ShannonS

I went to my first appointment with Karen, the nutritionist yesterday after getting the go ahead from insurance.

I went to my first seminar back in April 08 and pretty much started the testing process right away (sleep study, psych eval -took 3 appointments!-, a gall bladder U/S, blood work, OBGYN appts, etc). I also attended all the classes, except the dietary one which I will attend on Dec. 11. I have to say the Pre-op support group one really freaked me out. I had gone into this thinking I wanted to do Lap Band, but ended up changing my mind after meeting privately with Dr. Callery. Then when I went to the Pre-Op, I had a rude awakening when I listened to the ladies who had had the surgery at different stages. Now, I have all these concerns and fears and am going to need a lot of help to overcome them!
Here is my list:

1. I am scared of dying during surgery and leaving my husband, kids and family. I know this is RARE, but I am still terrified of it!

2. I am scared of the pain after wards and if I can handle it. Also scared of dumping and dumping the first time in public.

3. I am scared of giving up my addiction and not being able to even have wine with my mom and sister on Holidays, etc. I love occasional social drinking (VERY occasional, but still!) and fear giving that up.

4. I am scared of dieting before surgery and if I'll have the willpower.

5. My husband is really supportive, but has voiced some concern about the extra skin that happens. I know I can have it removed eventually, but I am scared of the amount of pain I'll endure for that surgery AND about the time in between when I will look like a "melting candle." Not to mention the fight that will ensue to get insurance to pay for it.


Can you tell I have totally over-analyzed this....

Vikkator

I think we all have those fears. What you need to do is list the pros and cons of this surgery then decide for yourself if it's the right thing to do. I was gung-ho the entire 7 months I had to wait from my first seminar up until a week before my surgery, then I got scared. Did I want to give up my favorite foods? Did I want to stop drinking? And I was more than a social drinker.

But the real decision kicker was: did I want to change my life? Do I want to be able to walk without pain? Do I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren? Do I want to live the rest of my life as an obese person? I kept envisioning myself as a thin person. I wanted to look and feel good about myself.

So the week before I was having second thoughts. Then I talked to a friend who went through it two years ago. She went through a horrendous time after surgery, but said she'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I had my surgery on 11/4 (RNY gastric bypass). I found that to me, this surgery was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I had very little pain. I never experienced 'hell week'. I don't miss alcohol one bit and hope I never drink it again. I have a tool that lets me be able to pass up the foods that made me fat in the first place, and two weeks later, I actually feel pretty good. I don't feel deprived and have already lost 15 pounds. I am amazed at how well this tool really works. Will power? It definitely will help you maintain that. Trust me.

Not everyone has as easy a time as I have, but I think partially my attitude and the fact that I got up and walked right away helped me feel better. There were moments in the hospital when I'd wake up feeling like crap, and I got right up and took a short walk then felt fine. I even did it a couple of times at 3:00 am after they woke me up to take my vitals.

So you have to decide. Are you ready to change your life or do you want to go on the way you have all along? You have to be emotionally ready for this surgery. Your post tells me that may not be the case. I hope you make the right decision that will make you happy.

For me personally, I think I made the right decision.

__________________
Vicki

RNY 11/04/2008

248/139/138
Pre-op/Current/Goal

One more freakin' pound...

tygrysku

Very insightful response Vicky. i have had fears myself and just continue to read here what people have to say. i know i am making the right decision, and have been gung ho as well. Tomorrow i will be exactly two days out, i meet with my surgeon, and his team, and also with the anesthesiologist.
i have no desire to back out, or change my mind, but as i mentioned in a previous post, i do seem to think more on my own mortality, but have slowly come to terms with that as i know i will make it through just fine and be all the better for having done it.
i will heed your advice to walk. i have a friend who will make sure i do whether i wish to or not. lol. gotta love your friends!

i would advise the same, sit and review everything. Maybe now isnt the right time for you to move forward with this. Maybe in six months or a year, you will be in a better place?

that is a decision only you can make for yourself. But as far as the fears? i thinks we all have them in some way, shape or form.

best of luck with your decision,

kat.

__________________


Kat
GYM RAT # 134
TT Bear.. Nearlybear.
Scale Whore #51

Surgery date December 3, 2008

Highest//pre op//current//goal
336//319//235//135

Twoterville achieved!! 12/23/08
Century Club acheived 08/15/09


Off Blood Pressure meds December 8, 2008
Off all night time insulin January 28, 2009
Daytime insulin cut in half January 28, 2009

Nyn

First of all, I think you are asking some really great questions. You should feel good that you are being smart and thoughtful about this. I agree with the ladies above me that it is vital that you think so deeply about these issues. There are quite a few people that postpone or change their minds about surgery -- and, honestly, there are some people that WISH they had changed their minds about having this surgery. But I am definitely not one of them. I am grateful every day to be where I am now. As someone who is now over a year post-op, I'll give you some of my thoughts on your questions.

1. I was scared, too. It is just plain fact that obese people face more complications from ANY surgery, not just gastric bypass. I was so afraid that in trying to find a way to LIVE my life, I was instead risking death. The only thing you can do, after making sure your surgeon and hospital are good, experienced, quality ones, is accept the fear and try to move past it. It IS a risk. I decided to accept that risk, and boy am I happy I did!

2. I'll be honest here, too -- I had a fairly painful recovery. I got up and walked around right away, followed all the rules, but for some reason I was in more pain post-op than most people seem to be. I for SURE was taking my pain meds! I also tried to do too much too soon and pulled a muscle over the healing area in my left side, so that didn't help matters. Everyone is different and will have different experiences. My experience seems to be in the tiny minority of people here on the Forum. Most people say that they had no pain at all and never needed their pain meds -- LUCKY! But the pain is TEMPORARY and getting on the scale and seeing weight loss makes it fade into the background. After two weeks, I was mostly fine (the pulled muscle took a little longer), and I was definitely already going to the gym after the first week or so. As for dumping, I actually WISH I dumped harder than I do. My dumping is pretty mild symptom-wise and only after having more sugar than I should anyway. I was so determined to never find out if I could dump that I didn't eat anything "risky" (i.e. sugary) for many months, and for sure not in public. I had a few close calls where I felt sick on the way home from restaurants, but never embarrassed myself. You just need to be more aware of everything to do with food as a post-op. Don't take too many risks until you're a little more confident in what your limits are. It wasn't that hard for me to be careful.

3. Oh boy. I anticipate this being a lifetime journey for me. My philosphy with food now is that I am trying moderation rather than deprivation. I do drink now (began a few months ago) but only if I for sure don't have to drive for quite awhile afterwards, and I am very careful in public. It only takes a little bit to make me feel drunk. Again, this is where moderation comes in. I'm pretty happy with how things are going so far. I hear it only gets harder, so I'm still being mindful and watching the scale closely. So far, so good!

4. It took me for-freaking-ever to lose the required 10% of my body weight before I could get a surgery date. I had a few other things going on that distracted me (two unrelated hospital stays and surgeries -- weird coincidences) but it took me from November 2006 (consultation with surgeon) to August 2007 before I was at goal weight. I sure learned a lot about myself during that time. I refound my love of the gym, which was a great surprise. What it finally took was me pulling out my research on the surgery and being very honest with myself -- did I want this or not?? So I finally decided to pretend that I was already post-op, just to see if I could do it, and then I kept it up to prepare for post-op life. I cut my portions way down in size, measured everything, drank at least one protein drink per day, ate almost all protein-based foods, put it all in a food diary to track, took tiny bites, didn't drink with meals (oddly the hardest part to get used to), etc. It turned out being the best thing I did. It was a THRILL to be successful at that (I had 20 pounds still to lose of my 33 required and I ended up losing 22 in about 5 weeks), and post-op life was not a difficult transition after that.

5. Most insurance companies will NOT cover plastic surgery. It takes a lot to get such a procedure declared a medical necessity. My surgeon flat out told us that our insurance never covered it. You might be lucky enough to have a company that will help you out, but please don't hold your breath. On the bright side, you never know how skin will react. You might get lucky there, too! I have pretty saggy thighs and butt, but my arms and stomach are not bad at all, and if you look at my numbers you can see that I lost a pretty large amount of weight in a short period of time. I think I look pretty great in clothes, and even in the right sort of bathing suit (one with a skirt or shorts). Just the fact that I'm now willing to wear a suit in public is so freaking amazing to me, I can hardly believe it.

I hope some of the above will help you out in your thinking. Please let me know if you have any other questions. I tried to be straight up honest with you, and unfortunately I think that means that I wasn't Little Miss Sunshine in my answers. Having said all that -- it was worth it to me, all of it, 100% for sure. I feel so very good, every single day. I've had so many wow moments -- for example, I now wear mostly size 8 clothing -- down from 28! This past year has whizzed by. I would do it all again in a heartbeat -- but knowing what I know now, I don't think I ever will have to. I do worry about the future, but have so much more confidence now. Life is good!

__________________
Nyn
Lap RNY date: 9/24/07
Height: 5'8"
338/160 (as of 11/15/08)
most/current
BMI: 51.4/24.3 = NORMAL! (Who? Me?)

178 lbs gone!
Century Club 12/29/07! * Doctor's 1st goal 4/9/08!
ONEderland 5/5/08! * No longer obese 5/11/08! * Normal BMI 9/4/08!

pommom

I have a lot of the same fears about dying and the pain. I have to have an open procedure as I am also having another procedure at the same time, so will pretty much be opened up like a fish! But if I don't have this who knows how much shorter my life will be anyway. How many obese elderly people do you see? I want to see my grandkids grow up and I want to be able to keep up with them. I want to fit into an airplane seat, or a ride at Disneyland! So even though I am scared I am also excited about my re-birth!

ShannonS

Thank you all for your responses both privately and on this thread. I have spent a few days evaluating things and i am definately going forward. I met with the nutritionist (karen) and I am on a diet for PRE Op to lose some weight. I go back on Dec.1 and if I lost weight, I get my surgery date. She said it would likely be in January! I am feeling a lot better and many of your responses have helped. Thanks a bunch!

pommom

best of luck and keep in touch!

tygrysku

Best of luck to you..

kat

__________________


Kat
GYM RAT # 134
TT Bear.. Nearlybear.
Scale Whore #51

Surgery date December 3, 2008

Highest//pre op//current//goal
336//319//235//135

Twoterville achieved!! 12/23/08
Century Club acheived 08/15/09


Off Blood Pressure meds December 8, 2008
Off all night time insulin January 28, 2009
Daytime insulin cut in half January 28, 2009

Gina in NY

I haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if I repeat, and I hope I don't sound glib, this is a serious decision, but not for the reasons you've listed.

1. I was terrified of this too, but asked myself how many people had died on the table when my surgeon was operating...Answer - none. Would I be the first? Uh - not likely. Feel the fear and just trust in God/Universe/Trees - you know - whatever it is you trust in.

2. Pain - its a fact. You're heading toward some really ugly pain if you stay MO anyway. You will handle it. You won't like it, but it isn't as if you are going to die of pain. Not possible. It may make you stronger though. Number one advice, don't fear it and it won't hurt as much. As for dumping, don't eat in new situations for a LONG time. It has almost never happened to me, and I dealt with it and it was easy when it did. You just say, I don't feel so well, put your head down and for me at least, in 10 minutes, I was fine. Blamed it on the coffee - no one had any idea.

3. When you start losing the weight, you are going to feel so good you are not going to give a poop about wine. Life is not defined by food naturally. We make those associations. Do you enjoy your mom and sister? You don't need the wine. Let it go.

This is a great time to learn that food is fuel. Yes, you have an addiction, but if you work, you will kick it and find positive ways to deal with your emotional pain. Though you don't mean it too, you almost sound like you are deciding if being healthy is worth giving up the food - and it is. Trust me.

4. Keep your eye on the prize. Do not allow yourself the luxury of doubt. Be singleminded and you will lose the weight pre-op. Use anything you need to. You can do this and you know it.

5. Your body has suffered damage due to being MO - nothing you do will ever get you to 100%, but plastic surgery is an amazing thing. I had a belt lipectomy and for the results, the pain was nothing. I look SOOOOOOOO much better and I feel like a million bucks. Can you tell I was once fat, well of course, but dress me up and you'd never know. Naked? Well, I weigh 134 and had plastic surgery, so I have a flat stomach - you can imagine it is a LOT better than weighing 300 pounds!

You'll be fine. Fear is your number one enemy. Do not make decisions based in fear, they'll always be wrong. Don't listen to people who are afraid of everything. They won't help you. Find brave, honest opinions and go forth. Be smart, know what you're getting into, know the risks, but once you make the decision, go for it without fear or hesitiation. (I mean, you feel it, but it doesn't actually change your focus or determination, you know?)

Good luck

__________________
TT Gym rat club member #5

LisaM

You're getting lots of great answers, but I thought I'd chime in. First and foremost, if you WEREN'T scared, I'd be more worried about you--it would mean you weren't thinking it through.

Of course you are scared of this! It is rare, but the more prepared you are, the better you'll feel. I wrote out my will, and in fact, wrote out plans for my funeral. They're still around somewhere... . And somehow, making sure it wouldn't be AS hard on my family made me feel better, more prepared.

The pain happens--pain meds help. A lot. Take them preventively, and you'll keep it under control. And there's dumping and there's dumping. Just make sure that, when you try something completely new, you try it at home!

I have a glass of wine probably every other night at 3 years out. I know that some docs say no alcohol ever, but it is genuinely something very individual. I take Nexium every day (for other reasons), and stay away from ulcer-causing items almost all the time... but I do not avoid alcohol completely. I do control my intake, because bluntly, two glasses of wine and I'm drunk. I get sober again in about an hour if I eat something (or I FEEL sober, I still won't drive if drinking AT ALL).

Just remember what's at the end of the road. Focus there, not on the momentary pain and frustration of dieting again. Think of it as your ticket to life thin--and as practice for post-op when eating will be hard, and getting in your protein will be near impossible.

Someone else said it, and they're right: It's REALLY hard to get insurance to pay for plastics. I still have my extra skin, and again, it's a very individual thing as to how much you will have. In clothes, I look completely normal, still slightly pearshaped, but a size 6 pearshaped, which is a LOT better than a size 36 pear! My boyfriend says he loves it-- the skin is very soft, and I take very good care of it. I may yet decide to have work done, but it will be for me, not for him.

No, you haven't. I think your fears are completely normal, completely understandable, and you need to work through them at your own rate and in your own time. And you will...

__________________
Lisa M

Lap RNY - 9/26/05
surgery/lowest/goal
Weight: 303/137/150
BMI: 56/25.1/27.4
Now in maintenance stage, with desired weight range: 150-153 pounds
Current weight: 139 Updated 10/21/08

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein