..... - Page 5 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

mistymee · 06-18-2009, 12:46 PM

Kelly.. my heart goes out to you. I agree with the others, that you need to find a way to get the hell out of that situation. I lived with an emotional abuser for a loooong time.. my self esteem was such that I couldn't get myself out and money was a big reason for it so I know what you are feeling.. my situation was exacerbated by the fact that I had two kids and he was a master manipulator who managed to fool the outside world into believing he was the best.guy.ever.

Do you have any girlfriends you could crash with, even temporarily? You laughingly joked about moving south at one point.. is there anything to that?

Unfortunately, you are going to have to do the work to rescue yourself, there isn't anyone that can do it for you.. but as you can see.. we can be here for you, emotionally to support you best we can. I *really* like Suzanne's idea of filing for FAFSA and going to school. Now that you are over the age limit, you can do your own fafsa, completely independent of your parents income and usually that means you would qualify for a lot more aid.. talk to a school you'd be interested in, to find out what options they offer. Look to your state human services for guidance.

Good luck to you, honey.. this is hard.

jerseygrl684 · 06-18-2009, 12:49 PM

.delete meeeeee

UndercoverDiva · 06-18-2009, 03:07 PM

I know it's a pain in the ass, but change your number, or at the very least, turn the phone off and leave it off until you need to use it.

jerseygrl684 · 06-18-2009, 03:28 PM

delete meeeeee

VeggieLover2004 · 06-18-2009, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerseygrl684

Well i'm ignoring the bf, because he is a giant sack of crap right now....

Oh no, what happened?

jerseygrl684 · 06-18-2009, 04:09 PM

delete meeeeee

LyndasRoom · 06-18-2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenixfire

If you decide to join me on this side of the fence, the No Contact Fence, you'll find a HUGE freedom from the hamster wheel of trying to get the acceptance you deserve. And you'll learn how it feels to look out for KELLY first. But BE PREPARED! You will have to be the one to set up boundaries. Boundaries are clearly non-existent there with you, as they were with my family, so you'll have to get some balls to be the boss of the boundaries. Boundaries need to be created, by you, or you'll never get relief from the pain you are in.

OMG! I CANNOT tell you how freeing it was go accept for my own mental health that I needed NO CONTACT with my father and his wife. They were TOXIC for me, and my life is so much better without the emotional abuse.

Baja Big Dog · 06-18-2009, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerseygrl684

i'm not looking for pity or anything.. i think i kinda need to just get this off my chest.

So, as you all know my sister has been sick from post-op WLS complications. Multiple surgeries, pain, picc lines, not being able to disgest anything.. etc etc. Well in some of my posts I care, and in some i'm very blah about her.

Since the age of 13, my sister has been absolute HELL. Running away, being arrested(multiple times), sent to juvi, sent to a group home, sent to something called Carrier clinic (in nj), moved to my dads, has never held a job down for more than a week if that, moved out to her bfs, bf broke up, she moved home, moved with her friend to an apt (which my mom paid/pays) for, ruined her car, got a new car from mom, got dui, mom paid for lawyers/tickets/etc. She's now smoking a pack a day and smoking weed.

Basically my mom has dropped her entire life for this girl who is on a downward spiral. I dont know if shes addicted to the drugs or what, but on fri night at 2 am she went into this screaming psychotic episode about this bug in the bathroom and pushed herself into my room and tried to kill me. Mom actually jusitfies it. It blows my mind. Today is what threw me over the edge. They aparently went to the doctor and they told her that they dont know if she will ever get better. My mom proceeds to tell me "you're heartless, you dont know what it's like to have someone tell u that about ur kid, your sis just got an eviction notice"... So she was like can you watch the pup, while we foodshop, i said... oh thanks, no food for me? jokingly.. shes like ' ARE YOU DYING? NO I DONT THNK SO"

So they came home, my sister was on another episode of psychoticness, and I was yelling back.. mom hit me and i was like THAT IS IT, IVE HAD IT YOU ARE AN ENABLER AND IT NEEDS TO STOP. YOU HAVE 2 KIDS, DO YOU FAIL TO REMEMBER THAT FOR THE PAST 10 YRS?

I don't know what else to do.. Really I am at a point of no return. It kills me to go through this.. My own mother basically is like "fck off" and just throwing away everything she works for.. for this kid. I don't know what I can handle. I continue to job hunt, but i will not move in with my bf (we arent ready for that), but right now im unemployed and just.. I dont think I can move into the new place with mom when we make the move. I don't know what way to turn, im not sleeping.. i have horrible pains in my stomach, im sick to my stomach. Honestly i'm not a bad kid at all. I may be a bitch on here at times, but I am trying to change. I just feel so alone within my own family, it kills me.

I dont know how many of you even made it this far, but thanks for listening. I'm just at a loss right now more than anything.

And Kelly my LOVE...this attempt shows lately, your input here has taken a 180, and it is so appealing (to me, but Im just the fukkin old man!!

), it casts a great light on you when you actually give intelligent input, with out all the "IM A BITCH OF THE INTERNET SHIT", its not attractive.

Than said, pack your shit and come out here for a while, kick back, relax, pet he dog, pick tomatoes, hang at the river, or do nothing!! this situation is total bullshit, and regardless of weather some people think you may be an asshole, (again, not really you!!) you dont deserve this type of treatment, (because many of us know your hard ass image is not really you) especially from your family, that we all know you have supported in the past year with all their medical issues.

invitation open!!

Godsblessedme · 06-18-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

You can probably get some grants and loans (it's not too late to apply for fall) and almost all schools have financial aid and housing. Even if you choose a community college or a technical college, they offer financial aid that could let you move into another situation.

sadly i'm living off the financial aid from my school now

Crimson Kittie · 06-19-2009, 04:25 AM

I just read through this whole post and my heart aches. Kelly you are being abused ... plain and simple.

I've been there and it hurts my heart when I see others trapped in that same situation.

If I had a place for you to sleep I would tell you to come up here for a while.

I know you are not considered a child anymore but you are being abused by a parent. You could try to call a Domestic Abuse Hotline down there and see if they could possibly get you some emergency shelter ... even if it's just for a few days ... just to clear your head and gain some insight back.

And as for your phone ... shut the damn thing off if she won't leave you alone. If you don't want to turn your phone off ... block her number from coming through.

You deserve better ... You are no one's doormat darlin.

(((((Hugs))))) I hope things start to improve soon for you.