Friends Mean Well - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

LadyV · 09-27-2008, 10:29 AM

My schedule will probably be close to what yours was. I am in the school system, work with KG. Were you out a lot doing the school year. What about post op. How long were you out of work and were you able to go to dr. appointments after work.

I feel guilty about taking off work but either way I look at it, Im going to have to out. Why is this soooooo complicated?

Snow-Belle · 09-27-2008, 11:23 AM

Greetings LadyV,

Now I'm not passing judgement on all WW's members...but the people that have been the most judgemental ("oh, you just want to take the 'easy' way out" ....or "you may lose the weight fast but you won't keep it off", etc., etc.) that I've personally encountered are currently in Weight Watchers.

I've tried WW three different times...and it did not work for ME. The only thing I lost was the (what I feel, for what you get) outrageous membership fee and cost of weekly meeting fees...my particular pet peeve was that you were responsible for meeting fees for meetings you didn't attend (even if it was an emergency).

I have known a couple of people that WW has worked for...I know more people that it hasn't worked for...it certainly didn't work for me.

I found for the most part, most of the people at the WW meetings really are 'obsessed' with food and the 'program' seems to reinforce this food obsession. My gosh, I never saw so much recipe sharing in my life (and I am NOT talking about 'healthy' recipes, either!).

I have an issue with all the doctors that will 'push' WW's when asked about diets and weight issues...WW is a business, not a 'support' group like AA... And as both Lisa and Baja Big Dog pointed out-their success rate is hardly stellar!

It's not an easy decision to have Weight Loss surgery....and it might even not be the right one for you....but it's up to YOU to decide.

Read, research, ask questions...and GOOD LUCK to whichever path you decide is BEST for YOU!

~Michele

rivi23 · 09-27-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyV

My schedule will probably be close to what yours was. I am in the school system, work with KG. Were you out a lot doing the school year. What about post op. How long were you out of work and were you able to go to dr. appointments after work.

I feel guilty about taking off work but either way I look at it, Im going to have to out. Why is this soooooo complicated?

My first doctor's appointment was in November with the Bariatric Clinic. My surgery was March 17. I had to take one day off a month to go the the doc appointment (I had about 30 sick days saved), since the last appointment was at 2 pm every day I could not go afterwork. So I took some half days and some whole days off. I took 3 days off for pre op appointments and tests, and then for my surgery, I took 4 days off of work total. I scheduled my surgery for the week before spring break so I would only have to take 4 days off. So I took those off, the week of spring break, and was back to work that Monday. Now looking back...I could have taken another week off to just recoup, but hey all was ok. My students knew all about what was going on (I taught 7th grade) and took it easy on me that week.

Like I said, with all the time I took off, I needed to tell people, so I figured what the heck...tell the world! But...that was just me, and I understand why people don't tell, I had a really skinny woman (teacher) ask why I did not just try diet and exercise, I wanted to punch her in the face.

So let me just say, I do not regret in anyway having my surgery. I am 32 years old, and feel like I am 20 again. I went shopping today and bought a dress in a size 10...a 10. Last December I was a 26/28 more on the 28 side, and now I can fit in a 10. Life is great! I have body image issues, and am dealing with some emotional issues that come with this surgery (it is not all kicks and giggles), but no regrets, I would do it 100X over again and again.

Vikkator · 09-28-2008, 08:31 AM

I've tried WW (at least 10 separate times) along with about 10 other programs that had limited success for me. I agree with Healthy Lisa--the WW folks think there's is the best thing going. And, maybe it is. My husband is still trying to talk me into going back there. Yeah, I lost 45 pounds last time I did it for a year. But I was cheating then. I was smoking and the fat melted off. I went religiously. Even though I lost 45, I still had about another 50 to go and could never get lower than 190. For years I tried. But then I got sick and quit smoking. I couldn't exercise, I was sick for months and slowly the weight came back (plus another 10 pounds). Food tasted really good, but I vowed I wouldn't take up smoking again, so I had to do something. This is what I want to do. Period. End of discussion.

If a friend tries to talk me out of it, I change the subject. Talk with people who have done it or who are looking into it. That's where you're going to find your support. I'd stay away from the WW forums. A good place to get recipes, but if you're not in the program, not a good place to get advice IMHO.

sherry7 · 09-28-2008, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyV

I have not shared with any one my desire to have the surgery, However I went online to a ww forum and was so dishearted at how much negative I receive about the surgery. It really made me doubt myself. Am I admitting to failure by having this operation. I keep doubting myself. I feel my fears will become worst once my family knows this is what Im thinking about doing. How did you handle friends and family negative comments.

I know what you mean about the WW forums. I've done WW (countless times), and if anyone so much as mentioned WLS, they were flamed. I'm not saying WW isn't a good program. It is, IF you have tons of willpower. I lost 59 lbs doing WW, but gained it all back, plus a lot more. If you've never done WW before, or any type of structured diet program, you really owe it to yourself to try it for at least awhile. Even if you do it while you are in your 6 month pre-op plan, it will still teach you something about control. It didn't work for me in the long run, mostly I think because I'm a "volume" eater. If it tastes good, I want more of it...until I'm overly stuffed. Plus, I have terrible willpower. WLS took care of the problem of volume eating. If I eat too much, I'll get sick. Negative reinforcement can be a good thing.

As far as telling people....I didn't tell anyone at work. I work in a large office, and people there thrive on gossip. I'm a private person, and I don't like being the topic of that gossip. The absences at my company are handled through a 3rd party vendor, and my manager was not allowed to ask me why I was going to be absent. Even if your direct manager does the absences, you can still insist that he/she keep it private.

I had a umbilical hernia fixed at the same time, so if anyone asked me why I was out of work, I just told them I had a hernia fixed. No lie, no harm, right?

My immediate family knows about my surgery...husband, son, parents, and brothers. I didn't tell my mom-in-law because she is the biggest gossip this side of the Mississippi. Telling her would be the same as posting it on a highway billboard.

I did tell a friend, and almost immediately regretted it. She made a big deal out of it, and mentioned in front of other people when a group of us were out to dinner...even though I had specifically asked her to keep it private.

Even now when we talk, she always brings up the subject, even though I told her I'm not comfortable talking about it. As such, I've started avoiding her. A shame really, because she is a nice person.

I do get lots of questions from people at work. It's quite obvious that I've lost a lot of weight. (I've went from a 24 pants and 2x shirt, to a 16 pant and large shirt...and I still have almost 50 lbs until I reach my goal.) I always get asked, "how are you losing weight?" I tell them a partial truth...I have started eating healthier food, and I cut my portion sizes. Most of the time, my conscious doesn't bother me about this 1/2 truth...except when the person asking me is obese and would clearly benefit from WLS too.

You have to decide what you think is right for YOU. Telling people is hard because you have to deal with the questions and remarks. At the same time, NOT telling people is hard too.

pummychal · 09-28-2008, 11:18 AM

I read on your other thread that you have decided to have the surgery now. That's awesome! And just remember what everyone else has said. It's not giving up or taking the easy way out. It is only a tool. It is an awesome tool! And I could never have lost the weight without it. But that doesn't mean I was a failure before surgery. It's just how it is, period. I told evryone about mine, but after I had lost alot of weight, a girl who worked at a chinese food restaurant I frequent asked me how I did it. I felt I had to tell her it was the surgery and right away she acted like..Oh, I see. Her face said I had not had to work at it at all. I felt I had to explain that I had had to work at it still and eat the right things and right portions but she wasn't buying it. So from then on if someone asks, I tell them everything but the surgery part. I tell them I watch what I eat, no junk, no sweets, lots of protein, lots of liquids and very small portions. It's the truth. I could have easily not followed the rules and not lost as much weight as I have. I feel that we should credit for what we have done. We have worked hard to get here. I just thank God for my tool that helped me do it!

Baja Big Dog · 09-29-2008, 04:38 PM

News flash...News flash

The facts are in, google "Weight
Watchers success rate....

Look what I found!!

Weight Watchers - More like Two in a Thousand Success Rate?

But Weight Watchers has sort of spilled the beans on this well-kept secret. At least it gives us a number to start making deductions. They come in a recent article published in the British Journal of Nutrition by Michael Lowe, an assuredly unbiased Weight Watchers consultant, who hopes to convince us that successful weight loss is more common than the studies say. Mainly by spinning really horrible numbers in the best possible light.

Would I take anything they say about loosing a cash cow (US) to weight loss surgery, you bet our ass I would!!

trish29 · 09-29-2008, 05:07 PM

Really great responses to this thread..thanks all.

This should be a keeper and get transferred to the newbie area, imo.

Gina in NY · 09-29-2008, 07:07 PM

If you added up all the money I've spent joining weight watchers, buying their food, pedometers, scales, books, calorie counters etc. over the past 15 years, you could buy your own weight watchers franchaise!

It is an excellent program. They all are. But only if you do them the rest of your life. Same with the surgery folks - I had it and could gain my weight back in a couple months if I hadn't made the changes I have. I am basically "dieting" for the rest of my life. The surgery gave me a way to get to where I needed to go and learn what I needed to learn quickly enought that I didn't get diabetes etc., but I will still watch what I eat, count calories occassionally and the whole rest of it for the rest of my days. BUT - without the surgery, I'd be doing this while fat. Now I do as size 6 petite and hopefully a 4 by the time I'm done!