In tears - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Godsblessedme · 09-25-2008, 08:44 AM

And if he doesnt "come around" i say GO FOR IT! Your not doing it for him right? YOU want to be healthy and if after 29 years he cant understand that then its him that needs and attitude adjustment

Toony · 09-25-2008, 10:08 AM

My DH didn't tell me until recently how scared he was for me... but didn't stand in my way as he knew how important it was to me. I think the day I broke down and sobbed uncontrolably when they tried to change my date was the day he knew how much this meant to me...

He's very happy to see the results and that I'm happy... and most importantly healthy! He NEEDS me --- and I'm on my way to being the BEST ME I can be!

Good luck hon... and stop in here anytime. We all have big shoulders!!! Weight loss or not - those shoulders are always big and open to fellow TT'ers!

Paula08 · 09-25-2008, 10:25 AM

While reading your message all I could think of was your spouse is insecure. It sounds to me that he is scared not only for you having the surgery but also that you may change. Some people like having the upper hand in a relationship and if you loss weight, he may feel like your on even playing ground. I am also concerned about his lack of commitment to you, Walking out on one of your meetings because there were fat people in the room? Yikes, what happens when you have children and you have to deal with bigger fish to fry.
I hope that you find it in yourself to do whatever your heart desires.

Snow-Belle · 09-25-2008, 09:10 PM

Greetings Skylark,
Oh, how horrible, what a hurtful thing to say!

Just curious...what does HE look like? I hate to say it, but often times the most hypercritical about women's looks/weight are not exactly greek gods themselves.

I suspect he is scared that he might lose you once you lose the weight.... And maybe, if YOU'RE lucky, he'll be right.

I have no patience for meanness.....I don't doubt you have a lot of UGLY weight to lose...but it ain't on YOU!!!!!!

Be strong and look out for yourself...and GOOD LUCK!!

~Michele

Gina in NY · 09-27-2008, 07:22 AM

You know - its too bad. His job is to show up for you and be supportive. If you are about to have the surgery, you're very overweight - you've chosen a path that has a much higher rate of success than anyother so if he's this upset and nervous, he is afraid of the change. hmmmm...

I would have to say his words are not the truth - he knows you can't starve yourself, he knows you aren't "weak". But he is not in touch with his own feeling enough to say, "I'm weak - this scare the shit out of me. I am afraid you'll die. I'm afraid that when you lose the weight you'll leave my unsupportive ass" He is very afraid, but all you can do it talk. Tell him you need his support. If he can't give it - find a friend to help you out but KNOW you can not control him. You do not control his actions. If he decides not to be there for you, that is all on him. Not a damn thing you can do.

Good luck!

robynm · 09-30-2008, 03:34 PM

my heart breaks for you!!! the tears i'm crying are the same ones I cried 8 1/2 years ago when my EX( YAHOO!!!) forced me to have GB. I would love to talk to you and help you any way I can!!! Let me know and you can email me at robynm1004@yahoo.com for a more personal note. DONT GIVE UP!!!