Having a down day - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

BrandnewMe · 11-04-2009, 11:08 AM

Ok, I'm trying to be positive today. I'm trying to feel good but it's just not working! I am sinking and I hate it. I'm trying not to cry at my desk and I don't normally have that issue.

I feel like I'm not doing this correctly, like I'm floundering. I don't know if I'm eating right, exercising enough, etc.

My sister keeps asking my weight and telling people she knows I've had surgery which kinda bugs me right now because I wasn't being that open with it and now I'm worried I'm not going to lose weight and that she's going to be telling people I'm failing at it.

Yesterday, one of my female coworkers (there are only 4 in the building and we are all friends I thought) brings the girl that sits in the cube adjoining mine a candle. She was telling her about it and I went over and joined the conversation, etc. Just before 5, I went into my boss's office (the 4th of our group) and there sits a candle just like what my cube partner got. Now, I don't really care to have a candle, but I wonder what I've done to upset this lady that she gave everyone else a candle and not me? I know you can't be liked by everyone but it hurts my feelings a bit. She has been distant since I had my surgery (she's not heavy). She vocally opposed me having it in a meeting by saying, 'you're a beautiful girl, you need to accept who you are.' I told her at that time it wasn't about accepting me as I was but that my health was declining and this was the best option to get myself healthy again. Nothing more was said after that regarding surgery or how I've been since, we just ignore it.

I'm sure yesterday's events are in the back of my head. I know it shouldn't bug me but it does. Then along with everything else, I just seem lost today. Michael could tell something was wrong over the phone and so could my mom. I told them it was just a bad day at work because I didn't want to get into it at the time, I can tell them tonight and not while I'm trying to hold myself together at work.

Deep down, I know this is all irrational thinking but I can't seem to stop it today! Any suggestions on how to pull myself out of this funk?

Jeanie · 11-04-2009, 11:24 AM

Its normal to have bad days. What your co-worker did was very mean, and I'm sure she did it on purpose. Don't let people like that get you down. They are not worth your tears. I'm sure once you get home to everyone that loves you all will be better.
Sorry you are having such a bad day & i hope that it gets a lot better!

Vikkator · 11-04-2009, 11:31 AM

Try not to let things get to you. I agree that this woman is just being mean. I used to work in an office setting (glad I work at home for a one-man-show now) but I remember feeling left out like that when people would give things to each other and leave me out, or go to lunch and not ask me, etc. etc.

Try to rise above it. I know it's hard. Try to focus on something else, something positive. Think about things that make you feel good (like losing weight). You ARE a beautiful person and no one can take that away from you. Don't let the bitches of this world get to you. If you focus on the more positive aspects of things going on around you, I think it can help.

Amilea · 11-04-2009, 11:43 AM

Oh! *big hugs*

Things like that can destroy me some days too. Some rational part of me knows it isn't likely personal - saying more about them than me at best - but man... It has to be especially hard since there are only the four of you ladies. Not like you can go 'hang out' with a different crowd.

I work in Irving and it is a beautiful day out here. Maybe a walk at lunch? You are probably right in that talking about it later when you don't have to hold yourself together will help. But maybe escaping for a bit, or doing something you don't normally do would help? (reorganize your desk?)

If you find something that works, please let me know. This is something I struggle with fairly often.

*more big hugs*

PaigeTaylor · 11-04-2009, 11:57 AM

Rae-I'm sorry you had a bad day. That type of behavior can be so hurtful. It makes me think of when your a little girl and everybody gets an invite to the birthday party but you. It's hard to get over especially when you have to see that same person the very next day. I hope you were able to go home an cuddle with your girls and know what a great person you are, you don't need a candle to prove that

Highlandlass · 11-04-2009, 12:23 PM

Hi, You are only about 6 weeks out of major surgery - your body, mind and spirit are all making great changes and adjustments - you are bound to have a bad weepy day once in a while. There are probably loads of hormones trapped in the fat and are being let loose to play havoc with your emotional state. To top things off your coworker hurt your feelings - I totally get it. Offices are political places where you spend the better part of your day, but those people are not always friends, are certainly not family - they are co workers and they can really affect you emotionally - after all you spend more waking hours with them than you do with your family memebers. This woman seemed to know how to press your buttons - don't let her know it though! Rise above them, be happy with the beautiful person you are. Outside of work you have so many things going for you - your life is not all wrapped up in the "you" that you are at work. Keep on smiling, get out for a nice walk, get some fresh air, have a nice cold protein shake (yuk) and really concentrate on "you" not "them". (((((( hugs ))))))

Shetaz0028 · 11-04-2009, 01:03 PM

Sweetie,

You know I adore you and wish I could come over there and beat that woman with a nerf bat but, I can't. I have been in your same position and know how much it hurts. Even though it seems like it should not bother at all it does. Even now when I think of it my heart does a lil tug.

As far as the funk goes lovely lady. Remember that fat has been holding your hormones hostage for a long time and now that the fat is releasing them your brain has to deal with them. They are some wicked nasty lil buggers too. Just take it one day at a time.

I have gotten through these times with the wonderful advise our lovely Corrine and Lady Beth gave me. Keep your wow moments written down and close by. Refer to them when you are feeling low. I have a full legal sized page pined to my cube wall that I have just completly filled. Things from, "I took the stairs 3 flights". To "my toes are no longer smooshed in my shoes".

Luv ya much girly ~*~HUGE HUGS~*~

BrandnewMe · 11-04-2009, 01:12 PM

I did get out at lunch and took a drive with the windows open, music blaring, and the sun roof back. This was alot more fun when I had my 71 Cougar Convertible but I probably am less likely to get tickets in my beetle bug! It did me some good to get out for a bit.

I hadn't thought about the hormones thing. I need to mention that to my mom since she's the best at telling when things are wrong. That way she'll know it could just be hormonal and there's nothing I can do about it, etc etc.

Well, only 3 more hours to go! LOL. Then if I need to go home and cry I can. I bought a new Wii DVD that Pilates. I think I will try it tonight and see if doing something new gives me a different outlook.

Amilea · 11-04-2009, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shetaz0028

Remember that fat has been holding your hormones hostage for a long time and now that the fat is releasing them your brain has to deal with them. They are some wicked nasty lil buggers too.

You know, I had read this a few times, but never considered the implications. Is it any wonder losing weight is so hard when it releases all these PMS hormones and makes us crazy? As if a few days a month isn't bad enough!

And of course, what helps PMS? CHOCOLATE! CARB LOADING! And liquor... lots and lots of it. hahaha.

Easy way out my fat *ss!

Good for you getting out in the fresh air. It is amazing weather we have been having the last several days!

kovy · 11-04-2009, 01:28 PM

grrrr!!! i HATE it when people are like that! i even tend to be a little hypersensitive and have had people play head games just to make me feel like poo. what's worse is, my first instinct in a situation like that is to be a little bit evil and passive aggressive. i'd buy myself a candle and bring it to work, making sure to make some joke of it in front of her about "being in the club."

actually, i'd prolly just THINK about doing it...and then feel guilty. LOL

don't let her get you down, just think of all the awesomeness you are doing for yourself!

p.s. i am totally jealous of your wii. we were supposed to get one, but hubby just HAD to have his PS3 first! LOL