Delane

And also since whe is going to Florida, she could right him a Jane doe, if she is affraid. Then just leave and go to florida. Like my Granny use to say. The BED IS MADE NOW YOU HAVE TO LAY IN IT. Or she would say you made the bed with the LIE IN IT, Now you have to figuar out how to change the mess.

I think at this point you have to think of protecting yourself, if you are affraid of him.

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Aomiel

Tara,

You've gone through an amazing physical transition in the last year and even the best of us will struggle with the emotional roller coaster ride that comes with it.

My .02...put all male relationships on hold and rediscover who *you* really are now because until you do that, any relationship is doomed. Get out of the dating scene. Stop the partying. Explore new interests. Develop new hobbies. You may also find that the 'fiance' is not right for you either and you had just 'settled' because of being overweight.

If you decide to stick with the fiancee, I agree with everyone else. He deserves the truth. Better he finds out now than after you're married.

.

Karlos

Oh what a tangled web we weave or what.

I can understand completely how you got yourself in to this situation. Fat people are not used to "nice" attention. The only attention we get is dickheads being rude, or well meaning people telling us we should really do something about our weight.

Suddenly we are transformed from fat waddling ugly Ducklings into Swans, especially in your case hun as you are really a very beautiful Swan. The attention we then get is like an LSD trip. We can be consumed by it, we feel great we look great and wow suddenly people we never felt available are open to us. Is is fantastic is it not?

So honey I can understand your getting into this mess. I will not judge you it's not my place. You had cheated on your fiance and he knows, you were not together when chummy entered your life so heck why not.

I think you need to ask yourself is this boyfriend, and I use the term loosely he sounds like a complete tosser to me (Ooops judgemental there sorry) really capable of getting someone to hurt you? If you feel he is then you need to speak to your local Police and tell them you are in a worrying situation and ask their advice as to what you should do to protect yourself.

You as I see it have two options

Tell your fiance everything and ask if he still wants you to move to FL. If he does great move there and write to the numpty telling him thanks for everything but its over. If your fiance tells you to do one, well you can either stick with the boyfriend or break from them both.

Say nothing to the fiance move to FL and hope he never finds out (Unlikely) and that you can live with the lie until he does find out then start the whole cycle again.

Difficult. I am not qualified to advise you what is the best course of action, I would need to know you much better to do that. Search your heart and do whats best for you. You owe neither your boyfriend nor fiance anything here. They are adults and crap happens to adults, do what you think is the best for you. The one thing that you cannot run from is yourself.

I doubt if this has been any help at all girl, but I feel for you and hope it works out whatever you decide xxx

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Karl


Height 5' 9"
DOS 07 February 2009
Highest / Pre-op / Current / Goal
400 / 345 / 201 / 196
199 Down 5 to go

kantonucci

I just want to say that I have read all of the feedback given to this girl and coming from a pre-op person I am taken aback a bit.

What she did may not be ideal, but lets face it, it happens. I have seen fat, skinny, beautiful, ugly people all do the same thing. I'm not saying it's right, but realistically it happens. Again, not that it's right, but she has admitted that what she has done is wrong and is looking for advice.

My opinion, is that you need to really decide how you feel about your fiance. If you truely love him and aren't just going to be with him out of guilt or some some other reason, then work it out with him. The boyfriend sounds like a real piece of work. If you are still planning to move out of state maybe you can meet up with the boyfriend in a public place (drive separately) right before you are planning to leave and tell him the truth. Take someone with you if you really think you are going to be putting yourself at risk. If that's not an option, make the phone call, but either way he needs to know you've moved on.

There are some very strong opinions on this board and I think that helps the dynamic here. I know I respect and appreciate the opinions of everyone here.

Best of luck! I hope you find what you are looking for.

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I refuse to dig my grave with my own knife and fork

Kelly