Needing addiction support - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

06-05-2005, 08:44 AM

I have read that many people tranfer their food addiction for other addictions. I am not sure if that is what I have done or not.

Lately, I do not want to pay my bills. I just ignore them. Bad enough, but the other part is that I spend the money while out shopping. Mostly stuff for the house as well as shoes and clothes, cause it is so damn fun to shop now!!!

Help!!!!!!!!!

My husband is going to have a fit when he sees what I am doing.

I have hinted around that I am being bad, but he has a heart of gold and just says I am having fun with my new body and laughs it off.

I am nervous.

Any dvice for little miss spendy???

Rain

Ms.P · 06-05-2005, 10:02 AM

Get rid of your debit card. Don't take the check book with you and only carry an allotted allowance of cash.

I find if I don't have my debit card I can't spend

I become reluctant on bill paying too. Most of my major bills with the exception of the monthly bills(electric, phone, cable, water) are automatically set up to debit the account following pay days. That way I have no choice they are coming out whether I like it or not.

Have you been depressed? I have a sister who takes her depression out in the form of shopping? Her trunk is full of stuff she buys. Once I offered her to help carry the bags in and she refused. She said her husband would be irrate. So she buys it, stores it in her truck like a squirrel and then when he is not looking she gets it inside the house and it sort of just gets put away with everything else she owns.

She is on anti depressants now and the splurges have ended for the most part.

I have noticed in the last month I have no where for my stress to go. Before it was my food (sweets and salty snacks). Now I am afraid to order a drink at a restaurant and afraid to go buy a pack of cigarettes (I gave up smoking after college). So I am floating around with nothing to take my anxeity out on. I don't want to find a new addiciton.

Good luck with your husband. Hopefully he will understand us women and our need to shop.

Melanie
308/260/170

06-06-2005, 07:57 AM

Melanie,
Thanks for your words.

Depressed?? I think the opposite. I am on cloud 99 all the time. I love my life and all the blessings I have!!

I think I am a procrastinator cause I don't want to sit and do the boring job of paying the bills and balancing the check book. I am having too much fun living life!!! That has been true even before WLS, but it is worse than before.

I was seeing a counselor prior to surgery for about a year. Wanted to be prepared for the changes. I think I will see her again and see what she says.

Thanks
Rain

Barbarajo · 06-06-2005, 08:25 AM

Rain,

I am having the same issues. I love to go shopping. I made a packed with a friend of mine not to shop for one month except for NEEDS. No WANT shopping. I didn't even make it through the day. This weekend I think I spend about 900 dollars. That of course that includes 298 dollars for enrollment in 24 hours fitness and another 280 something for 5 trainer sessions. I am sitting here with big time buyers remorse. Then I bought 2-3 capri pants, 2 shirts, one Rival Seal-A-Meal the new one. I already have one I bought right before surgery. I told myself and my husband that I was going to give the old new one to my son. (Justification). I need help as well. Shopping for cloths in my big thing. I feel ok about it as long as the buy them at Thrift stores. But this weekend was a target trip. I did Need/want them. But still.....

Ok I guess I have to confess this to my 12 step group tonight. Uggggghhhh

pambragg · 06-06-2005, 08:31 AM

Rain,
OMG! I thought I was the only one doing this

I have just really screwed up bad on this for the last 6 months. It has gotten so bad that I have turned my checkbook and ATM/debit card over to my son so he can keep me in check. I still find ways to abuse it though. Just knowing that I am not alone helps. Big hugs to you sweetie

06-08-2005, 11:18 PM

Thanks fellow spenders!!

Does any one know if there is a support group for us??

I think they should call us:
"Staplers Who Spend"!! SWS or
"No Fat No Cash" N.F.N.C.

Dd you know G.B.S. really stands for Gotta Buy and Spend?
how about W.L.S.? it means We Love to Spend!!

o.k. maybe not!

Rain

Gladitsme · 06-09-2005, 10:20 AM

Ok ya'll! Southern California Debtors Anonymous: 619-525-3065

And, since I already have that issue, I'm probably going to join you there! My husband is freaked out when I spend money now -- Lord knows what happens when I start needing a new wardrobe.

NelleBelle50 · 06-09-2005, 02:32 PM

Yes, I am a known Shopaholic.

I have actually had to be very strict with myself for about six or seven years now. I went from close to $20,000.00 in credit card debt to nothing in debt (except a car)

I prepare a budget for every paycheck so I know where everything is going, and I only go shopping for clothes when I'm POSITIVE I need it, and then I set a limit for spending. This is going to be hard for me after surgery.

The bottom line with any addiction is that you have to want to stop.
That's gonna be hard for any post-opper...You kinda have to buy clothes, and it's fun to try on everything, and see how much better clothes look on you!

This may be another one of those reasons the statistics for divorce are so high for Bypassers. Because the biggest thing that can cause problems in a marriage is money!!! If you can curb it now, do it!

I've had to learn to just say no to myself, and only bring my budgeted amount IN CASH to the store. Then if it's not in my budget, I just can't get it. It almost makes me cry sometimes. It's harsh, but it may work for you. Another possibility is to freeze your credit card in ice. It's there for an emergancy if you need it, but you can't use it for until it's thawed....

It seems goofy, but it's true!

Good luck Rain! Obviously, there's lots of us shopaholics out there!

TabFox · 06-09-2005, 09:35 PM

I'm the reason Wal-Mart has had such a good year...... I need to find a way to spend less on groceries also. Even though my husband and I don't eat nearly as much, we now have a foster son. I'm spending about 200 bucks per week on food. I found that I hate shopping for clothes now, though. At first, it was fun, but now the choices are so overwhelming. I usually say the heck with it and just wear my baggy stuff.

Blueyz · 06-09-2005, 09:56 PM

We all just need to win the lottery!!!

I am a shop-aholic, too! And I can fit more clothes in my drawers because the clothes are smaller. LOL

I think we all deserve to be happy and shopping won't hurt as long as we know when to stop.