Regret - Page 4 - ThinnerTimes

Heather0788 · 07-08-2008, 04:27 PM

I'm not sure really what to say on here anymore. Yeah I have lost a little weight but its been two weeks and I still want it reversed. I am starving myself. That can not be healthy. I can't eat but I am always hungry. My hair is falling out. I cant even bend over to shave my own dang legs. I dont want to get out of bed in the morning but I do only so I can go sit in the living room and watch tv. No lie, I have ZERO energy for anything. I am not getting any calories in my body to have energy. Havnt eaten anything the last 2 days just because I dont want to. I am already scared I did something wrong cuz my entire torso wont stop hurting. Water hurts going down.
But good news is I think its going to rain today

txchick1971 · 07-08-2008, 04:37 PM

Is this post for real?...........Hell, I'm a pessimist but daauuummmm, something here is not right!!!

Fluffy · 07-08-2008, 05:05 PM

I guess I am surprised they let you have the surgery in the situation you're in, if you were so down and so alone before hand... They asked me a hundred times who I had that supported me and stuff like that. They were very strict on the pre-surgery evaluation, I mean, I had to convince them that I knew this was going to be painful, and hard work, and NOT an easy way out by any means. I had to convince them that I was NOT depressed and I was mentally and emotionally fit to make this decision. Did they go through all of that with you? It seems like something should have come up that they would have thought, wow, she is young, alone, no money, no job, no support.... I don't know how you go about a reversal but if you're that serious about it I would recommend you discuss it with your surgeon. They should be able to inform you of how that works and how soon you could have it done. In the meantime, remember that what you're going through is NORMAL. I don't know about hell "week" - because for me it was almost 2 months that I felt like "hell". I even felt regret that I had done it. I cried A LOT. But I got through it and I feel SO GOOD now. We all know what kind of future we may be facing with all the extra weight on us. Possible diabetes, heart disease, pain, inability to be active, have jobs, have relationships... I was looking at falling over dead from a heart attack. I had to save my own life and this was the best way for me to go about it. It was hard, it is still hard, but I am so glad I did it and it gets easier everyday, especially as I am now reaping the rewards. My husband loves my body (he loved me always no matter what but he is so happy that I like myself more now too), my kids are so happy that mommy can play with them, walk with them, etc... And I am only 3 mos out. I can't wait to see how I feel a year out, and 2 years, and heck, I am really thinking these "30s" are going to be the best years of my life instead of the worst.

You need support. There has to be a support group in your area. Find it and go and get some emotional support. It will help you so much!!

JuliaGulia · 07-08-2008, 05:13 PM

Heather,

It sounds like you need to find help right away!!! very important!! you may want to call a psychiatric clinic to see if there is anyone that can help. To say that you are laying there starving yourself is not healthy to say the least.
I mean no disrespect in what I am about to say but I REALLY hope you are dramatic and exaggerating or need attention or SOMETHING!!! How do you live alone in the middle of nowhere at 19 with no one around you to help?

It makes me so sad to think that the things you are writing are as bad as they seem.

Please get some help.

Julia

tsunami27 · 07-08-2008, 07:00 PM

As with everyone else who has posted, I too am very concerned about you. I just can't figure out if you REALLY didn't want to have it why you never said, "no". I mean, I know you posted because you felt bad that it had come so far and all, but this is YOUR LIFE we're talking about!!

Now, that being said...I'm not suggesting you get some help. I'm TELLING YOU that you NEED it!! Honey, you aren't just weary because of the changes due to surgery, I'm willing to bet it's mostly because of sheer depression. If you really want to look into getting it reversed, then by all means look.....

but I really hope that before you even CONSIDER having ANY other surgery, including a reversal, you'll get some help sorting out your emotions & your head. Talking to a therapist or whomever you can IN PERSON REALLY WILL HELP YOU!!

Please don't torture yourself needlessly...there is TONS of help out there. It's up to you (and you owe it to yourself) to get up & find it.

I sincerely wish you the best.

waterbottle · 07-08-2008, 11:32 PM

I have read this post on several occasions now and feel so upset that someone allowed you to go through with this in the first place.

I am like you at the moment andhavent been able to eat for nearly 2 weeks due to a band adjustment but I am going back on saturday to have some taken out as it is not making me feel well and I am weak now.

What worries me is that before I had my band I had a long session about my mental state and if there was any support for me when I got home. I had my neighbours and sons to help me when I needed it. I think you have now given up and feel depressed and NEED SOME URGENT HELP from a person who understands your situation.

When posts like this come up I think that people start to get worried that if they are waiting for the life changing operation to improve their life these are regular problems? THEY ARE NOT and in the end it will be upto you to start and find a path to happiness and either accept what you have done or go and have it reversed and live the life you had before? May I ask you what made you think that you were ready for such a huge change in your life in the first place????

LisaM · 07-09-2008, 11:00 AM

I absolutely agree with everyone who's said that you need a support system. And, if it helps any, I was purely miserable my first month. I didn't have a "hell week," it was a hell four-weeks.

At the four week mark, it was like someone had flipped a switch--my energy levels began to return a little, and everything changed for me. I think it's going to change for you, too.

Keep us posted on how you're doing--there are people out here listening, and we do care.

Heather0788 · 07-09-2008, 07:11 PM

First off I have military insurance. My step mom is recently retired.
As far as a therapist or whatever, that requires money. She is in the process of taking me off her insurance because I can not pay to go to college this year. She says no school, no insurance. Same with my car insurance and my cell phone that they pay. She doesnt like me if yall can't tell. Kinda really turned my dad against me too.
And for the pre assessment stuff... I had one meeting with a military dr who wrote out a paragraph saying I had history of obesity etc... Asked me a few questions and sent me on my way. I met my surgeon once before surgery and it was during the very first seminar about the surgery.
What bothers me the most about all of this is that my surgeon led me to believe only good would come from this. He didnt tell me about the pain. He didnt ask about support. Nothing. After the surgery I saw him once on the day I was released. He asked how I felt, barely paid attention, and wrote my discharge.
Someone asked or mention exageration... If I were then what would be the point of spilling my mind onto the internet if it were all just a big lie? Would be pointless... ya know...
Oh and someone else asked how I live in the middle of no where or something... I live in my grandmothers old house. Its free...
Btw today and last night are the worst days I have had in a very long time.

Fluffy · 07-09-2008, 07:20 PM

Wow, it's really crazy how some people have to fight for a year or longer to get the surgery that they want so badly and completely know and understand and have researched thoroughly (me included)... supervised dieting, psychiatric evaluations, proven support system etc.... And then someone slips through so easily when you weren't really fully prepared and fully evaluated.

I am just sorry that you're going through this. It was very difficult for me, and I wanted it BADLY for over a year before I got it. I was prepared. I have support. And I still had a hard time getting through those first weeks and months. I can't imagine being so young and in such a situation as you are in.

When I was in college, as soon as I no longer lived with my parents I had to be in college in order for my mom's insurance to cover me at all. If your stepmom is really kicking you off the insurance and she doesn't have to that is awful!! But maybe she has to because you don't live with them and you won't be in college?

Hang in there... it does get better, I promise!!!

txchick1971 · 07-09-2008, 07:23 PM

why can't you accept ev1's support and help on here.....everytime someone tries to give you encouragement, you find something else to spill.....I can't believe that....it's crazy...get some help