Loose skin...do you tell a romantic partner beforehand? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Janelle · 06-15-2009, 09:04 PM

Well, I am having a sleepover date Saturday, and I'm not sure how to handle the loose skin issues. Should I warn him or address it after the fact? This is my first romantic foray since losing all of the weight, so I'm at a loss!

sherry7 · 06-15-2009, 09:08 PM

Does he know you've lost a lot of weight?

I'd probably say something, but not make a big deal out of it. Something like, "You know...I've lost a lot of weight, and because of that I have some saggy skin. I hope I'm still attractive to you."

If he's the right guy for you, it won't matter to him.

Oh, and have fun!

Corrine · 06-15-2009, 09:10 PM

Hmmmm! That's a difficult one.

Personally, I'd probably be inclined to casually mention it beforehand. As in terms of having had WLS and it's left a bit of excess skin.

Don't let it spoil your fun!

Kimberly76 · 06-15-2009, 09:13 PM

I've not been in this spot... but can see it in my head (thank god I have a darling bf) but I would be honest, strong, and confident. That will be sexier than any skin you have. In my little opinion. Most men are happy to see any woman naked, and if he's not happy to see you naked and you end up seeing him naked, point at his unit and laff..

poet_kelly · 06-15-2009, 09:13 PM

Does he know you've had WLS? I think if you know him well enough to have a sleepover with him, then you should know him well enough to tell him that. I would just mention it briefly. Let him know if you feel self-conscious about it. Chances are, he won't care. (If he does care, he's not the right guy for you anyway).

Kelly

netta · 06-15-2009, 09:14 PM

If it offends him then he won't want another sleep over. Why spoil the fun and it be something that is going to make him look for it and be more aware then. It will be on his mind instead of you as a person. I'd leave it alone.

Janelle · 06-15-2009, 09:25 PM

No, he has no idea about WLS. He has been the only man who hasn't commented about how little I eat. I have told him about my leukemia and lymphoma issues, and he didn't bat an eye.

I already have some other physical problems he will have to be mindful of...I missed a step at a party this weekend, so my knees are nasty...bruised, scraped, and SORE. Plus, I still have my port since I get chemo every three months. The port is very sensitive. So, I kinda thought I could just bluntly say, "Here is my list of physical ailments, just so ya know!" And laugh it off. I don't think he will ditch me...he is very upstanding and respectful. However, the skin is BAD! Ain't no way he won't notice!

Janelle · 06-15-2009, 09:28 PM

And, you are all very correct in saying that if it's a big deal for him, then he ain't the one for me.

I just wonder how startling would it be if I didn't say anything. Of course, this is a man who prides himself on character. Perhaps being upfront would be the fairest thing.

lillylaroo · 06-15-2009, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimberly76

I've not been in this spot... but can see it in my head (thank god I have a darling bf) but I would be honest, strong, and confident. That will be sexier than any skin you have. In my little opinion. Most men are happy to see any woman naked, and if he's not happy to see you naked and you end up seeing him naked, point at his unit and laff..

OMG! LMAO! I read this to my hubby and he said this would work.

On a serious note. I understand your fears. I am married and I am still scared of the loose skin.
I would say something straight up but timing is everything. Mention it when you start to get romantic. If you do way before hand then it gives him time to dwell on that. We humans have a way of thinking to deep into things.

Janelle · 06-15-2009, 09:44 PM

Yes...I read somewhere that women are thinking "do my thighs look big" and other negative things, while the men feel totally blessed to have a naked female in their presence!