time is when you get one of "those" letters, and it's awful, and it's made just that much worse because now you have to pay a freakin' lawyer to undo this.

Maybe there's another scenario. You two are each other's lobsters. You correspond, email, phone, meet for r&r, and the passion builds because you only have so many days together. Then when his deployment is over, you two get married, and you know each other 3 years better.

Or maybe you go out with the grrls, and someone fine casts his bedroom eyes around the room, and they land on you. He's great. He believes in marriage. He loves your kids. He has a good job, and he treats you like a queen. Aren't you glad you aren't married to someone half a world away?

Bridget, I am very sorry your life is taking you down this path right now. It's hard, and sad, and I'm betting those 3 shame stooges of unworthy, inadequate, and incompetent are beating down your door. Him leaving and you deciding to do what's right for you and takes care of you is good. and you are worthy, competent, and waaaaaay more than adequate, sweetie. Your friends will hold you up so you don't fall. Your strength will see you through. Your kids will make sure life goes on as usual.

Count on me to be one of those friends who hold you up.
Donna