Cruddy day at work - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

FatButNotHappy · 06-18-2009, 04:14 PM

I wonder if I am just being sesnitive or what....

I am an occupational therapy assistant in a skilled nursing facility. I work with seniors citizens, mostly. Between yesterday and today I have been called "fat" by three of my male patients.

Now, I do not try to hide my fat. I know I am fat. I know other people KNOW I am fat. I know that it is not a secret. I am out of the fat closet...so to speak. But, one conversation I head was with a man and one of my coworkers....he said "You have a very nice figure...I am tired of seeing all of the fatties around her, like HER for example." (pointing at me.)

Another comment: "well, hold on...we have to wait on her to get through, and trust me this is a LOT of weight to wait for...."

Today's comment, I went in to see why one of my favorite patients was still in bed after lunch...and we are just teasing each-other back and forth and he then says "I love FAT girls...." and I gave him this crushed look. Then he changed his mind and said "Oh, I mean I love SKINNY girls" and I said "Me too, I just ate one for lunch."

All of these comments were made in front of family or co-workers and I am feeling pretty cruddy and down because of it. I guess maybe I really have been hoping that nobody noticed I was fat. Much like children, elderly people are brutally honest.

TheFour · 06-18-2009, 04:35 PM

My line of work is in the healthcare arena (Hospitals and skilled care/assisted) Yes elderly folks are brutally honest. You would never think that, that cute nice little granny could be mean, but hold on. It sucks to work somewhere and be insulted. I can relate, but I always said that I needed the money more. I feel your pain but I do not have a solution but to let you know that i ve been there and I understand (as a matter of fact I am still there). It can be rough. Sending you happy vibes

katzz87 · 06-18-2009, 04:39 PM

Sorry you had such a sucky day. And I really do not understand why some people have to make such insensitive comments! Argh!!

When I was a receptionist I had this lady that I hadn't seen in a while come in a tell me "Geez, Cathy, you've sure gotten fat!". One of my first thoughts were: "Geez, I hadn't noticed...thanks for bringing it to my attention!" the second wasn't so nice: "I may be fat, but you're ugly...I can lose weight, and your just screwed!".

Of course, I just "smiled" and said "Yeah, I know"...pisses me off thinking about it even years later.

soon2bthin · 06-18-2009, 05:06 PM

So I am betting the jackass is a skinny peckerhead right? Most of the outspoken fatty haters are.

Just remember you can fix fat but you can't rude, stupid, and obnoxious.

Thats all I got. What a douche bag.

FatButNotHappy · 06-18-2009, 05:13 PM

Hi. Thanks for being sweet and relating to my pain (that is kinda an exaggerated term for it...)

What was so strange is two of these people are MY actual patients and we have a great relationship. I THOUGHT they liked me. Twirps. That is ok, tomorrow I am going to give them extra hard exercises and they will think twice before using the "F" word to me again.

I still love these guys....I am not bitter. But, it is making me realize I am really fatter than I thought I was. I kinda think I have reverse anorexia. In the mirror I look fine--but, in pictures--oh barf.

The one who made the "Fatties isnt MY patient...he isnt my patient, but he is a big goober. He wears shorts and suspenders every day. His family wants to pay a staff member five bucks a day to hold his cigarette for him when he goes outside to smoke. We arent allowed to do it. Ha ha ha. The bad thing is, he is deaf and yelled this for our entire gym to hear him. Grrrr. Like had he NOT said it out loud, maybe know one would have noticed???

ragazzarosa · 06-18-2009, 06:57 PM

Ugh. I used to have some great uncles who were clueless and said mean things about me and my skinny sister. Thing is, it p*ssed her off just as much as it did me. And NOT because they were making comments about me, but because of the presumption.

Point is, people like that do it to everyone. Do you think your colleague really appreciated having some old geezer tell her that she had a nice figure? Now she's gonna be worried that he's going to try to feel her up or that he's oogling her every time she's with him.

The comment today was meant well...he just didn't use the right words. I met some Jamaican (sp?) guy several years ago. He was a cutie and he told me that in Jamaica they would call me a "sweet, fat woman." I knew it was meant well, but I wasn't ready to hear the "F" word.

I had another old man (different situation) walk up to me once when I was walking with a co-worker and say "how much do you weigh?" I sniffed and said "that's none of your business." My co-worker (a tall cute blonde guy) said "How old are you?" Shut him up.

Sometimes you think of the right thing to say - and sometimes you gotta plot extra excecises the next day. It's all good.

Sherry_Lynn · 06-20-2009, 07:26 AM

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've been an LPN for 32 years, and I can't stand Geriatrics. I can never decide if these nasty old people just got this way, or were they mean and thoughtless all their lives? I'm betting they were buttheads right from the start! I'm a Pediatric Nurse..........Kids just love you the way you are!

Meaghan · 06-20-2009, 11:05 AM

Let me start by saying that I totally understand how you feel and think it's awful that people can be so thoughtless. These old guys probably aren't in the "happiest" place themselves, so it's easy to take it out on an innocent bystander (you). Not that it is an excuse, but if you think about their situation... maybe it will help and you can feel sorry for them rather than letting their rude comments hurt so much.

I would, however, zing them right back with a "stern" comment myself. Old or not, if you can dish it out then you better be able to take it in return! Not a lisence to be as cruel back but definitely they need to know (as anyone should) that you found their comment offensive.

Example; I was in a grocery store line (not 15 items or less mind you) and the gal at the register was using WIC coupons so it was taking a little longer than usual ~ no big deal, there were lines everywhere. The woman next in line, with her sole bottle of gin, was huffing and puffing and being rude in general (like she was somehow better than the WIC gal) ~ so out of my mouth came "get over it". I really didn't mean to say it, but I get so tired of mean people... I know she heard me but wouldn't look at me at all. My husband thinks I'm going to get into it with someone one day but that's not my point. I just can't stand rude people.

Anyway, good luck and I hope you're feeling better.

Baja Big Dog · 06-20-2009, 11:43 AM

You work with these people, yo must see them in their prime everyday, my dad is in an assisted care facility, and yes the old people can be brutally honest, I dont know how much sleep I would loose over and old guy saying something like that!!

FatButNotHappy · 06-20-2009, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baja Big Dog

You work with these people, yo must see them in their prime everyday, my dad is in an assisted care facility, and yes the old people can be brutally honest, I dont know how much sleep I would loose over and old guy saying something like that!!

Oh, i wasnt really bummed out so much that they SAID what they said...I am just bummed out that I am so obviously FAT!!!! Even with their crappy vision, they can still tell I am not a size 3. dammit.

We made up and I love the old goats again.