having a rough time - ThinnerTimes

jerseygrl684 · 08-28-2008, 07:37 PM

maybe its just the week.. maybe its just my mood lately.. i need my tt family more than ever it seems.

ever since the last surgery to repair a hernia/scar tissue kinking my small intestine. i have been REALLY down about this surgery. you all know by now how many times i have been in and out of the hospital, time and time again. gallbladder, dehydration, viruses & the last visit for this pain. I'm wondering if it was all worth it. I have butchered my body beyond belief at age 24. Yea i'm a size 2 & 131 lbs now, but at this point id rather be back to a size 22 & 248 lbs... HEALTHY.

i'm not even sure if i still have a job, because my FMLA ended aug 25th & i am still unsure as to if they extended my leave. at this point, i would have gotten rid of me a long time ago, see as how they really didnt even want me getting the surgery and never supported me to begin with. i'm currently out of work until sept 15th. and who knows if that will even stick.

My amazing boyfriend supports me 10000% and i am soooo thankful for him in my life now. He really tries to understand and grasp what i go through. He asks questions, reads up online about it, and even rubs my tummy or holds my hair back when something doesn't agree with me. im like not tolerating much food... if i can even eat at all some days. it's so incredibly frustrating to go through this day in and day out.. again i wonder.. is this worth it?

thanks for listening to me vent.. i really needed it

BabyNicole · 08-28-2008, 07:44 PM

Oh I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

I honestly think that your apprehension about getting this surgery is normal. But once you are feeling well again, go out and treat yourself to a new size 2 outfit. Then you'll remember this was all worth it.

Hopefully this will be the last problem you have! I'll be thinking about ya!

KathyV · 08-28-2008, 08:06 PM

Kelly,
This is why we are here. You vent girl. I know it seems ruff right now but I will tell you 200 pounds in your 40's is not healthy. You would have been sick with so many other problems. I was living it. I am so glad you posted and vented the way you did. It helps us realize that even we feel great with no problems now problems can come up later. I too am 5'2 and my goal is 125 but am way older (44) then you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and God Bless
Kathyv

KathyV · 08-28-2008, 08:08 PM

oh ya,
the boyfriend can not be overlooked. We need our support to hold us up when we get down. Sounds like you have a keeper and maybe this might seem corny but just maybe thats what this is all about finding the keepers around us. just something to think about

GrandmaRose · 08-28-2008, 08:37 PM

You really find out who your friends are, don't you? When things are rough, we really need people around us who are FOR us, and not criticizing.

I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I did too, but I have good days. I am only 3-1/2 months out - and I haven't had NEARLY the problems you have. HOWEVER, BEFORE the surgery, I had lots and lots of health problems. So, being fat is no guarantee that you would feel better. In fact, it is probably a promise that you wouldn't live as long.

Just remember, if you hadn't had surgery, you would be headed for trouble, FOR SURE with the extra weight.

Read up here often - it really helps.

GrandmaRose

Lap RNY 05/08/08
232/220/173/125

Godsblessedme · 08-28-2008, 09:21 PM

i love ya sweet cheeks! yeah its worth it, hold on your healing is coming take some time to just relax and take care of yourself thank God for that boyfriend he is an angel

trish29 · 08-29-2008, 12:12 AM

I just wanted to say thanks for your honesty and sharing.

It seems like we all (pre-oppers) need to be ready for the hard times and the good times. And you really seem to be going through some CRAP times. I am sorry for you for that.

But, your success has been really amazing. And at the ripe old age of 29, I really admire you for taking such a huge step in your early 20s. That is really impressive.

You'll be okay. You'll get through this. Take care of yourself and look out for numero uno.

jerseygrl684 · 08-30-2008, 08:40 AM

thanks guys.. im taking a lil trip to new hope, pa with the fam today. hopefully that will get me out of this slump.

Baja Big Dog · 08-30-2008, 08:57 AM

Jersey...Look at you, sometimes we overlook what we have done, and try to put yourself back 9 months ago, and then ask yourself, do I want to look like that? Have I done anything to be proud (very proud) of? I think the answer will be yes, it was worth the problems, you look amazing, you landed a keeper (he holds your hair back!!), and now things will get better, roll on girl roll on!!

I dont know you, and you dont know me, but may I say I am very proud of what you have done, as will be mnost folks here as we have all shared in your battle. Great results!! And the glasses....dont get rid of them!!!

agodewey · 08-30-2008, 09:38 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time of it. Although I haven't had the surgery yet, I can imagine what you must be going through, and your an inspiration to us all. I am confident that things will get better. Keep up the fight! and keep us the great work!