What do you tell opposers? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

jkadiva · 11-06-2009, 10:44 PM

Hi all, I'm in need of advise. My manager found out that i'm in the process of having WLS. She called me in a meeting room and said that she doesn't think I should do it. She's about 5'4 probaly 125 lbs all muscle. Great body. She eats really really healthy and works out 3 hours a day everyday. She is determined that she can help me lose weight without the surgery.

I have my mind made up and my BF said that I am to nice and should just tell her to leave me alone. I already told her that I have tried everything and it may work for a couple of months but its nothing that I can keep up on my own forever.

The WLS will help me with restriction. I need something that will stop me from overeating and eating the wrong things. Ok if i do as she says, it will work, but what will help me from cheating and giving up?

She hasn't taken that i will think about what she says and get back with her. Shes just really adamant about it. I even told her that I will need her just to help with nutrition and excercise but I want to do the WLS for me.

Has anyone else gone thru this? What do you suggest I do about this? I have already decided that I'm going to do this and there is no doubt in my mind that I will not.

Josephine · 11-06-2009, 11:05 PM

How long before you have surgery?
Sounds like you've been offered a free trainer.
Take her up on her offer!! Work your butt off with her and keep on the WLS path.
Then when it's time to walk into that OR, you can decide if you still need help or not.

Peg · 11-06-2009, 11:33 PM

I'm just starting to tell friends and family about my up coming surgery. I've had several people tell me the same thing... "don't do it!", "I can help you lose the weight without surgery", etc. I just tell them Thanks, but I've spent a lot of time thinking this through and know this is the right thing for me; my mind is made up! We all need to take different paths to reach our goals. I just ask them to support me in my decision. Since she's your boss, I'd take the high road on this; the last thing you want is to create tension at work. Tell her you admire her and would really appreciate her help, especially after the surgery.

dswofford · 11-07-2009, 12:51 AM

You know I take it offensively when someone says oh you can do it without surgery. Really? Do you see how it has worked for me so far? Like I haven't tried to lose weight before and been unsuccessful.

I have been researching WLS for a while and I feel like it's the best thing for me. I appriciate that you want to help, but I've gotta tell you, you don't know me the way I know me. I need help consisting of more than a cheerleader telling me I can do it.

Ok, I am done. That's my 2 cents (or a buck fifty) worth.

Christi · 11-07-2009, 03:11 AM

I would take her up on her offer and express to her that you would also like her help after WLS. I agree with Peg about causing undo tension at work, but you have to stand your ground. You are doing this for yourself and your health not for others.

Josephine is right about working your butt off then when it comes time to walk in the OR you can decide if you still want to do WLS.

Good Luck!

Aomiel · 11-07-2009, 03:51 AM

Sadly, considering that more than half the people in this country are overweight, most people still think that we're fat because we're 'lazy, stupid, unmotivated, weak-willed, yada yada'. They believe that if we'd just 'do it', we'd magically lose weight.

If true, there wouldn't be such an epidemic of obesity in this country.

I would politely explain to your manager that until she's walked in your shoes, she really has no idea of your struggle with your weight and that, after much research, you've decided this is what you need to do.

For those who are obnoxious enough to continue, I'd be less polite as time goes on and tell them that while you appreciate their concern, the topic is no longer up for discussion.

.

poet_kelly · 11-07-2009, 08:03 AM

I would just say, "My doctor and I have decided that this is best for me." If she continued to tell you not to do it, I would say, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to discuss it anymore. My doctor and I have made up our minds."

Kelly

TxHunni · 11-07-2009, 08:10 AM

Aomiel - this is the best response!

I was at such a loss for words when my good friend started in on me at how drastic it was and if I just worked harder and dieted and exercise, the weight would come off. So much so that I haven't spoken to her since.

Not because I'm mad, but because I don't want the confrontation. I was in such shock, I didn't know what to say. Now I have the words I want to use. Thank you.

Lynette · 11-07-2009, 08:14 AM

No, no one questioned my decision...outloud anyways but if it were anyone but my boss I would just tell them to back off. I'd try to embaress the lady into backing off by insinuating you have other *personal* medical problems that indicate the surgery and your doctor has said you need it. Hopefully that will get her to realize that your personal medical issues are none of her damn business and it is highly inappropriate for her to have this discussion with you. Don't talk to her about it or she will feel she has the right to have an opinion which she does not!

lvl0rg4n · 11-07-2009, 09:51 AM

Though your boss may be a little over bearing, you are lucky to have someone care about you that is outside of your immediate family. I had a coworker find out and all he did was tell me that I'd fail and end up fat again after I lost all the weight.

So, as far as what to do, I'd thank her for her offer and her opinion, but stick with "this is what my doctor and I have decided" as recommended by Kelly.