I am hurt or disillusioned. - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

gramamarc · 05-20-2005, 12:27 AM

Here I go complaining again.
I saw my therapist today. Firat she didn't come and get me until 15 min late. 12:15 appt I was ther at 12:05 and went in at 12:30. So, still expecting my 45 min of helpful, thoughtful, insightful counciling. She berated me for not exercising made fun of my eating habits, said "You ate 6 cookies? I couldn't force down 6 cookies to save my life" Then to top it all off her phone rang at 1:00 and she said I have to go out now, we'll talk more next time!!

Evidently her next appt, who had brought her baby, who was screamiong it's head off was a little more important than me getting my full session.
So am I being paranoid or just feeling sorry for myself? Oh yeah! She also said, "If you had surgery tomorrow you would fail with your eating habits, you couldn't do it"

Need advice, what should I do? Should I ask for a more WLS oriented therapist? (Oh, she is a skinny little thing with delicate hands and has probably never had to think twice about what she eats)

Any Ideas?

Marcia

botchy · 05-20-2005, 05:59 AM

I think the most important part of therapy would be feeling comfortable with your therapist and it doesn't soun d like you like yours at all. Can you shop around or have you already come so far with her in the process that switching would hold you up?
Second, (I'm probably going to be nailed for this) I don't think that coment about her was fair. There are so very few ppl in this world that "don't worry about what they eat" Every time you see a thin person in this day and age of processed foods, trans fat, fast food, and sugar everything you ought to congratulate them in your head b/c MOST of them struggle as much as you do..... or more.

VanessaSFL · 05-20-2005, 06:04 AM

Find a new one....You made me mad just reading the post...but I am very cranky these days.

Keep us posted....Van

watergirl · 05-20-2005, 07:15 AM

Please go get a different therapist. You should feel comfortable and safe enough to explore what your food triggers are, she will not get you where you need to be. Good luck in finding someone more compasionate.

Baron Patrick · 05-20-2005, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gramamarc

Here I go complaining again.
I saw my therapist today. Firat she didn't come and get me until 15 min late. 12:15 appt I was ther at 12:05 and went in at 12:30. So, still expecting my 45 min of helpful, thoughtful, insightful counciling. She berated me for not exercising made fun of my eating habits, said "You ate 6 cookies? I couldn't force down 6 cookies to save my life" Then to top it all off her phone rang at 1:00 and she said I have to go out now, we'll talk more next time!!

Evidently her next appt, who had brought her baby, who was screamiong it's head off was a little more important than me getting my full session.
So am I being paranoid or just feeling sorry for myself? Oh yeah! She also said, "If you had surgery tomorrow you would fail with your eating habits, you couldn't do it"

Need advice, what should I do? Should I ask for a more WLS oriented therapist? (Oh, she is a skinny little thing with delicate hands and has probably never had to think twice about what she eats)

Any Ideas?

Marcia

That is soooo, UNPROFESSIONAL! If I wanted advise like that, I would have asked someone who doesn't like me! Yes, find another therapist. If this is what she does for obese people, I could imagine what she would do for someone with depression (encourage them kill themselves?)

Maarcia, good, loving people like you don't need this. My God, haven't we all had enough negative talk about our size, eating habits, and trying to find clothes that fit?

It's s#$t like this that contributed to our size. There was a time if someone of authority said that to me, I'd be cleaning out the fridge!

Ignore her. She's the one with issues. It's sad she can't see it. She's not worth getting upset over. Bless her, and move on, because you can.

Your good, your loved, and your taking charge of your life. This isn't a setback, you just found a mean, ignorant person.

lealphachienne · 05-20-2005, 08:15 AM

A therapist is supposed to assist with unbiased solutions to your troubles. A good therapist guides you, but doesn't tell you what to do. A therapist allows you to discover what works for you and is used as a sounding board for decisons that you make.

I had a therapist once who told to absolutely not marry my husband. And yet, she herself married two years after we did and has since gotten a divorce!

pambragg · 05-20-2005, 08:15 AM

Marcia,
I really think you should find a new therapist. She doesn't sound like she is at all knowledgable about obesity, eating disorders or anything else you need. I can't believe she made fun of your eating habits. She needs some education before she opens her mouth! Just my 2 cents worth.

gramamarc · 05-20-2005, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron Patrick

It's s#$t like this that contributed to our size. There was a time if someone of authority said that to me, I'd be cleaning out the fridge!

Fact of the matter is, I went straight to Carl's Jr and got onion rings! Then after work I went to Target and bought some clothes for this summer (2XX) which I really needed but really could not afford.

I don' feel like I can be honest with her because she is so judgemental. I found myself fudging, not a complete lie but evading. I felt so awful when I left. I kept staring at her (as she went to get the others file) I wonder if whe felt the hole being burned in her back.

QUOTE:bOTCHY:Second, (I'm probably going to be nailed for this) I don't think that coment about her was fair. There are so very few ppl in this world that "don't worry about what they eat" Every time you see a thin person in this day and age of processed foods, trans fat, fast food, and sugar everything you ought to congratulate them in your head b/c MOST of them struggle as much as you do..... or more.:QUOTE

You are right! I did as much pre judging of her as she did of me. But she is supposed to be the professional, I am just running on emotions!

I am going to call the psyc center and see if I can get another recomendation. I really would like to do counciling but I don't really have faith in it and this has not helped. I might call the Theripist at Dr Callery's office and shee if she can give me a recommendation.

I'll let you know what transpires.
Marcia

sryamy · 05-20-2005, 09:11 AM

I have a to agree with everyone else i think you need to see someone else. I have a wonderful lady, if you want her name PM me.

rebelg66 · 05-21-2005, 11:42 AM

Oh my good LORD! Please try someone else. Don't give up on therapy, when you find one that is a good fit for you (much less good at their job) then it will be worth it.
Good luck!