OT... not about weight...and a little long - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

NewMel06 · 12-04-2008, 08:25 AM

Hello Mike,
You have to look at the facts of it all, your friend reached out to you because he was having these thoughts. Someone who doesn't want help wont tell you they are going to commit suicide, they will just do it. YOu communicated to the proper people what was going on so that they could assist him as needed. You are off the hook, you are not responsible. You did the right thing. Sounds like you are dealing with the "after shock" of the traumatic emotional jolt a situation like that will stir up. I am so glad you have shared your story here and we can be a support for you! Every time you are feeling bad about it, take peace in the fact that he didn't go through with his plans and while his wife was away, you got him the help he needed by calling her. Don't beat yourself up for letting him go home...and all the what if's-those will drive you mad and there is no point in thinking about those!

Godsblessedme · 12-04-2008, 11:43 AM

Mike i'm sorry theres no words that would seem right at this point i think everyone has said it already. Just keep being a friend and thank God he's at least crying out for help rather than just "doing it" that shows he really doesnt want to end it and that he desparatly is seeking help. I'm glad he has a caring friend
Trina your response touched my heart! that was beautiful

coptergirl · 12-04-2008, 12:22 PM

This man is lucky and blessed to have you as a friend. I don't know what else to say, Mike - you are a great man.

Robin W · 12-04-2008, 12:44 PM

Whitney's absolutely right! You are a great man and such a good friend to this man who so desperately needed you. You did all you could do. There is nothing else you can do, (IMHO). Hopefully, your friend is getting all the medical/emotional help he needs. Again Mike, you're such a great man and you did all you could do. That cannot be said enough. Hang in there and know we are always here for you.

Vim&Vigour · 12-04-2008, 01:11 PM

Mike,
Well done for coming here. Your post says a whole lot more about you, but nothing we didn't know or feel before!
What it proves to me is that not only have you a great ability to express how you feel, you are above all able to hear, listen and act upon someone's confidence. You have been "chosen" because your friend trusts you and as a last resort feels safe with you.
I have attempted suicide myself and was in a similar situation to your friend. The attempt is indeed a call for help. You listened and heard. You did not ignore him. You built a bridge with his wife, the three of you have a new bond of trust, extending beyond friendship. Ultimately, the professional help is down to doctors and medicine, but being able to listen, understand, direct and hold your friend and his wife is more than most would bother to do - nobody wants to deal with other's negatives (other than the "dramatic effects" for gossip). By being a link between his problems and his wife's absence, you have given practical, efficient, reliable and trustworthy help.
Now for you to "just be there" for him and his wife, keeping a discreet eye out for mood changes and available to listen to him or his wife... When he'll feel better, in the longer run, it is not a situation he would wish to be reminded of but that secret bond will be there and is a greater friendship than that you already have.
May all go well for you, that you receive love and support from your own family and that in turn all falls into a happier place for all.
Best wishes and hugs,
Vim

Squishy · 12-04-2008, 06:10 PM

Thank you all for the supportive and kind words. I think you are giving me more credit that I deserve, but I truly appreciate you all.

I also appreciate you all sharing your stories with me too. I am always amazed at how people open their hearts and bare their souls here.

I will try to keep this in perspective because I know you are all right. I cannot find reason in the thoughts of someone who is battling a mental illness. I know that I cannot read his mind and can't hold myself responsible for his actions. All I can do is be there for him as best I can and count on the doctors to do what they do. Mentally, I know this. I just have to learn to accept it emotionally.

He is in the hospital now and I talked to his wife several times today. The doctors are saying that the medication needs to be adjusted so they are trying different combinations of drugs. It takes a while for them to take their full effect, so it will take a while to know if they are working.

Thank you all again for your support. You are amazing people.

-Mike-