Do you have post traumatic stress disorder? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

bridgetgirl · 07-22-2005, 11:08 AM

I was doing a little research about different coping mechanisms regarding emotions and I came across this and thought it was very interesting.

Coping mechanisms can also be described as Survival Strategies. These strategies have been utilized by survivors in the past, or they are using them at present to help numb the pain of the abuse. They are also used to control feelings, which may threaten to overwhelm survivors. Survivors may have experienced or are presently experiencing problems associated with drugs, alcohol, food/eating, and/or self-injury.

Recent studies have shown a relationship between the frequency of drug use and a history of childhood sexual abuse.
A similar relationship has been noted with the development of alcoholism and the impact of childhood sexual abuse.
Eating Disorders are common to female survivors. They may develop anorexia nervosa or bulimia. For a survivor, compulsive control of food intake can be a way of exerting control over her body, control that was denied when she was being abused.
Some survivors injure themselves, hurting their bodies by burning, slashing or cutting. The reasons for this behavior vary. It can be a way of relieving unbearable anxiety, triggered by memories of the abuse. It can also develop as a way of dealing with and confronting strong, painful emotions, "using new pain to hide old pain".

Social Isolation and withdrawal is also common. Survivors report feeling uncomfortable and unsafe around others. They also report feeling uncomfortable talking about themselves and their experiences.

Dara · 07-22-2005, 12:03 PM

Bridget:

It's interesting that you brought up this subject. I am a survivor of horrible sexual, psychological and emotional abuse as a child and teen. I lived most of my adult life as a dysfunctional zombie. I self-mutilated and over-ate my way through adulthood. I punished myself and I ate to protect myself. I was a classic example of what PTSD looked like. I was overweight and self-sabotaging. Sometimes I wonder how I survived. Luckily, I got help when I knew I couldn't go on any longer.

My psychiatrist just told me that clinical research is revealing that PTSD victims suffer overuse of the electrical impulses in the brain from the years of mental torture caused by abuse. Therefore, many are left with chemical/organic imbalances in the brain which necessitate the lifelong use of medication. I am one of those people. I have been told that I will need medication the rest of my life. I am okay with this, as long as the medication will allow me to continue to be a functioning member of society.

God help us. As a parent, I prayed that God would guide me in a way that I would not damage my daughter (or allow her to be damaged by others). I was determined that she would not be damaged as I was damaged. Forgive us, for we know not what we do.

LizardQueen · 07-22-2005, 01:44 PM

Interesting info, Bridget. The sad fact is that the statistics show that 1 out of 4 girls in this country will be sexual abused 1 out of 6 boys. It is just such a soul stealing experience to have to endure. It is something I never will get over and there is nothing to fix it. I have just learned to cope. I read an article the other day that said those who have been sexual abused are 4 times more likely to have piercings and tattoos than those who were not. I don't think thats tue but I am pierced and tattooed so how knows! Thanks for the info!

bridgetgirl · 07-22-2005, 01:56 PM

Summary: Uncovering Unconscious Root Causes of Your Problems

Background: One of the easiest ways of contacting your Higher Self is a technique called clustering. I learned this in a writing class as a method for overcoming writer's block. The first time I applied this technique to my present life, my Higher Self gave me an answer to a problem that I had been wrestling with on my own without much success. After the clustering, the answer was revealed.

Goal: What happens in clustering is that your left brain (the logical, analytical part) is temporarily out of control. This allows your right brain (the intuitive, creative part) to take center stage. When it comes to contacting your Higher Self, your right brain is less protective of you than the left brain is. If you are truly ready, it will allow you to receive direct guidance and information from your Higher Self.

Preparation: All you need is a blank piece of paper, a pen or pencil, and a quiet place and time to do this exercise.

How to Do This Exercise:

1> Pick a word that is emotionally charged for you. The key is to pick a word that relates to an issue that you are having in your life now.

If you cannot think of a word on your own, here are some you can choose from that are bound to unearth some issues:

Afraid, Angry, Betrayed, Damned, Death, Depressed, Desperate, Education, Frustrated, Guilty, Hardship, Hatred, Helpless, Hopeless, Land, Life, Love, Marriage, Money, Outraged, Relationships, Sadness, Sex, Trust, Work

2> Place the word you have chosen in the center of the blank paper and draw a circle around it. Get in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths. Ask the universe to send you the information on your current life that are the root cause(s) of the issue you have selected above.

3> As quickly as you can, open your eyes and draw a line from the circle and write the first word which comes to you next to it. If there is a second word related to the first word, write the second word down and draw a line connecting the words. Then connect a third word to the second word in the same way.

4> When you come to the edge of the page or run out of related words, stop with that word. Go back to the circle and begin with another word. Select the next word and connect it quickly. If you are having trouble with clustering, click here.

5> Repeat the process until the page is filled or until you have run out of word associations. For this to work you must do this as fast as you can. Do NOT think about it, just let the words flow freely.

Example: The word I choose was "frustrate". In 30 seconds, the following came:

let go - illusion - fear ------- FRUSTRATED - move on - true path - trust process
true security - God - self --- FRUSTRATED - true path - joy - energy - happiness
settle debts - reduce pride - FRUSTRATED - betrayed/betrayer - illusion - fear
done - lessons - work karma - FRUSTRATED - aware - empathy - compassion
move on - let go - false fear - FRUSTRATED - illusion - security - move on

Once the above clustering was completed, I took a moment to review the cluster in its' entirety. It took a few minutes but the pattern of the clustering revealed a new perspective on my frustration in my "third dimensional (3D) reality" job. Below is the solution to the clustering puzzle that is shown above.

I Hate My Job - Doesn't Everyone?

Unless you were born independently wealthy, you will have to wrestle with the problem of manifesting abundance in the physical world. In fact, you can get out of a relationship with anything in the physical plane except for money.

That usually means you will have to work at a "regular job" in the real physical world and transition to a meta-physical one. Even for those with an abundance of health and wealth, this transition is not easy. It is doubly so for those holistic practitioners -- like me - who started out their holistic career without much of either health or wealth but who "wannabe" full time.

All my life I have clung to my "third dimensional (3D) reality" jobs like grim death. I hated them but could rely on them to give me sustenance to do my "fun" meta- physical Past Life work. Then my "3D" job became less reliable. This was at a time when I was building up a practice in past life work but I was not yet proficient in Higher Self Channeling. So I fell back on the old, trusty, and reliable technique of clustering to get some guidance about my work situation from above.

The clustering said it was time to "let go" of the "illusion" of security at "3D" work. More than that, I had to "let go" of the "fear" of being without a stable "3D" job. I was "frustrated" because it was time to "move on" to my "true path" but I had difficulty "trusting the process" and flow of life. The only "true security" to be found in my life came from "God" and "myself". I was "frustrated" because I was not on my "true path" which would be the source of my "joy", "energy", and "happiness".

The purpose of my "3D" jobs had been to "settle karmic debts" and to "reduce my false pride". I had been "frustrated" because I had been full circle through the cycle of corporate "illusion" and "fear". In this life, I was so often "betrayed" to balance past lives when I was so often the "betrayer". Now my "work karma" was "done".

Through "frustration", I had learned the "lessons" necessary to bring me to higher levels of "awareness", "empathy", and "compassion". It was now time to "move on". I could hardly miss that message since it was repeated 12 times in the clustering!!! (Note that in the example above only a partial clustering is shown to highlight the keys that led me to this analysis.)

Credits: adapted from the "Writer's Clustering Exercise" from Joyce Snyder

LizardQueen · 07-22-2005, 02:42 PM

Bridget Dahhhling, do you mind if I print this out? I'd like to give it a try. I may have dear hubby take the kids out for awhile tommorrow so I'll have a little alone time to do it.

bridgetgirl · 07-22-2005, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LizardQueen

Bridget Dahhhling, do you mind if I print this out? I'd like to give it a try. I may have dear hubby take the kids out for awhile tommorrow so I'll have a little alone time to do it.

Now why would I mind.. hey I "stole" this from somebody myself. Im gonna do it, I realize that I having coping mechanisms that I use everyday that I am not comfortable with. I need to get rid of my "vices" and be free. And what better way than on line therapy?! LOL

katlover66 · 07-22-2005, 07:25 PM

Bridget,\
Me Too! Both as a child and than I was raped 1 month before my high school graduation. Up until than I was a size 3.

Meaghan · 07-22-2005, 08:10 PM

This is so relevant to many of us I believe! Great post Bridget.

I too, was sexually abused as a child on a few diffent occasions - only one of which I remember. When I was told of the other incidents, miraculously, bizarre nightmares I'd been having my whole life ceased. Then with my last relationship, which was extremely abusive, utlimately ending in court (which is still in progress due to his probation violations).

I know that I "protected" myself with an amour of fat. Unfortunately that only diminishes the self esteem that remains. It's such a viscious cycle. To this day I sabotage myself in all aspects of my life. Even with therapy it's difficult to chip away at all the layers that engulf ones "self". I try to do my best and get myself to "step out of my box" but it's a daily struggle.

When things go bad (ie. this dating disaster) I find myself longing for my ex - knowing full well that it will never come to anything but pain. Luckily for me, somewhere deep down, I think my survival skills are there... I had a protection order placed after the last assault from my ex, which now I can see was more for me - in order for me not to contact him.

It's sad that there are people that prey on the innocent and kind hearted, but I also believe I am responsible for my actions and it's up to me to prevent it from happening again. My best defensive mechanism is to ruin it before anyone else can and to remain alone...maybe one day I can lead the life I truly yearn for and deserve.

Dara · 07-22-2005, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meaghan

maybe one day I can lead the life I truly yearn for and deserve.

Meaghan:

There IS hope. If I can find, accept, and nuture a healthy relationship, I know YOU can. However, it's not easy by any means. It requires a LOT of hard work and an unwillingness to quit. As for me...

After my horrifying childhood, I logically sought out an abusive relationship--it's what I was most familiar with. I spent 17-1/2 years (off and on) being verbally and emotionally tortured. When I had nothing left but my survival instincts, I finally got out. Luckily, I sought help and was saved by a wonderful psychiatrist. After a year of intense recovery, I tried venturing out into the world again.

When I met my husband, I immediately tried to sabotage the relationship because he was too good to me. I literally couldn't tolerate the kindness, and my terrible anxiety caused me to push him away. Luckily, my brother and daughter kept after me to do the right thing and my husband loved me enough to stick it out. It took me almost two years to be able to accept kindness from my husband and believe that he truly loved me. Once I believed it, I let go of a lot of my anxiety and resistance. But life is still not perfect and neither am I. I sometimes overspend (which is a favorite self-sabotaging behavior of mine), but I'm much better now than before.

It sounds bizarre to say that because all I had known in my life was abuse and horrible self-esteem, I was most comfortable feeling that way. It was a horrendous experience learning to love myself. Very uncomfortable...almost physically intolerable. But it can be done. Love can overpower abuse, but you must let it in, let it happen, and then embrace it.

I'm certainly no expert. In fact, I'll probably always be just a work in progress. But what I have that you don't is time and experience. Believe in yourself and it will happen.

Much love to you, Meaghan.

roachome · 07-22-2005, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LizardQueen

Interesting info, Bridget. The sad fact is that the statistics show that 1 out of 4 girls in this country will be sexual abused 1 out of 6 boys. It is just such a soul stealing experience to have to endure. It is something I never will get over and there is nothing to fix it. I have just learned to cope. I read an article the other day that said those who have been sexual abused are 4 times more likely to have piercings and tattoos than those who were not. I don't think thats tue but I am pierced and tattooed so how knows! Thanks for the info!

IT SAYS 1 OUT OF 4 FOR GIRLS AND 1 OUT OF 6 FOR BOYS.. THE SCARIEST PART OF THAT NUMBER IS THAT THOSE ARE THE ONES REPORTED. WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEVER TELL? ITS HARD FOR BOYS, OR MEN TO ADMIT THAT THEY WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED. FOR BOYS SEX IS TRANSLATED AS A CONQUEST, AND BEING GAY IS SOMETHING THAT BOYS WOULD CATCH HELL FOR. IT TOOK ME UNTILL I WAS 28 TO ADMIT THAT THINGS HAD HAPPENED WITH MY BABYSITTER AND A OLDER COUSIN. I FEEL BLESSED THAT IT WAS GIRL ON BOY, I HAVE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THE FEELING OF HOMOSEXUALITY A FREIND OF MINE DEALS WITH. HE ISNT GAY, BUT FEELS LIKE HE HAS EXPEIRENCED IT. IM NOT EXPLAINING IT WELL, SORRY. ITS HARD FOR HIM TO DEAL WITH.
I HAVE 4 SISTERS AND 3 DAUGHTERS, I FEAR THESE THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO THEM AND THEY WILL DEAL WITH IT IN A BAD WAY. IT IS FOR US TO HAVE OPEN LINES OF COMMUNICATION AND STRAIGHT FORWARD TALK WITH OUR KIDS SO IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS, THEY CAN GET HELP NOW. PLUS THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS WHAT AND HOW TO SEE THE SIGNS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN. NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE. I AM VERY SORRY FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS TRAUMA, I HOPE THAT YOU CAN OR HAVE WORKED THROUGH IT. MY POINT HERE IS THAT YOUR NOT ALONE. GOD BLESS ALL.