How do you handle all the attention from WLS? - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Danielle · 09-04-2008, 11:40 AM

Thanks everyone. I love all of you! I needed the knowledge. Vim your reply made complete sense. People have even been coming to me more for work related questions. Makes sense! Thanks again!!

JumboJulie · 09-04-2008, 02:10 PM

I love the attention!

Guys opening doors for me, women asking what I think of those red strappy sandals on the sale rack, kids smiling at me instead of running away in fear of the big huge fat lady.

I've been huge for a long long time ... been either invisible or dumped on. But now it's a whole new world ... I can be excited and happy to see what each new day brings, or I can be bitter and waste yet another day of my life.
I've wasted enough time being fat and miserable.
This is my time to shine!

Jeanie · 09-04-2008, 02:19 PM

My whole life I was a big girl, so when I lost all the weight and got more and more attention I ran with it.

I loved it when people would say I looked good, or even when I was called a skinny bitch once. I nearly hugged the girl. I'm sure she thought I was a nut!

Just say thanks and smile that's all you can do.
I'll tell you even know that I'm pregnant I still get guys racing up to check me out on the freeway etc, and I just kind of laugh and think yep but if you could see my belly.

Danielle · 09-04-2008, 03:49 PM

Julie you are right! This is my time to shine too!! It's just weird. Hopefully I will love all the attention also.

bezobraz · 09-04-2008, 06:15 PM

I love attention! Shoot me

I like getting looks from guys and I like getting complements from gals. Cute guy on the gas station hit on me the other day. I almost kissed him …

Attention is good … you deserve it! You worked hard for it … soak it all in and enjoy!

Tonya

Virgo_Grl824 · 09-04-2008, 06:36 PM

I know exactly how you feel... The first 4 weeks were very emotional for me to begin with, but when I went back to work after dropping 25 lbs in less than 3 weeks people were all over me, making a big deal about me, asking all kinds of questions, asking how much I have lost EVERY FREAKING DAY!!!!

I ended up crying to one of my very close friends that I was so tired of all the questions and everyone making a fuss over me. It felt good to get it out to someone who really cares.

Now at 8 weeks out I am feeling good and the questions and all the attention has winded down some, at least to those who see me everyday. Now when I see someone I haven't seen in a while it feels GREAT when they compliment me.

It will probably get better for you soon, and I sincerely hope it does!

JumboJulie · 09-04-2008, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danielle

Julie you are right! This is my time to shine too!! It's just weird. Hopefully I will love all the attention also.

I really REALLY hope you keep that attitude!!!

Before I even had the surgery I heard all kinds of things happening ... like losing friends because of jealousy, husbands leaving for the same reason. Women taking their power back and in so doing ruining family relationships.
It's kinda like fitting into your relationships based on the fact that you're the fat unhappy one, and your friends are the beautiful ones who get all the attention ... of refusing to be your husbands doormat because you've gained your self esteem back. Do you know what I mean?

It would be so easy for me to become bitter at all the new attention I get. Where were these people before, when I was 300 pounds? They were either ignoring me, or mocking me behind my back, that's where they were. But now they're opening the door to Starbucks for me as I walk up the sidewalk ... and look ... he's smiling at me!
I could walk up and frown as I enter the store ... OR ... I can give him a big huge smile, thank him and ask how his day is going ... and maybe we'll even share a cup of coffee for a few moments. So what do I do?
I take it all in and enjoy every bright shinning moment of my day. I smile and chat with strangers. I laugh a million times a day. I choose to be genuinely happy

To me, it's a no-brainer.

SueRN · 09-05-2008, 05:30 AM

It really sucks how we got treated when we were fat. I went from ...Are you going to eat that or do you really need to eat that? To..how do you stay so thin when you eat all day? That was weird. I've been "thin" a couple of times...short lived...afte diets. The difference in the attention you get is really amazing. Like others have said...you have guys falling all over themselves to open doors for you, people seem to be a little nicer to you...all kinds of stuff. I was at the eye doctor a couple of weeks ago and as I was walking thru the waiting room to leave the guy that was sitting there just stood up and said you're very pretty. Okay he probably didn't pick up his glasses yet and I think he may have been mentally challenged...but still. It's a different world. I always try to focus on the positive side of things. Life's too short to dwell on the negative things...especially stuff that you have no control over. Sue

frances · 09-05-2008, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danielle

I am having a really hard time adjusting to people paying attention to me. Before the WLS and my 56 lbs. gone I was invisible to people. Now everyone is telling me how great I look now. Well what about before? Now that I lost weight I look great and before you barely had two words to say to me. Not sure how to handle all of this attention. How have you all dealt with the new attention? Thanks for the help everyone!

I can only speak for me and how I reacted/changed with the weight loss so take this with a grain of salt. Body language changes as we start feeling better emotionally and I think (my opinion) that people pick up on that. I think I spent a lifetime trying to be invisible, so I was. But as I started losing, and feeling good, I sent the message to people that I wanted to be noticed. I wanted to be seen because I was tired of hiding forever.

It could be that the people who are noticing you now, are noticing you because you are 'sending the message' that allows them to see you.

Does that make sense? Again, just an opinion and you know what they say about those! LOL

Danielle · 09-05-2008, 08:33 AM

Thanks everyone! I understand what each of you is saying. Last night I took my daughter to Walgreens and two guys(relly cute ones I might add) smiled and spoke to me. I said excuse me to one and he said no problem at all and smiled and watched me walk away. Your watching me....It felt really good. To myself I said yeah I know I look good! It is starting to feel really good! It is taking me a minute to get adjusted to the attention after years of hiding in the corner. I even got my hair cut and colored! Thanks again everyone! I don't know what I would do without all the knowledge and wisdom here on TT!