Ugh, blind date tomorrow. - ThinnerTimes

Meaghan · 07-09-2005, 11:42 AM

Hi all,

I've got a date tomorrow for lunch and I'm so nervous and sick at the same time. He contacted me through EHarmony (my mother suggested I try it and signed me up). I just don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I'm so worried he's going to think I'm repulsive and FAT and then the whole lunch thing is great because I don't eat much so that (to me) makes me feel even more worried that he's going to notice.

I've become such a hermit that I'm so scared...I've been crying on and off about it for 2 days now. I don't want to back out but at the same time I don't want to go. ugh... I wish it weren't this hard. I know I'll never meet anybody if I don't try but my head keeps telling me all these negatives about myself it's hard to get past it all. Sorry to whine, I just needed to get it out!!!!

Jeanie · 07-09-2005, 11:59 AM

I know how you feel. I've been on one date since surgery (a year ago) I was so scared and nervous that I called Angela and talked to her about it. I went I'm glad that I did. Let me tell you though I was so scared I was trembling inside and out. I thought I was going to die. I haven't been back on a date sense then (not because it was bad). I say go. You will be OK. Who knows you might even have a great time, but you won't know until you try.
Here is also something we do. I know this sounds horrible, but it really isn't such a bad thing to do.

Have a girlfriend call you in the middle of the date, and if it's going bad you can use it as an excuse to leave. If it's all good then there is no problem. If you don't have anyone to call you let me know, and I will call you. Hey that's what stappler sista's are for!!

LizardQueen · 07-09-2005, 12:58 PM

Don't be nervous. You are beautiful and if he doesn't see it he's blind or stupid. I love Jeanie's suggestion about the phone call. That way you'll have an escape plan if you need it. I know whta you mean about the eating thing. I always feel like whne we are out people are staring at me. Order something small and light and just nibble. If you feel comfortable with it-just tell him you have had wls and can't eat much or just say your not very hungry. Just remember-He is just as nervous as you are. Try to enjoy yourself and let us know how it went. Big hugs to you!

Meaghan · 07-09-2005, 02:47 PM

Jeanie and Amber -

Thank you SO much! I shouldn't be so scared - it's ridiculous. I just feel so bad about myself, I assume everyone else will too. I've done this before (dating thing) but was thinner (by about 20 pounds) and felt good about myself - when I got there the guy was nothing that I was interested in so mabye I'll just try to have that attitude.

I wish with WLS the would also do some sort of brain surgery to get my thinking straight too!!!! I hate dating, especially at 36 - I thought my life would be so differnt than it is. I have nothing to complain about really - this is all so selfish but it doesn't make it easier. It sucks when you see couples and wonder what is so wrong with yourself - that you are alone.

I should be happy with my progress - only 25 pounds till my "normal" self again, but it doesn't seem enough and my weight loss seems so slow. It's frustrating. I have a 3 month check up on Monday and I so wanted to be down 60 pounds and that isn't the case. I need to be happy with where I am and let it go.

Thanks again - you all are the best. I will go, scared to death - but if I don't put myself out there no one will ever notice me. Thanks again.

Dara · 07-09-2005, 07:59 PM

Meaghan:

I know that dating is terrifying...I've been there. The older you get, the more terrifying it gets. But, as my brother used to say, "Dara, they're not gonna knock down your front door to see you. You HAVE to get out there and make yourself available." He was so right!

If you want to find the love of your life, you MUST put yourself out there. Just do the best you can. Try to pick the best possible match for yourself. Keep yourself as safe as possible. Then, close your eyes and jump!

What's the worst that could happen?

He doesn't like you? Then, he's obviously not right for you. Say goodbye and go your separate ways. But, one day, through it all, you'll find your Prince Charming. But, ONLY if you try!

Remember, life's not like the fairy tales.

Prince Charming won't knock down your front door!

Best wishes for a great experience! Now, GET OUT THERE!

Meaghan · 07-09-2005, 08:25 PM

Thanks Dara, you and your brother ar so right. You would think out of the 2 million people in this area I'd be able to at least find one?! I'll do as my mom always say too - fake it till you make it!

Thanks for your encouragement, it's much appreciated.

Blueyz · 07-09-2005, 09:03 PM

Meaghan~

Have a nice time and just enjoy getting back out there. I know for sure there is a prince charming out there and I believe when you least expect it, he will be right there. I hope he is a nice guy and you two have fun. You are such a great person and I just met you and already knew that right away!

Have Jeanie call you or I can if you need someone to bail you out.

HAMPTON5555 · 07-10-2005, 06:51 PM

Meahgan,

How did it go? I read your post late, but wanted to send encouragement your way. You are a beautiful woman and have so much to offer. Be realistic in your goals and realize that who you are is not how much you weigh!!!

Keep us posted!!

P.S. I can share some pretty funny e-dating stories from my stealth perfect body single friends that will make you feel better, no matter how the date went today!! You are not alone!!

Meaghan · 07-10-2005, 08:27 PM

Thanks Rain!

It actually went alright, although he went to the wrong California Pizza Kitchen and I had to wait until he found the one I was at!!! He is a really nice guy. I was nervous of course but it helped that I had extra time to relax a bit before he showed up. From what he says, he's got an awesome job and seems like a very stable man. About 4 bites into my meal I got that horrible sensation that I was going to throw up, right after I had gone to the restroom, so I had to excuse myself again and barely made it - to throw up. Great first date stuff! I apologized profusely and he seemed genuinely concerned if I was alright - what a nightmare! Anyway, I walked him back to his car (since I live right across the street) and he asked if he could call me again and then gave me a hug? I was glad I went but thought it was kind of short so figured it wasn't a "good match" - no big deal. HOWEVER, he just called and asked me to dinner and a movie for tomorrow night! So, I guess it was better than I thought..... tomorrow sounds great to me and now I won't be nervous at all, I'm actually looking forward to talking with him some more and the idea of going out!!!

Thanks so much for everybody's encouragement! He may not be the "one" but a date sounds great to me!!!

Jeanie · 07-10-2005, 08:42 PM

That is SO COOL. I'm so happy for you. I hope that you have a great time tomorrow. Let us know how it goes!!