My Dream Really Got to Me - ThinnerTimes

snick1899 · 08-08-2008, 08:28 PM

I had a dream last night that me and some friends were meeting up with a bunch of guys. It was kind of a "blind date" kind of thing. I was sitting talking to "my" guy and he was telling me that he had just gotten out of a relationship and he broke up with the girl because of her weight. He showed me her picture and I was bigger than she was. I immediately started to get tears in my eyes and told him I had to go. He was oblivious to why I was leaving and just said his goodbyes.

I hate when I have dreams like this, the dreams that show me what I am really hiding from. I haven't dated in about 6 years. I used to be a pretty good looking girl, and I got into a serisou relationship and gained weight from major depression (my mom died, we moved to Texas, I couldn't get a job, our relationship went bad...ugh bad time in my life). I still to this day think that a big part in our relationship failing is because I wasn't physically attractive anymore, and part of me always felt that he broke up with me because I was fat. I haven't dated anyone since. I went on one date, and I agreed to the date only because I told myself that this guy could love a fat girl. After that date I decided not to date anymore until I could find a better reason to accept. It never happened. Now that I am post op, I am starting to think about when I will feel comfortable dating again and this dream kind of brought back old feelings. I don't feel like I am worth loving until I am physically attractive. I hate subconscious honesty.

Toony · 08-08-2008, 08:37 PM

Aw Jen.... That was an upsetting dream! One of these mornings you'll wake from a new dream as you fall back in love with yourself! Have faith and start shedding some of those old feelings

Katie

snick1899 · 08-08-2008, 08:42 PM

Ok....I have to confess one thing about the dream, something kind of funny. The guy who showed me the picture...that was Ross from Friends! LOL!! I have been watching Friends nonstop since my surgery, so some how he worked his was in. Funny because my celebrity crush is on Chandler, not Ross.

Toony · 08-08-2008, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snick1899

Ok....I have to confess one thing about the dream, something kind of funny. The guy who showed me the picture...that was Ross from Friends! LOL!! I have been watching Friends nonstop since my surgery, so some how he worked his was in. Funny because my celebrity crush is on Chandler, not Ross.

That explains that! I think FRIENDS did several episodes similar to your dream... so it's not all your internal dialog... you've been affected by Hollywood!

Ross, huh? LOL!

timidcharm · 08-08-2008, 08:46 PM

I tell you and I tell you . Your beauty and bubbly joy is so apparent . You light up a room just by walkin into it. All my household fell instantly in love with you .

Martha

snick1899 · 08-08-2008, 08:54 PM

Aw, thanks! I am glad I made a good impression.

I just wish the self love would hurry along!

I_love_Hello Kitty · 08-08-2008, 10:57 PM

Its so scary opening yourself up and hoping someone will accept you for who you are...trust me someone will. You're only 26....you have so much time to get out there and just experience life...don't worry about a guy..when the right person comes along you'll know...and he won't care what your weight is...he'll be attracted to you for many different reasons....our attraction to someone is not so one dimensional...so hang in there.

On that note...about 5 or 6 months before I even considered surgery at all, I had a dream I was going to a party and ran into some friends in an elevator and they were with Hugh Grant. They mentioned he was going stag and suggested he take me as his date...and his response was "Can she have Gastric Bypass Surgery by tonight???" And he laughed. I then woke up. Felt really bad about myself. Funny thing is I didn't even give GBS a 2nd thought for a long time later...it was not related to the dream...but maybe my subconcious had already planted the seed.

Our self esteem is so complicated....

Baja Big Dog · 08-08-2008, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snick1899

I had a dream last night that me and some friends were meeting up with a bunch of guys. It was kind of a "blind date" kind of thing. I was sitting talking to "my" guy and he was telling me that he had just gotten out of a relationship and he broke up with the girl because of her weight. He showed me her picture and I was bigger than she was. I immediately started to get tears in my eyes and told him I had to go. He was oblivious to why I was leaving and just said his goodbyes.

I hate when I have dreams like this, the dreams that show me what I am really hiding from. I haven't dated in about 6 years. I used to be a pretty good looking girl, and I got into a serisou relationship and gained weight from major depression (my mom died, we moved to Texas, I couldn't get a job, our relationship went bad...ugh bad time in my life). I still to this day think that a big part in our relationship failing is because I wasn't physically attractive anymore, and part of me always felt that he broke up with me because I was fat. I haven't dated anyone since. I went on one date, and I agreed to the date only because I told myself that this guy could love a fat girl. After that date I decided not to date anymore until I could find a better reason to accept. It never happened. Now that I am post op, I am starting to think about when I will feel comfortable dating again and this dream kind of brought back old feelings. I don't feel like I am worth loving until I am physically attractive. I hate subconscious honesty.

Like anyone could say that to that face, your a doll...

Phoenixfire · 08-09-2008, 02:37 AM

Dreams are a powerful and useful tool for processing and becoming aware of the subconscious stuff buried inside us that motivates and dictates some of our behaviors and choices. They're tough as hell, but they CAN be very confirming. And show you that you're going in the right direction and making progress.

I'm sorry for the hurt of the vivid dream. I've had thousands of them and can honestly say that they are one of the body's best tools to healing. Seriously. And yes, you WILL be in the place to have to deal with the option to date. You'll have more options at a lower weight. And that brings out all the issues. It's totally up to you what you do with it thought. And THAT is the best part. The best. Use this to look forward to the changes you are undergoing

Most importantly, it's up to YOU to feel physically attractive. Even if 100 men want to get with you, unless you learn to love the skin you're in then you won't do very well with choosing healthy relationships. That's the double edged sword of changing your appearance...

SDeRossett · 08-09-2008, 04:21 AM

IMO...First of all you must love yourself. Look into your soul, your inner being. Who are you? Are you a kind, caring, giving person? Are you strong willed or passive? Take a good look at your inner beliefs. Do you like what you see? If so hang on to those things that you like and try to change those that you don't. We are the only one's who can bring about those changes within ourselves. Physical beauty is only a very small part of a relationship. IMO... look deeper into a person's soul to find if that person has similar interests and beliefs. Find out if you click in those areas and if investing time emotionally is worth it. Yes it's true that physical attraction is what first may bring you to meet someone, but there is so much more to relationships. If the other person is just out to have "eye candy" on their arm and nothing more, move on.

I believe that you should try to be a complete person with out a significant other. That you should be happy with yourself and your life. I know, easier said than done. Just some thoughts from an old woman. Give yourself some time to find out who you are, the rest will fall into place when the time is right.

Sharon