My life in a nutshell... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Mandalagirl · 09-29-2009, 02:52 PM

So I have been dealing with some major depression. I think its as bad as my post partum depression after I had my daughter. I would like for you guys to read over what is going on...my doc thinks it is my life this is causing all of this, not my hormones. Any thoughts would help!

I got laid off on July 24. I was not happy at all about this, as it was the best job I have ever had. It felt like a breakup, but I did the positive thinking thing and said..."ok. One door closes another one opens".

Was that the understatement of the century.

I decided since I would have time off, I would go ahead and plan to get my tubes tied. I had my date set...and I discovered two weeks before surgery I had to have a hysderectomy instead. I had to fight really hard with the insurance company because I had cobra, but things worked out and everything was good. The surgery itself was very difficult for me painwise. I did not handle it well at all. It was alot harder than my RNY. But I had no major complications and I went home to recover.

The day I got home, I got my first unemployment check. It was for half of what I was supposed to get. I called the benefits line, got someone in india and I was told that I had to pay back an overpayment from 2003 of 5600 bucks. I knew I owed this money in the past, but I was under the impression I didn't have to pay it back because I filed bankruptcy. I paid my lawyer who filed it to send them a letter, because he did in fact tell me I shouldn't have to pay it. Well, wrong again. I didn't have to pay the interest or court fees. The initial overpayment I did have to pay. And please let me note here they paid me this in ERROR. I appealed but they won. I still don't understand how they can do that to someone. I called them to ask if I could get the payments lowered since I would only be getting 900 a month, and the lady was horribly mean to me! She told me she could take all my money if they wanted to, and I should be thankful they are only taking half! I cried my eyes out after that call. I didn't know what to say or think.

So, I'm recovering from surgery. I just find out I wont make enough money to even pay my rent and car payment. I felt like my entire world was crashing down on me and I was powerless and couldn't move around even to do anything about it.

Now, in the midst of all this I had been crying 2-3 times a day. I have a boyfriend. We have been together almost five years. We do not live together. Oh, and I do want to note I am also a single mom with no support from her father in over a year. The boyfriend and I have talked a little about moving in together. His lease is up at the end of October. I asked him if he wanted to move in with me and he told me not into the current apartment I am in, he feels it is too small for the three of us to live comfortably. My apartment is not very small. It would house us just fine. He is now unemployed too. I do not see how financially we can go wrong here by making this move and he is totally balking. So I have been coming to terms with our relationship and possibly ending that also. I feel he is being incredibly selfish. I have always put 100 percent into our relationship and he hasn't hardly had to lift a damned finger. So why do I stay? At this point...I love the man. But I also know decision time is right around the corner.

So..yah. I have a bunch of crap going on. Jobs have been hard to even come by to apply for. But I am hopeful. I am so distracted and unfocused I literally have to make to do lists on a daily basis to make it through the day. I know, this too shall pass but man! I am not sure how much more of this I can take.

I have made some plans though. I asked my mother in Tacoma if I do not find work by the end of October..if I could move up and start over with her. She has happily agreed. I have also had many friends offer me their places. But I feel the best choice would be with mom. I also let my boyfriend know, if I have to move up there we are over. I did already tell him that. I went to my 6 week checkup yesterday with the gyno and she said everything looks good. She feels I am just too stressed out but cannot prescribe me anything because I have no insurance.

I just hope something good happens soon. Thank you for reading this. I really just needed to write my thoughts and feelings out to people who understand how stress can affect their eating habits. At first mine were getting out of control but I have taken that back at least.

psjim2007 · 09-29-2009, 08:43 PM

I have been unemployed off and on for the last 3 1/2 years. I want to find a job but at the same time I would like to wait till I have surgery. I have heard that comment when one door closes another one opens. I haven't seen it happen yet, just a bunch of temp jobs that I am so tired of. I am hoping that after the surgery that I will be able to find something.

Mandalagirl · 09-29-2009, 08:50 PM

I do have more confidence with the interviewing process since weight loss. I feel in the past it has hampered peoples opinion of me. It may be good to get the hard stuff out of the way if you can

katzz87 · 09-29-2009, 09:59 PM

Anytime someone has a major crisis to deal with the stress is tremendous. But you have SEVERAL major decisions to contend with; and with depression fogging up your vision it is even more difficult to make good choices.

Is there a low-cost or no-cost clinic in your area that you can see? Is there a pharmacy (like Wal-Mart) that may have prescriptions a low cost (sometimes $4 for a months supply)?

Mandalagirl · 09-29-2009, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katzz87

Anytime someone has a major crisis to deal with the stress is tremendous. But you have SEVERAL major decisions to contend with; and with depression fogging up your vision it is even more difficult to make good choices.

Is there a low-cost or no-cost clinic in your area that you can see? Is there a pharmacy (like Wal-Mart) that may have prescriptions a low cost (sometimes $4 for a months supply)?

There are, but since I do not have medical now I cannot get a prescription..and my gyno didn't want to write me one because it requires follow up appts. The free clinics that are here do not provide mental health type stuff

Corrine · 09-30-2009, 06:12 AM

I can only imagine what you're going through sweetheart - my heart goes out to you.

A move to Tacoma might be the new start you need. There are definately more job opportunities and the other thing is that you can get to see me!

Seriously though - make sure you take care of yourself. Are you OK for vitamins/calcium? PM me - I'm always willing to share what I have.

hugs.

Jobu · 09-30-2009, 06:17 AM

I don't have much to offer in the way of advice....

but I can give you this...

Hopefully it will get your life out of that nutshell.. its gotta get cramped in there..

Josephine · 09-30-2009, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corrine

I can only imagine what you're going through sweetheart - my heart goes out to you.

A move to Tacoma might be the new start you need. There are definately more job opportunities and the other thing is that you can get to see me!

Seriously though - make sure you take care of yourself. Are you OK for vitamins/calcium? PM me - I'm always willing to share what I have.

hugs.

If I ever move back to Puyallup, I'm gonna come see you every month! You'll have to pull the curtains back and pretend not to be home. LOL!!

Manda - I hope everything gets better for you soon. Do you have a timeline? Like if it's not better in 60 days, you'll move in with your mom? Hang in there, your kiddo needs you hon.

poet_kelly · 09-30-2009, 10:14 AM

I'm sorry you're going through all this. No wonder you're depressed.

Most counties have funds through the mental health board to help pay for mental health treatment (both counseling and medication) for low income people. They do it on a sliding scale based on your income. Call your country mental health board and ask about this.

Kelly

Amandazon247 · 09-30-2009, 10:16 AM

Girl you know maybe its what you need..... I mean if this dude doesnt want to step forward in your relationship.. then all he is doing is standing still..... forget that... you have made major changes in your life to do better... and if he doesnt want to contribute then fine... A new body.. a new city .. a new life .. may just be what you need right now.... It will get better .. and girl you will get back to loving life.... I wish I could give you a big ol hug .. but from a distance just know... everything is going to be ok .... and it will get better...