Odd Emotions - ThinnerTimes

rodaniel · 08-15-2005, 09:51 AM

I wondered if anyone else had experienced a feeling that I've been experiencing lately...

I'm a year and one week post-op and feeling very good about my progress. I've lost about 120 lbs. I've gone from pants size 60 to 46 and shirts 4x/5x to XL/2X (depending on the brand and cut). I feel blessed to have had a speedy and relatively easy recovery and have had very few problems along the way. Figuring out what I can and can't eat has been pretty smooth with only a handful of dumping incidents and I've not ever actually thrown up - even though I probably would've been better off having done so a few times, I'm just too damned stubborn (and initially afraid) to succomb to it.

At any rate, lately I've been feeling kinda "homesick." That is, as much as I'm enjoying the new freedoms that losing weight is opening up to me both physically and psychologically, I kinda miss the newness of it all. I miss the feeling of the unknown and the rapid pace of changes that were occuring initally. It seems a little twisted, but I kinda miss the healing process and discovering all the new things about myself as the weight seemed to melt away - like collarbones!

And I geuss I hafta admit that I sorta miss the ego boost that came from the supportive and encouraging words from people noticing the changes. Mind you, I still get nice comments from people, but not as often. I've never doubted that I made the right choice - not even once - and I'm convinced that God validated my decision by blessing me with such an easy recovery, but it sure did felt warm and fuzzy to have that constant validation from so many others who liked the outcome, even if not the means to get there.

Anybody else experience this feeling of nostalgia for those first few post-op months?

Rob

watergirl · 08-15-2005, 09:58 AM

Although I still get them too!

I have been trying to find ways to fulfill whatever it is that I feel is missing from my life. I'm still in the discovery phase of this and have yet to figure it out. This is what I have tried. I'm mixing up my exercise regimen in an attempt to make changes. I liked the changes that WLS brought, so I figure, maybe with some work, I can work on the skin issue with exercise. That's a positive attempt with a positive outcome, which should bring self satisfaction. I do figure it must come from within if it's not coming from outside. You know what I mean?

So, I share in your quest! I wish you much luck in your continuing journey.

bridgetgirl · 08-15-2005, 09:59 AM

Dude, you are totally not alone... check this out 1 1/2 years or more out

as well as many other similar posts under the long term post op section.... I totally feel ya brother!

lealphachienne · 08-15-2005, 10:23 AM

As they say, the honeymoon's over. It's like any other realtionship. There's a lot of bliss and wonder in the beginning. As it matures, you learn to find other ways to seek fulfilment. SOmetimes you learn how to accept the ho-hums in life. You can always have plastic surgery. Then you get to go through the whole process again

LizardQueen · 08-15-2005, 11:21 AM

I'm tired of all the comments! I know that sounds weird but I'm a pretty private person and I'm tired of hearing about it already. I know I've lost weight! I know people's intentions are good and I just smile and say thanks but I'd kind of like to drop it. Apparently Friday I wore some bizarre skinny outfit that made me look much smaller because I got 21 comments on Friday alone! I work with 89 other people so it's not that strange that I talk to so many. Now I'm getting the ever dreaded,"Don't lose too much more!" and"How do you stop losing?" I try to explain how much weight I have left to lose and that it should taper off on it's own but I just want to be Amber not that lady who had gastric bypass. I guess that's the price you pay for living in a small town and working at gossip central. Sorry to rant but I'm kinda having a rough day today!

rodaniel · 08-16-2005, 07:29 PM

Another odd psychological thing I've noticed is that the changes that my body is going through are not yet fully in sync with my brain. I couldn't really tell I was losing so much in the beginning. But even now (though I'm well aware that I've lost a great deal in both pounds and inches) my mind is still not caught up.

I bought a couple of new shirts a few weekends ago and I realized that everytime I was putting a shirt over my head I was thinking, "No way is this little shirt going to fit or be comfortable." Yet, most of what I tried on did fit well - and some things were even baggy! Seems like the mental image I have of myself is still lagging behind - buying an XL or 2X shirt seems kinda surreal. I tried on an XL button down shirt (just to see by how much it would not fit) and was simply floored - the shirt was a little snug, but by golly, it fit and was pretty comfy!

Anyone else noticed this lag between actual body and mental body image?

Rob

rodaniel · 08-16-2005, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LizardQueen

I'm tired of all the comments! I know that sounds weird but I'm a pretty private person and I'm tired of hearing about it already. I know I've lost weight! I know people's intentions are good and I just smile and say thanks but I'd kind of like to drop it. Apparently Friday I wore some bizarre skinny outfit that made me look much smaller because I got 21 comments on Friday alone! I work with 89 other people so it's not that strange that I talk to so many. Now I'm getting the ever dreaded,"Don't lose too much more!" and"How do you stop losing?" I try to explain how much weight I have left to lose and that it should taper off on it's own but I just want to be Amber not that lady who had gastric bypass. I guess that's the price you pay for living in a small town and working at gossip central. Sorry to rant but I'm kinda having a rough day today!

LQ, I've heard others with the same complaint and I understand how intrusive some people can be with their commentary but I usually chalk it up to jealousy or insecurity on their part.

And some of the women in my support group are really upset about being noticed by men, but I (jokingly) say to that, "Well, if you're going to continue to get better looking, you've gotta brace yourself to continue to get compliments from us guys."

Most of my co-workers are big guys and I've discovered that it was much easier for them to maintain a feeling of superiority over me when I outsized them. But once I got down to weighing less and wearing smaller clothes than them, some of them seemed to become rather bitter about my success.

But, y'know, I made the tough choice. I laid down on that surgical table. I made the tough life-long lifestyle commitments. And I'm damned glad and proud that I did all of that - and I did it for me, not for them.

While the Dunlap boys (their guts have done lapped over the belts) at work are wolfing down Krispy Kremes and feeling bitter about my success, I'm becoming a new me and if they can't deal with that, well, its just too stinkin' tough!

Rob

veroniquetalk · 08-17-2005, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LizardQueen

I'm tired of all the comments! I know that sounds weird but I'm a pretty private person and I'm tired of hearing about it already. I know I've lost weight! I know people's intentions are good and I just smile and say thanks but I'd kind of like to drop it. Apparently Friday I wore some bizarre skinny outfit that made me look much smaller because I got 21 comments on Friday alone! I work with 89 other people so it's not that strange that I talk to so many. Now I'm getting the ever dreaded,"Don't lose too much more!" and"How do you stop losing?" I try to explain how much weight I have left to lose and that it should taper off on it's own but I just want to be Amber not that lady who had gastric bypass. I guess that's the price you pay for living in a small town and working at gossip central. Sorry to rant but I'm kinda having a rough day today!

I am a pretty private person, too. When I lost weight last time I had several people at work who I don't talk to on a personal level comment on how good I looked. It bothered me even though I know their intent was to be nice. I loved it when my friends said something but felt uncomfortable when others did. I will be going back to work in a week and a half and expect the same thing.