mistymee

I'm still feeling so damn down...

We found a cute little ranch house to rent for this first year.. Geof doesn't want to buy until I've spent one full winter here in the NEK..and since I'm not working, it totally makes sense.

It's really a cute house, with a wood stove in the kitchen and a stone fireplace in the livingroom. The kitchen paint is hideous but he said if I wanted to paint it, I was welcome to do it.. someone has really bad taste! It's sponge painted.. two walls are sponged green and two are sponge painted orange and there is this horrid stenciling across the top.. U.G.L.Y. .. Three bedrooms, a huge livingroom.. A big ol' claw foot tub in a room all by itself.

So..I can paint, starting this coming sunday.. and we can move in starting Oct1st.. and the wedding is the 11th.. I should be happy as a clam..

But I'm still feeling really sad or something.. I lay awake worrying about stuff.. money, jobs, my kids.. what if he starts to regret having me move here and marrying me? The hot-flashes are annoying as hell, which is only making me more miserable and cranky.

The wedding plans mostly seem to be okay... I'll be with my sister this Thursday when my niece has her heart surgery.. my sis is great with words and will be helping me with the vows..

I'm really hoping that I'll get out of this major funk by the 11th..

__________________

sherry7

Cheer up Kel! I think you've got the pre-wedding jitters, and it's causing you to worry about everything under the sun.

The house sounds adorable...well, except for the kitchen paint, and that's easily fixed.

Geoff sounds like a keeper, so chill out, marry the man, and live happily ever after. Okay?

__________________
Sherry

Lap RNY - 05/29/08
Starting weight -274
Day of surgery weight - 253
Current weight - 179.6
Total pounds gone forever - 94.4
Goal weight - 148?

LyndasRoom

Kell,
It sounds like anxiety is trying to get the better of you! I'm so happy you've found a house for the 2 of you. Take this time to make list, plans, choose paint, and enjoy the time you have to do these things. If you were working right now you would be crazy trying to do everything. Try taking some walks, I know it's hard, but it will make you feel better...maybe drive to a mall or something where you can walk on a flat surface.
You're at such an EXCITING time in your life...I wish you could step back and enjoy it more. It's important not to let yourself get into a cycle of bummedness (did I just make up a word?)...you don't want to feel like you're circling the drain all the time...it's easy to tell someone to 'cheer up'...but as someone's who's been there, I understand...so much.

__________________
Lynda
July 11,2006
Dr. Callery
309/198/150
Century 6/1/2007
Onederland 8/26/2007

Jeanie

__________________
Jeanie
Lap Dr. Callery
July 7, 2004
Savanna Annmarie was born on 10/14/2008

I_love_Hello Kitty

Well...it sounds like things are going well...but lots to worry about, so you're lettng your mind get the best of you. See my "Guess what" and "just bummed" posts...same happens to me. We are all guilty of it... I'm trying to step back and be more concious of how I am reacting to things. Everybody has the downers...but its how we react to them that affects our life....so maybe you can take some time to think about all the good things and all the upcoming excitement in a positive way instead of a worry wart way...enjoy...this is an exciting time....you're so LUCKY!!!!!

__________________
S I M O N E
(I_love_Hello Kitty)

start/current/goal
264/155/145?
TT Gym rat club member #46

Start BMI: 45.3 Current BMI 26.6 (I'm OVERWEIGHT and not OBESE anymore!! Whoo hooo!!)

Surgery Date: 8/14/07
ONEDERLAND 12/19/07
CENTURY CLUB 6/22/08

111 lbs lost to date

Shetaz0028

Hi Kel,

I know massive amounts of change like this can be very scary. You've completely uprooted your entire life and transplanted yourself somewhere new without the support system you are used to having. I know exactly how you feel. With hubby getting restationed on average of every 2 years it was a constant in my life.

Like kids have that special "blankie" adults have something special too. I know that where ever I am if the picture of my mom before she died is in the room I am home. Right now you said that all of your stuff is in a storage unit so you probably still feel like a "guest" and not a resident of the house.

Your guy sounds like an amazing man and most likely will understand if you were to tell him how you feel. Just let him know you have to have your grandma's quilt or that special chair you love so much. You are building a life with him and that means compromise.

I could say just pull up those boot straps it'll be fine but, that's something you have to figure out for yourself. Just remember that you will find a job, meet new friends, and you and your hunny will always have each other. Just remember if you are not true to yourself you can't be true to him and the relationship will not fair well.

If you need anything at all just let me know.

Charlie

__________________


Shetaz
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
– St. Francis of Assisi

Toony

Here's a giant hug from me:

[[[[[[KEL]]]]]]

Now breathe... and everything will be ok. Are you a list-maker? Look at the giant thing you've just x'd off... finding a new house! That's huge! The painting etc. will happen in time. Prioritize things and right now - you are No.1! Do something relaxing and comforting for yourself...

It's gonna be ok Kel hon... I promise!

__________________
W.I.M.P.
TOONYbear
Lucky Duck Sack Club Member No. 7
Gobble-Gobble!
http://ktoon.blogspot.com/ <---email or PM me for access
Lap RNY: FAT TUESDAY! 02/05/08

snick1899

I think it's normal to feel worried about your future right before the wedding. Try to focus on all the positive things and I am sure they will out weigh all the negative thoughts!

__________________
Jen

http://www.myspace.com/jencard00

Lap RNY July 22, 2008
Couch to 5k Runner #1!
Scale Whore #23!
Gym Rat #122!

298/277/210/190/140
Highest/Day of Surgery/Current/Dr.'s Goal/My Goal

"Some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know!"
~ Elphaba (Wicked, The Musical)

Godsblessedme

aw Kelly, i'm SO super glad you found a house you both liked (does it have internet connection?) and wow your wedding is right around the corner. i'm sure geoff is just as happy as you about marrying and finally being together.\

Oh yeah, now you'll probably find that lost scale! haa

__________________
Deborah
Highest weight 268
Surgery Date: 12/18/07 Lap RNY
Down 82 pounds (12/1/08)

mistymee

Thanks Sherry.. The house is really kinda cute... I'm hoping the LL will let us also paint the kitchen cupboards, but I'll wait a while before I push that one... small steps. He seems amiable to changes.. he's converting the claw footed tub so that we'll have a shower (while keeping it intact!)

And Geof (only one "f" ) IS a keeper..Amazing to think we might never have met, if not for the internet and a support forum.

Thanks Lynda.. I've been off my AD's since pre-op back in Jan.. and for the most part, I've been okay.. this move and all the changes have totally thrown me for a loop.. while I was able to walk for my exercise, I was doing a-okay.

I think it's been worse this week as I've slowly been getting sick.. today I'm coughing up phlegm and my throat hurts... I'm sure this, coupled with the hot-flashes are all adding to my depression.

Thanks, Jeannie.. I love you guys, too.. I knew I could post my distress and I'd have someone here reminding me of all that I *do* have to be happy about and that all this will pass. My head knows all this.. and my heart knows it too.. but there is this disconnect somewhere? I *am* thrilled about marrying Geof.. we're like two peas in a pod, really... so.. I'm really bothered about why I'm in this funk.. I feel silly and childish that there is so much that is right with my world so why?

Thanks Simone.. you're right.. my family all call me the worry-wart of the family.. They tease me that I worry about worrying, too. I wish there was a way to stop doing that. I admire those that don't worry with things, just letting themselves deal with "What IS" instead of "What MIGHT BE" like me..

Thanks Charlie.. as an Army Brat, I'm very familiar with the uprooting you talk about.. I went to 17 schools from k-12.. and I do have my favorite pillow that travels everywhere with me..(even took it to a trip to Europe 10 years ago- in my carry-on.. couldn't risk losing it!)

Now that we've found a place to live for the next year at least, I'll be able to make it a home.. (I hope!)

Thanks for the Hug, Toony... I've never been good with the lists.. maybe I should start, lol.

Will try. Its a good reminder that many brides go through a freak out period.

LOL... you're right.. I will find that damn scale.. I hate the one I have now.. And yes, this house has internet.. phew! We couldn't move without it, as Geof is a computer tech and needs it for his job.

Thanks for the support. I know that none of this is WLS related but I've been soo down and I just wish that weren't the case.. we planned on this move for so long and maybe there were unrealistic expectations.

Sorry this is so long..

__________________