As most all of you know, this is Trina (aka AlabamaChick)This is a post I need to write for my own emotional well being and to finally let all of my friends here know what is going on with me, so bear with me since it will be super long. I have been afraid to open up here, but this needs to be done now. You don't have to read it if you don't want, but I have my reasons for needing to do this so my children and I can start to heal. You will understand as I unveil all I have been through and the purpose for this. Here it goes....
*deep breath*Apparently, my ex "boyfriend" whom I lived with me for 8 1/2 years thinks that it is fun to "expose" what a bad person I am because I was obese and almost died and then took control of my life and became healthy and beautiful and kicked his sorry, lazy, con artist a$$ to the curb for all the bad things he has done to my children and me over these years.
This is a post for YOU, James (Puffnstuff/Phoenixdog/Bittie/Lilbittie/Doggone/Hairydog/Phoenix/SwetSouthern), and the people that actually have nothing better to do in life than relish in someone else's pain and suffering. Guess they get a two for the price of one now, huh? They can see what YOU are, ya monster! And it is also for me to get the much needed support from my friends here now to get me through this horrid time. For the people that have come here to read "the dirt", keep reading so you can now understand.
For my friends here to understand, James Branham is my ex and we played an online game together, which nobody in this game cared for him at all. Actually, nobody in real life does either! They think he is a freak and needs help, which he does and everyone will know this now for sure now. He is posting my pre-op pics and a link to this site all over the internet so everyone can read all of my posts and see my deepest fears and struggles that came from this disease. Somehow, he thinks this makes me a horrible person. Just goes to show what a sick mind he has. I think everyone will see exactly the opposite and see what this surgery has done for me and my children by giving me my life back! And hopefully actually educate them so they will be more understanding of someone in their life that may be dealing with this horrible disease or that they may actually even be dealing with it themselves. So read on folks, get a world of information here. This site is the BEST! My friends and support here have gotten me through so much and I will NOT let some psycho idiot take that from me!
The worst of what this man did to my children and me happened the night my granddaughter was born (Aug. 17th) that I had posted to you guys about, but didn't go into details because I was afraid to talk here. He called me at the hospital screaming and acting very erratic and I was afraid to come home. So, I called my cop friend who had just gotten off duty and asked if he could get him out of my house because I didn't feel safe. He told me I would have to evict him which is a legal process, but he would come to my house with me to make sure things were okay for my daughter and me to stay there. I didn't want to do this because James is very good at putting up a front in front of people (he's a compulsive, very good liar) and then changing completely when they are gone, so it would have made things worse. James had threatened to commit suicide on so many occasions before this night and I always begged him to get a grip and straighten out his head and I always took him back and tried to love him back into a stable emotional state, which was a HUGE mistake on my part. But I felt I could help him. I was WRONG! It was worse than I ever imagined.
This night I took my son and his 4 friends home with my daughter and me and when we arrived, all the lights were on, broken phone and bible on porch, and my gun case in the middle of my bedroom floor with bullets all over my bed and he was nowhere to be found in the house. Bullet hole over my pillow in the wall in my bedroom and over my computer desk where I sit all the time to work. My son and his friends started going around outside to find him. I was scared for my children's lives and my own life. I begged my son to wait for the authorities, but he wouldn't. I guess he felt he could stop him from hurting himself. I called 911 and my daughter and I ran to a neighbor’s house and woke them up so we could go in and be safe. When the authorities arrived, they found him in the backyard with a rifle barrel pointed under his chin threatening to kill himself if they didn't leave and I didn't come out to talk to him. He ran them out into the front yard and was screaming my name for me to come out to him. I refused until he put the gun down. After about 20 mins of him cussing and screaming my name and blaming my children for all his problems, he shot himself under the chin and it came out between his eyes. Talk about LUCKY!! My daughter and I heard him screaming my name and then the gunshot. That will be in our heads forever!!! My son was standing outside and witnesses the whole thing and saw his face when he did it, and this on the night of his own child's birth. Talk about screwing someone's head up. This is something my children and I will live with for the rest of our lives and on the night of my grandbaby's birth. He took that from us and we can NEVER get that back again! I hate him for this!
He actually thought after what he did that I was going to run to his side. He cared about nobody, but himself. He did not care what emotional trauma it put me or my children through. We will never forgive him!
He told his family that he never meant to pull the trigger. It was an accident but he knew if he could get me to come out that I would have taken him back and everything would have been fine. He really thought in his own sick mind that this would make me love him more? Wow........just WOW! Welcome to the sane world James! You don't threaten suicide and try to follow through with it and it makes someone love you. It scares the sh&t out of them! HELLOOOO!!
With me still being the loving, caring person, I gave him his computer at the hospital after his surgery and what did he do? He immediately broke his protection order that had been served on him from me and contacted me through email to let me know he has my pre op pics and started passing them out to people. He has continued to harass me through people I am acquainted and friends with. I was hoping after a few months he would move on to another victim, but seems he hasn't gotten all the enjoyment out of this one yet.
I have since had to go to the doctor to get help to deal with this. I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome and Xanax is my friend for sleep now. I cannot sleep at night. I have panic attacks when it starts to get dark outside. If I leave my house, I don't want to come back home. I have anxiety the closer I get. I loved this man with all my heart and I truly believed he just needed someone who really loved him to help him get where he needs to be and I was so very wrong. I gave him my soul I feel. For this, I am paying dearly. I don't know if I will ever be able to straighten my head out after this.
To fill in some more details about him..........he was in prison for 4 years for grand larceny before I met him. I didn't know at the time I met him that he had several warrants against him and his license revoked due to these warrants for bad checks and traffic fines he didn't pay or even show up to court for. BTW.......when he was arrested for these, I bailed him out and paid off thousands of dollars of fines to clear him because he was already a part of my children's lives and I couldn't allow him to be taken away that way for their sake. This is just the tip of the iceberg of what all he has put me through.
He will NOT work and be responsible......he's lazy. He's addicted to an online video game, and does not live in the sane world. He is a compulsive liar that does not even know what the truth is anymore. He even went so far as to make up lies about events that happened in his life to get me to feel he was a victim! He drained me financially, was emotionally abusive and to an extent physically abusive to my children. He was emotionally abusive to me. He ripped my head apart inside and I can't get it straightened back out now because of him. He probably has the mentality of a 14 or 15 year old. He does not know how to take care of himself like a responsible adult. He would run around behind my back doing things like an out of control teenager that I had to constantly guess what his next move would be. He turned me into someone I was not proud of due to having to deal with him.
I was born into a very loving and caring family that taught me what love is about and how family should be. I was taught how to be a decent human being and have compassion. I was taught how to trust, maybe to an extent that was not healthy for me because of people like James in this world. I allowed him to work me almost to death literally because it required me to work 24/7, to neglect my children just to keep us above the water to give him the new vehicles he conned me into buying him and all the luxuries I gave him while he did not help and gave me all the broken promises! I was never morbidly obese and I never had health problems until after a couple of years with this man. I blame him for all I have been through with this disease. I allowed him to take over my life and cause me to become someone I was not and I ate myself into an oblivion while I worked like a slave and isolated myself from the world and my family. He put me in a mental place I would have never gone without him driving me there. I closed my eyes to the world around me and what was happening and now I am paying the price for allowing him to do this to me through his abuse and compulsive lies and empty promises. He took all of my dreams and hopes of a future away from me. At the end, there was a point I had no smile for anyone anymore. I had no dreams for my life anymore. I had nothing, but my children, to care about. He took all of my friends away.
I found out recently he was stalking another female online while he was living with me, making sexual remarks to her and coming onto her. This woman is really afraid of him. This makes me want to vomit!
I have watched him torture other people and always told him I did not want this in the house around my children. He never cared and never changed. He continued to do mean and harsh things to people. It was almost as if he enjoyed doing these things and if there was nothing to do, he would create something. I honestly believe his internal “right versus wrong button” is broken.
I had been telling him for a couple of years he was not healthy for me and he needed to find a way to get out on his own, but he always made that impossible so he had a reason to stay. Being the good person I am and loving him, I would not just kick him out on the street and he knew this. He knew he couldn’t be around anymore once Aurora was born though. That was his deadline…..
I know you are all sitting here scratching your heads wondering why I gave this man so many chances. Well, I do that too now. I loved him like I have never loved anyone and I did believe for a few years I could make things better and he would be responsible, but I was wrong. I have learned some really good lessons through all of this. One is, I will NOT live my life in fear of someone else!! So, I own up to my life and what has happened to me and if people do not care about me for me, then I don’t need them!
I will say I have found a wonderful man that is helping me get through this and calls me beautiful every day. I don’t know where he came from, but I am sure God had him on standby for a while now because he was under my nose for a long time and I never even looked his way until now. I never knew there could be someone so kind, compassionate, and caring. The best part is he accepts me for me and what I have been through and still cares! It’s wonderful to have someone to touch in real life that you know truly cares. He is the best friend I could have ever asked for!
So, eat your heart out James. I am becoming happy. I will work through all this sh*t in my head from you. I know I am beautiful inside and out and I am going to have a good life! I removed all of my pics from this site because I was trying to hide, but since I am not going to hide now, I am attaching a picture of myself (some of you have already seen recently) so everyone can see how full of life I am! I don’t think anyone can judge me for the end result I got from this surgery. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my children and grandbaby, which I live for………….
Trina's (Aryell) Story
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