Regret - Page 6 - ThinnerTimes

Josephine · 07-11-2008, 10:24 AM

I've seen this all too often. Some people are so used to being miserable that they enjoy the role of victim. If that's not who you are Heather, prove us wrong and do something about your situation. 11 miles from town huh?

Go to freecycle.org and join a local one. Post that you just had WLS and need vitamins or an old bike that no one's using anymore but you have no way to pick them up. After someone brings you a bike, bike to town, apply at every fast food place, and work. The working will help you have the money to get your life together, the biking will help the pounds fly off, and you'll be able to afford your medicine and protein powder, milk, yogurt, soup, etc.

Your life won't change if you keep doing the same things you've always done.

kevinwholder · 07-11-2008, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather0788

Hello
I am 5 days out of surgery, gastric bypass, and I am really REALLY starting to regret it. I barely meet the requirements and I am only 19. I feel like I have made a huge mistake. I read that the reversal is extremely hard and insurance will not cover it unless its medically necessary. I regret having the surgery even though I have heard great things about it but it comes down to the fact that I lost 22 pounds the two weeks before the surgery and now, after, I am losing much less in a week. I heard that the surgery was supposed to make you NOT feel hungry but I feel like I am starving my body. The cravings are horrible. My body has been in constant pain since the surgery. It is just recently, as in the last day, gotten a tad better. I tell my surgeon these things and he seems really not to care at all. He keeps repeating that it is normal pain and I am unsure. The last thing I remember before falling asleep on the surgery table was "I don't want to do this". I wish I had said something before hand but I felt so bad about getting that deep into it. I regret this so much.

I also got fired because I asked for a week off. I spent my saved money on the vitamins and specific diet needs. I did not realise how expensive this was going to be on me. I am scared that when I run out of my vitamins I will not be able to afford new ones. I am going crazy with all these problems. I feel like I burried myself in problems and should have thought more before I let all this go too far.

Heather, each one of us who had this procedure likely felt the same way. Hell Week is real and was not fun. I am now a year and four months out and down 160lbs and can honestly say that I would do it a million times over.. I no longer regret it and thank everyone involved for making it happen for me.

These times shall pass and you will reep the rewards of your sacrifice. Go to the members photos area and take a look at my progress, I am proud of it. It changed my life so much and I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!

Vikkator · 07-11-2008, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenixfire

HA!

You'd be better company I'd imagine, you're over 30 right?
But ya might wanna ask that teenager that lives here now who thinks she's "ready to run her own life."
Seems like my motherly wisdom isn't really all that necessary to Ms. I Know Everything And You Can't Tell Me What To Do.

Tough love...it is a bitch.
Eh, I'm ready for her to move on and grow up, and will be glad to see her fly. So check back in 1.4 years!!

Couldn't have said it better myself. I hear it does get better with age. My two youngest are 19 (B/G Twins) and it is much better than 14 through 17. Yet, I think 25 will even be better. (My 22 year old who just graduated from college knows EVERYTHING!) Wait until he's out into the real world. LOL

Phoenixfire · 07-11-2008, 08:33 PM

Vicki, I know, just think how much WE will know when WE are ten years older! I can't wait

My girl and I had one of those heart-to-heart talks tonite after some rough waters. The battle for independence, etc. She's smart, and she's not ever going to be a "typical" teenager. Was never a typical kid, anywhere along the way. She's lucky she has an unusual person for a mother

As far as young Heather goes, she wrote me after my post on this thread with the suggestions, and she indicated she won't be back. JOSEPHINE you had great tips, didn't think of those and it would be great if Heather came back and read them. I hope she does.

Seems like this young woman has stirred up a lot of our own thoughts and memories about being young and having youngsters. And Josephine you nailed it when you said something along the lines of being a victim.

Feeling like a victim of obesity, how's that for a topic? I sure felt like it, I don't think I'm the only one. This is why WLS is life-changing. We have a chance to lose forever the victim status. And it's LIFE-CHANGING. Not just with our weight, but with everything.

I'm kind of rambling, not sure how to verbalize what I'm saying, but this thread strikes a deep chord personally. Seems to with others too.

Hmmm...maybe that's because many of us identify with having felt like a victim of our out-of-control weight. And the transition to a normal weight is like having our victim status laid out flat on the table as a hand of cards we're dealt. We have the CHOICE now to either fold and walk away, leaving the obesity victim hand we were dealt, or keep holding it in our hand and complain as we keep losing our money.

I don't think Heather can hear any of this, and for that I'm sad. But it's the reality of life that some of us never can let go of and heal from the hurts from the past that victimized us. Some hurts are just too big to heal. Others are big but we find the strength somehow, and it's ALWAYS when we have someone who believes in us. Even if it's just ourselves.

Okay...I'm gonna stop waxing philosophical now...(back to our regularly scheduled programming)

coptergirl · 07-11-2008, 09:15 PM

Oye she mama....another one bites the dust.

If you do come back in stealth mode Heather, I wish you the best in your journey...

Josephine · 07-12-2008, 06:14 AM

**POSSIBLE SURVIVOR TRIGGER. CHECK YOUR MOOD BEFORE YOU READ**

It took a degree in psychology to reveal to me that my parents constant fighting as a child was the beginning of my obesity from age 4-12. My obesity started at age 4, the first time my parents split up. Then when I was 12, I started to become self concious of my body and started to do something about it. I really started to lose weight and got attention from the boys in my class. At 14, I was forced to do some things against my will at knifepoint. After that the weight piled back on. At 18, I woke up with my sisters husband's hands in my panties. At 19, I was raped. From the age of 19 my weight soared from 240 to 340. I'm 29 now, and I've lost and regained that same 100lbs at least 3 times over the last 10 years. Every time I get back down around 240, I started getting a lot of attention from men, get scared, and pile the weight back on.

Victim? In many many ways. I don't like that role tho, and I do my best to break free from it. It's a big reason I want to do the switch. The stats for maintained weightloss with the switch are much higher than with gastric bypass because the body will only absorb 20% of the fat you eat. This means that even if I get dead scared at a low weight, it would be EXTREMELY hard, if not impossible, for me to gain the weight back with a stomach that will not expand and is only the size of a banana, and intestines that will not absorb the fat. That's why I think it will be nearly impossible for me to sabotage myself and get back to 285 where the attention from guys comes to a standstill.

It took a lot of soul searching to realize what my triggers were and why I kept doing it to myself. Now that I'm fully aware of it, I have to come to a plan where I won't be able to keep doing it. I think the switch may be that answer. I hope it is.

So, I know the role of victim well, in fact I think my mother won an oscar for it on many occasions. I do my best not to fall into that pattern for myself. With obesity, being a survivor of rape and abuse, and the chronic pain, I could stay in this role full time and get all the sympathy and poor me's I want, but I find it suits me much better to be a bad ass bitch, and keep fighting.

karen4656 · 07-12-2008, 10:20 AM

I'm 52 years old, and I would have given anything to be thinner and healthier when I was your age. This surgery might have been around, but it has just recently arrived in the area. I will be traveling 45 miles one way to the hospital where the surgery is offered. My support system is my husband, my friends at work, my nephew and his wife that's about it.

I've had a lot of pain, misery, humilitation etc over the years. The "hell week" will be a lot less pain and suffering than years and years of being morbidly obese. I have been morbidly obese since first grade. I've never been a normal weight so I have no idea what it will be like, but I'm ready to try.

Pick yourself up!! In this world the only one you can really count on is yourself. So help yourself. Destiny is in your hands. Stop waddling in self pity. Get moving and never look back, girl!!!!

Debri85 · 07-13-2008, 05:17 AM

Heather,

Hang In there! This WILL pass....;-)

D

GrandmaRose · 07-13-2008, 07:33 PM

Heather: Be patient. That first month is a doozy. Emotions are all over the place. I realized that I would have eaten whatever I wanted IF I COULD HAVE. So, it was a good thing I had the surgery - because I couldn't have everything. I resented the State Fair, the buffets I used to love, potlucks at church, etc. But I knew that I would still be fat if I hadn't had the surgery - because I would have eaten it all.

You should have been sent home on pain meds - at least Roxicet (liquid oxycodone) and they make you real happy. It takes some of the sting out of the up-and-downs of emotions those first weeks. Sit outside a LOT - sunlight is good for depression - and it's free vitamin D.

All the money I save by not eating out and not going thru the drive-thru, and not buying chips: I found a good thrift store for clothes and I use the money for that. I also get good supplements, lots of protein powders, etc. But I am still was ahead on money! Skinnier clothes are cheaper!

I have 65 pounds to go - but am confident that this was a good move for me. Consider the pain, diarrhea squirts, vomiting, etc. to be TEACHING TOOLS - and whatever the cause, don't eat that again for awhile. We have to learn to eat all over again.

Sugar Free popcycles, puddings (which I used for mixing my crushed pills), jello are WONDERFUL. Don't think about what you CAN'T have, but all the things you CAN ENJOY.

Life is ALL ABOUT MAKING GOOD CHOICES. I wish I had had this surgery when I was young and my skin was more elastic. Instead, I am Older and my skin hangs in bags here and there as I lose weight. THAT IS STILL BETTER THAN BEING FAT.

Hang in there. We are with ya!

GrandmaRose

Lap RNY 05/08/08
232/220/188/125

Relovlee · 08-19-2008, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather0788

First off I have military insurance. My step mom is recently retired.
As far as a therapist or whatever, that requires money. She is in the process of taking me off her insurance because I can not pay to go to college this year. She says no school, no insurance. Same with my car insurance and my cell phone that they pay. She doesnt like me if yall can't tell. Kinda really turned my dad against me too.
And for the pre assessment stuff... I had one meeting with a military dr who wrote out a paragraph saying I had history of obesity etc... Asked me a few questions and sent me on my way. I met my surgeon once before surgery and it was during the very first seminar about the surgery.
What bothers me the most about all of this is that my surgeon led me to believe only good would come from this. He didnt tell me about the pain. He didnt ask about support. Nothing. After the surgery I saw him once on the day I was released. He asked how I felt, barely paid attention, and wrote my discharge.
Someone asked or mention exageration... If I were then what would be the point of spilling my mind onto the internet if it were all just a big lie? Would be pointless... ya know...
Oh and someone else asked how I live in the middle of no where or something... I live in my grandmothers old house. Its free...
Btw today and last night are the worst days I have had in a very long time.

Heather Dear ..I am sooo sorry..I first hand can attest to military doctors and theyre care..they get a paycheck regardless so most of the time nothings sincere...although there are some out there that actually care. Im sorry about your situation as well...and im not gonna preach ..i havent had the surgery yet...but i just got qualified to have it at my air force hospital here and me im 27...I never counted on anyone to relay any info to me you kind of have to take responsibility for the severity of surgery and research research and more research...but your 19 so that does explain alot of it and I just hope that maybe theres some type of county or govt help for you. Maybe you should call around and see or check with a member of a church nearest you. By no means am i fussing im keeping it real as another young woman who's about to do what u did...but im going to a seminar tomorrow about this u see what i mean...im tryin to find out info on my own..not by doctors orders. Ive had 2 kids naturally( no drugs) and about 3 other major sugeries im not too stressed about the pain afterwards but im worried about the death risks and ya know anything else that could go wrong. So all in all I atleast hope youre doing better by the time you get this post! Take care
Re